What do women want?
That is the question millions of guys all over the world wish they have an answer to. If someone knows what women want, he'll simply do those things and make the girls fall over him. A lot of people had tried to figure out what women, especially the beautiful ones want.
Okay, I admit it. I don't have all the answers to what women want. I don't claim to be a seer that sees what ordinary mortals cannot see. However, with my experience with women, I have been able to discover some of the things beautiful women want. No. It's not about being nice to them. It's not about telling them how much you love them every hour of the day and its surely not by buying them expensive gifts.
So what do women want? Here are four qualities beautiful women love to see in men.
1. A Life Of Your Own
Attractive women do not like guys that do not have a life of their own. They don't want guys that will not be able to eat, sleep or work without seeing them. They want you to be independent.
2. Confidence
When a woman is with you, she wants you to be very confident of yourself. They want you to be able to handle any situation you find yourself in. They love to tap from such confidence.
3. Intelligence
Attractive women love intelligent guys. You should be well versed in general issues and you should be able to communicate very easily. You don't have to know about environmental issues or about nuclear physics. Just ensure you're able to communicate easily.
4. Funny
You should be able to make a woman laugh once in a while. I'm not suggesting you become a comedian overnight but cracking jokes a few times will make her more relaxed with you.
The list is not exhaustive but the qualities listed above are very critical to your success with women.
Akin Alabi
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Getting Your Dream Girl
Getting that perfect ten seems to be a difficult thing to do. You understand my meaning. The sweaty palms, the jitters and ultimately getting that big fat, 'get lost.' You will be saying to yourself, she won't like me. Or, man, I'm not that good looking. Well men, I have some great news for you. You can score your perfect ten. And it's easier than you'd ever think!
To start it's essential for you to see that what you believe about yourself inside is externalized on the outside. Have you ever heard the expression, you wear your heart on your shoulder? This is the absolute truth. We do it all the time. If you're not confident, then that cutie you are wanting to meet will see it before they even see your hair color. This is pretty much the same as a dog sensing your fear. Don't be rattled.
Remember that she's just another person on this planet, just like you. And if your plans don't pan out, then try with another girl. Sounds kind of cold, but it is the truth. As an example, here's a story for you. I had an acquaintance that wasn't the best looking. Actually, he was downright ugly. But he'd always approach and date the perfect tens! Why? As I mentioned earlier. He mastered his fear when it came to meeting young women and the ladies couldn't resist him. Does he still get rejected here and there? You bet.
But he doesn't let him deter him one single bit.Your initial steps are to believe that you are good enough and handsome enough to catch that perfect ten. You are good enough, handsome enough and you do have the personality to hit it off. If you can talk and laugh and joke with your buddies, then you can do exactly the same with that perfect ten.
Next is to just do it. Go up to the that perfect ten in a popular hangout and start talking to her. Oh, and for your sake, avoid the ones with big boyfriends! Just go up and introduce yourself and make small talk. You'll be amazed at the results you'll have. Now, like I mentioned about my friend earlier, it won't work out every time, but you'll be surprised at how often it does work. The more you try, the more success you'll have too.
Remember that perfect ten is just like you. They also want to have a wonderful relationship with someone special as much as you do, in most cases. Keep that in mind when you approach her!
Frank Thomas
To start it's essential for you to see that what you believe about yourself inside is externalized on the outside. Have you ever heard the expression, you wear your heart on your shoulder? This is the absolute truth. We do it all the time. If you're not confident, then that cutie you are wanting to meet will see it before they even see your hair color. This is pretty much the same as a dog sensing your fear. Don't be rattled.
Remember that she's just another person on this planet, just like you. And if your plans don't pan out, then try with another girl. Sounds kind of cold, but it is the truth. As an example, here's a story for you. I had an acquaintance that wasn't the best looking. Actually, he was downright ugly. But he'd always approach and date the perfect tens! Why? As I mentioned earlier. He mastered his fear when it came to meeting young women and the ladies couldn't resist him. Does he still get rejected here and there? You bet.
But he doesn't let him deter him one single bit.Your initial steps are to believe that you are good enough and handsome enough to catch that perfect ten. You are good enough, handsome enough and you do have the personality to hit it off. If you can talk and laugh and joke with your buddies, then you can do exactly the same with that perfect ten.
Next is to just do it. Go up to the that perfect ten in a popular hangout and start talking to her. Oh, and for your sake, avoid the ones with big boyfriends! Just go up and introduce yourself and make small talk. You'll be amazed at the results you'll have. Now, like I mentioned about my friend earlier, it won't work out every time, but you'll be surprised at how often it does work. The more you try, the more success you'll have too.
Remember that perfect ten is just like you. They also want to have a wonderful relationship with someone special as much as you do, in most cases. Keep that in mind when you approach her!
Frank Thomas
Love Tips For a Long Lasting Relationship
An enduring love relationship is built with passion and care, with lots of respect and forgiveness for each other. There are no miracles and no fairy tales in real life love relationships.
Here are some love tips on how to keep the love fire sparking romantically in your daily life:
1. Arrange romantic plans for the weekends such as: a quiet candle light dinner on Friday evening, catching up a romantic movie together, cycling around the country side or having a nice picnic in the park under the big oak tree.
2. Try to switch off your mobiles so that you will not be distracted by any other stuff especially those from your work place.
3. Try to secure as much time as possible having both of you alone, send your kids to their favorite recreation centre during school holidays or weekends.
4. Catching up an old classic sentimental movie at home, which both of you used to be fond of, sharing those happy memories of yours with each other.
5. Share jokes with your partner and laugh out together. Add humor to your life.
6. Switch roles during weekends, husbands get to cook and wash for their wives while the wives gets to do some of the stuffs which their husbands used to do during the weekends such as washing the cars and taking the dogs for a walk in the park.
7. Listen to your favorite music together, sharing some of the stories which you can recall happening to your children which were hilarious and laugh together.
8. Pick up a dancing class together such as ball-room dancing or cha-cha. You will soon rediscover the lost love in each other eyes while practicing along with the rhythm of the song played.
9. Surprise him / her with new ideas such as: he can try to learn to "bake" her favorite cake, while she can get him something which he has been longing for, such as unique collections of toy cars. Tiny gestures like these are important for they show how much you care for your other spouse.
10. Send her / him love cards every other day with kind loving words full of appreciation and passion. You do not need to wait for his/her birthday or wedding anniversary to send special cards or gifts. Express your love whenever you can and as much as you could.
Francis Murphy
Here are some love tips on how to keep the love fire sparking romantically in your daily life:
1. Arrange romantic plans for the weekends such as: a quiet candle light dinner on Friday evening, catching up a romantic movie together, cycling around the country side or having a nice picnic in the park under the big oak tree.
2. Try to switch off your mobiles so that you will not be distracted by any other stuff especially those from your work place.
3. Try to secure as much time as possible having both of you alone, send your kids to their favorite recreation centre during school holidays or weekends.
4. Catching up an old classic sentimental movie at home, which both of you used to be fond of, sharing those happy memories of yours with each other.
5. Share jokes with your partner and laugh out together. Add humor to your life.
6. Switch roles during weekends, husbands get to cook and wash for their wives while the wives gets to do some of the stuffs which their husbands used to do during the weekends such as washing the cars and taking the dogs for a walk in the park.
7. Listen to your favorite music together, sharing some of the stories which you can recall happening to your children which were hilarious and laugh together.
8. Pick up a dancing class together such as ball-room dancing or cha-cha. You will soon rediscover the lost love in each other eyes while practicing along with the rhythm of the song played.
9. Surprise him / her with new ideas such as: he can try to learn to "bake" her favorite cake, while she can get him something which he has been longing for, such as unique collections of toy cars. Tiny gestures like these are important for they show how much you care for your other spouse.
10. Send her / him love cards every other day with kind loving words full of appreciation and passion. You do not need to wait for his/her birthday or wedding anniversary to send special cards or gifts. Express your love whenever you can and as much as you could.
Francis Murphy
Monday, September 7, 2009
Marriage is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
The Battle of Marathon took place in 490 B.C. during the first Persian invasion. It was fought between the citizens of Athens, Greece, and the Persian forces under the rule of the Persian King Darius. A fabled run of a Greek soldier Pheidippides, a messenger from the Battle of Marathon to Athens, is the basis for the modern marathon, held in cities across the world, with the larger ones having tens of thousands of runners participating.
The marathon is a long-distance, foot race on the road with an official distance of 26 7/32 miles, requiring great strength and endurance. A sprint, on the other hand, is a short distance run, requiring a burst of energy, to run at one's full speed. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
From the website Marathon Rookie, I found the Top 10 Rookie Mistakes for beginner marathon runners, which apply to marriage as well. They are: injury, hydration, lack of knowledge, starting too fast, wrong goal, motivation, lack of belief, lack of support, and underestimate stretching. Let's look at each one of these for why marriages are often troubled, and fail.
1. Injury. A couple comes into marriage, bringing emotional and spiritual baggage, and often many wounds. MarathonRookie.com says that many beginner runners "notice soreness in their shins or knees and ignore it. They keep running and BAM, it hits them. They're done. Game Over. Be aware of the warning signs and how to treat them."
If one person in the marriage is injured, then the marriage's health will be affected as well. We need to realize that it is only God who can heal us and make us whole - not our spouse. Men love to fix things, but they can't fix their wives. Vice versa for wives trying to change, fix, or improve their husbands.
Jesus is the healer of wounded hearts. Sometimes healing from deep hurts such as parental rejection, abandonment, childhood abuse, dysfunctional relationships in adulthood, abortion, drug, alcohol, or pornography and gambling addictions may require professional counseling, spiritual deliverance, and/or pastoral accountability.
Ultimately as we seek God's face, study His word, and obey Him, we will receive our healing. Psalm 107:20 says, "He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction."
2. Hydration. MarathonRookie.com says that runners get dehydrated because they underestimate how much water their bodies need during training. Married couples don't realize how much they need Jesus' "living waters" each day for their marriage to last. In John 4:10 (NKJV), Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at the well, "Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."
3. Lack of knowledge. When you're dating, let's face it, your fiance' doesn't realize what he's really getting himself into! He doesn't know that you're a clean-freak, you hate to cook, and you aren't a morning person. After all, you go out on weekend dates to the Japanese or Italian restaurant, where they cook the delicious food, wash the dishes, and after your talks and snuggles til midnight at his house, you go home and crash - and sleep in the next morning!
Couples may see some things that concern them while they date, but they often don't really see with their "love blinders" on. They're too focused on how wonderful this person is, and how they're going to be happy for the rest of their lives. A longer dating period, asking probing questions, and paying attention to little details, will help you to get to know your fiance better - and you will have less unpleasant "surprises," such as him being a "messy" or her having a new shoes addiction - after saying "I do."
4. Starting too fast. MarathonRookie.com says that beginner runners try to run more miles than the scheduled training. "If you feel really strong when you begin training and want to run more, PLEASE resist the temptation. By going the extra mile, you are substantially increasing the likelihood of injury."
Going too fast in a relationship can increase your chances of being hurt, too. This is especially true in a relationship where there's lots of intense chemistry. Lust will not see you through the years; commitment and love will! Take it slow, and get to know this person before the wedding day!
5. Wrong training program. In Luke 6:47-49 (NKJV), the story of the man building his house on the foundation of the rock, and it standing in the fierce storm is a perfect picture of a good marriage that will last. Married couples will face many storms through the years, and having their marriage built on the principles of God's word is what will get them through these storms.
Some couples had the wrong "training program," in that they were never taught the truth of God's word, and don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. MarathonRunner.com says some runners choose a program that is more difficult than they can handle, and they wind up quitting. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Apart from Me you can do nothing." We need God's help with our marriage problems. All we have to do is come to Him in humble faith, and He will give us all we need.
6. Wrong goal. Some runners focus on finishing the marathon quickly. This is the wrong goal, and increases the chances of injury and not finishing at all. The goal of the marathon for a beginner should be just to finish. This should be our goal in marriage, too, doing all we can to prevent divorce. It takes long-term love, mutual honor, commitment, affection, and open and honest communication to make marriage work over the long haul. A great sense of humor helps, too!
Some people go into marriage with a goal of the other person making them happy, and completing them. Only God can fill us up and complete us. We need to lay aside unreasonable expectations of our husband or wife, and not put that kind of pressure on them.
We may also have other goals that are quite selfish in nature, such as our own person career or business success, to the detriment of the marriage and family - ambitiously spending all our time on personal projects to get "ahead," while neglecting the very ones we love. Balance is the key. Time with our husband or wife lets them know we love them, and enjoy them.
7. Motivation. Just as in a run when there's bad weather, an injury, illness, or work that can keep him from a run, and cause him to lose his motivation to continue, there are problems that occur in marriage which causes a husband or a wife to lose their motivation to continue the marriage. Financial stresses, the demands of children, relatives and friends who intrude, pressures at work, a nagging spouse, infidelity or pornography, addictions, fatigue, boredom can all play a part in one of the partners wanting to bail out of the marriage. Keep your eye on the goal; to finish strong. Never give up!
8. Lack of belief. In Mark 6: 5-6, unbelief hindered the purposes of God. People often give up far too easily and quickly today, and file for divorce. "Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching."
MarathonRookie.Com says that beginner runners begin training and have a hard time finishing their first five-mile run. After that, they give up, thinking they could never do a marathon. "But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26, NKJV) We need to have faith and believe that God will heal our marriages.
9. Lack of support. The world is far too eager to tell you that marriage is too hard, and it's just much better (for your sake, for your children's sake, for your career's sake, for your sanity's or checking account's sake) to get a divorce. Many married couples do not get the support they need to help their marriages succeed from family, friends, co-workers, and even professional counselors and spiritual advisors.
If you are counseling with a professional counselor who tells you to divorce your spouse for any reason other than unfaithfulness, spouse or child abuse or neglect, then RUN! Sometimes a couple may need to draw boundaries with people who are critical of their marriage, or are giving one or both of them ungodly advice. You might even have to cut off contact with them for a season, or permanently. Your marriage is your most important priority, under God.
As the marriage goes, the family goes. As the family goes, the community goes. As the community goes, the state goes. As the state goes, the nation goes. As the nation goes, the world goes! Successful marriages have far-reaching consequences!
God told Abraham that he and his descendants would be blessed forever, to all future generations! Because of Abraham's and Sarah's faith in and obedience to God, and due to their committed marriage, their children and all future generations were blessed!
Don't you think their marriage might have been strained just a little when Abraham slept with Sarah's maid, and she became pregnant with Ishmael, after Sarah had years of barrenness? Yet Sarah stayed, despite her great pain and emptiness...and God rewarded her with her own baby boy, Isaac, which means "laughter."
10. Stretching. Beginner runners often underestimate the importance of stretching, which gives them less soreness, puts them at less risk for injury, and gives them greater flexibility and a longer stride. Stretch out your arms to Jesus and to your husband or wife. Go all out in your love and devotion. Bend, cooperate, be understanding, show mercy and forgiveness. This will help your marriage to last.
Don't be so rigid and set in your ways, insisting that you are right all the time, that you can't meet your spouse half-way or more. Lay your life down for the sake of your marriage. Through the years of your marriage, you will learn that "stretching" yourself in faith and love will enhance your marriage relationship, and create greater tenderness, affection, respect, and passion in your marriage.
A sprint may get you to the finish line faster, but a marathon has incredible awards. Go for the gold in marriage. Do the marathon, and win!
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." - Unknown
Beth Jones
The marathon is a long-distance, foot race on the road with an official distance of 26 7/32 miles, requiring great strength and endurance. A sprint, on the other hand, is a short distance run, requiring a burst of energy, to run at one's full speed. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
From the website Marathon Rookie, I found the Top 10 Rookie Mistakes for beginner marathon runners, which apply to marriage as well. They are: injury, hydration, lack of knowledge, starting too fast, wrong goal, motivation, lack of belief, lack of support, and underestimate stretching. Let's look at each one of these for why marriages are often troubled, and fail.
1. Injury. A couple comes into marriage, bringing emotional and spiritual baggage, and often many wounds. MarathonRookie.com says that many beginner runners "notice soreness in their shins or knees and ignore it. They keep running and BAM, it hits them. They're done. Game Over. Be aware of the warning signs and how to treat them."
If one person in the marriage is injured, then the marriage's health will be affected as well. We need to realize that it is only God who can heal us and make us whole - not our spouse. Men love to fix things, but they can't fix their wives. Vice versa for wives trying to change, fix, or improve their husbands.
Jesus is the healer of wounded hearts. Sometimes healing from deep hurts such as parental rejection, abandonment, childhood abuse, dysfunctional relationships in adulthood, abortion, drug, alcohol, or pornography and gambling addictions may require professional counseling, spiritual deliverance, and/or pastoral accountability.
Ultimately as we seek God's face, study His word, and obey Him, we will receive our healing. Psalm 107:20 says, "He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction."
2. Hydration. MarathonRookie.com says that runners get dehydrated because they underestimate how much water their bodies need during training. Married couples don't realize how much they need Jesus' "living waters" each day for their marriage to last. In John 4:10 (NKJV), Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at the well, "Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."
3. Lack of knowledge. When you're dating, let's face it, your fiance' doesn't realize what he's really getting himself into! He doesn't know that you're a clean-freak, you hate to cook, and you aren't a morning person. After all, you go out on weekend dates to the Japanese or Italian restaurant, where they cook the delicious food, wash the dishes, and after your talks and snuggles til midnight at his house, you go home and crash - and sleep in the next morning!
Couples may see some things that concern them while they date, but they often don't really see with their "love blinders" on. They're too focused on how wonderful this person is, and how they're going to be happy for the rest of their lives. A longer dating period, asking probing questions, and paying attention to little details, will help you to get to know your fiance better - and you will have less unpleasant "surprises," such as him being a "messy" or her having a new shoes addiction - after saying "I do."
4. Starting too fast. MarathonRookie.com says that beginner runners try to run more miles than the scheduled training. "If you feel really strong when you begin training and want to run more, PLEASE resist the temptation. By going the extra mile, you are substantially increasing the likelihood of injury."
Going too fast in a relationship can increase your chances of being hurt, too. This is especially true in a relationship where there's lots of intense chemistry. Lust will not see you through the years; commitment and love will! Take it slow, and get to know this person before the wedding day!
5. Wrong training program. In Luke 6:47-49 (NKJV), the story of the man building his house on the foundation of the rock, and it standing in the fierce storm is a perfect picture of a good marriage that will last. Married couples will face many storms through the years, and having their marriage built on the principles of God's word is what will get them through these storms.
Some couples had the wrong "training program," in that they were never taught the truth of God's word, and don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. MarathonRunner.com says some runners choose a program that is more difficult than they can handle, and they wind up quitting. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Apart from Me you can do nothing." We need God's help with our marriage problems. All we have to do is come to Him in humble faith, and He will give us all we need.
6. Wrong goal. Some runners focus on finishing the marathon quickly. This is the wrong goal, and increases the chances of injury and not finishing at all. The goal of the marathon for a beginner should be just to finish. This should be our goal in marriage, too, doing all we can to prevent divorce. It takes long-term love, mutual honor, commitment, affection, and open and honest communication to make marriage work over the long haul. A great sense of humor helps, too!
Some people go into marriage with a goal of the other person making them happy, and completing them. Only God can fill us up and complete us. We need to lay aside unreasonable expectations of our husband or wife, and not put that kind of pressure on them.
We may also have other goals that are quite selfish in nature, such as our own person career or business success, to the detriment of the marriage and family - ambitiously spending all our time on personal projects to get "ahead," while neglecting the very ones we love. Balance is the key. Time with our husband or wife lets them know we love them, and enjoy them.
7. Motivation. Just as in a run when there's bad weather, an injury, illness, or work that can keep him from a run, and cause him to lose his motivation to continue, there are problems that occur in marriage which causes a husband or a wife to lose their motivation to continue the marriage. Financial stresses, the demands of children, relatives and friends who intrude, pressures at work, a nagging spouse, infidelity or pornography, addictions, fatigue, boredom can all play a part in one of the partners wanting to bail out of the marriage. Keep your eye on the goal; to finish strong. Never give up!
8. Lack of belief. In Mark 6: 5-6, unbelief hindered the purposes of God. People often give up far too easily and quickly today, and file for divorce. "Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching."
MarathonRookie.Com says that beginner runners begin training and have a hard time finishing their first five-mile run. After that, they give up, thinking they could never do a marathon. "But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26, NKJV) We need to have faith and believe that God will heal our marriages.
9. Lack of support. The world is far too eager to tell you that marriage is too hard, and it's just much better (for your sake, for your children's sake, for your career's sake, for your sanity's or checking account's sake) to get a divorce. Many married couples do not get the support they need to help their marriages succeed from family, friends, co-workers, and even professional counselors and spiritual advisors.
If you are counseling with a professional counselor who tells you to divorce your spouse for any reason other than unfaithfulness, spouse or child abuse or neglect, then RUN! Sometimes a couple may need to draw boundaries with people who are critical of their marriage, or are giving one or both of them ungodly advice. You might even have to cut off contact with them for a season, or permanently. Your marriage is your most important priority, under God.
As the marriage goes, the family goes. As the family goes, the community goes. As the community goes, the state goes. As the state goes, the nation goes. As the nation goes, the world goes! Successful marriages have far-reaching consequences!
God told Abraham that he and his descendants would be blessed forever, to all future generations! Because of Abraham's and Sarah's faith in and obedience to God, and due to their committed marriage, their children and all future generations were blessed!
Don't you think their marriage might have been strained just a little when Abraham slept with Sarah's maid, and she became pregnant with Ishmael, after Sarah had years of barrenness? Yet Sarah stayed, despite her great pain and emptiness...and God rewarded her with her own baby boy, Isaac, which means "laughter."
10. Stretching. Beginner runners often underestimate the importance of stretching, which gives them less soreness, puts them at less risk for injury, and gives them greater flexibility and a longer stride. Stretch out your arms to Jesus and to your husband or wife. Go all out in your love and devotion. Bend, cooperate, be understanding, show mercy and forgiveness. This will help your marriage to last.
Don't be so rigid and set in your ways, insisting that you are right all the time, that you can't meet your spouse half-way or more. Lay your life down for the sake of your marriage. Through the years of your marriage, you will learn that "stretching" yourself in faith and love will enhance your marriage relationship, and create greater tenderness, affection, respect, and passion in your marriage.
A sprint may get you to the finish line faster, but a marathon has incredible awards. Go for the gold in marriage. Do the marathon, and win!
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." - Unknown
Beth Jones
What Are the Secrets to Marriage?
Did you know that you can actually stay married - and did you know that thousands of people have become happier the longer they do it? Of course, many people do not, and end up divorcing, but it was because they didn't set relationship goals, communicate, and re-group.
Indeed, marriage can be just as simple as 1-2-3 and you can find your path to marital bliss, just by dotting your i's, minding your p's and q's, and putting some practical wisdom into practice. These efforts, though they seem small, along with some of your resourcefulness, can be rewarding.
Step 1: Set your relationship goals, with a plan, and love the details! In any relationship, marriage or otherwise, the details are important for you to know. What are your specific actions? Are you going to focus on dating or vacations? Will you date once weekly, or vacation twice per year, or other plans? Will you enlist your spouse with helping to pick out the spots?
How will you involve others in your life that these goals are important to your marriage? What will it take to accomplish these goals? Will you need to hire a back-up babysitter? Do you have the funds? How much of an investment are you willing to put into the marriage? Who else in your circle is willing to invest in your plans?
Look at this as creating your secrets to marriage business plan,. First, be realistic and not judgmental about the things you can do well. If you want to convince your spouse about plans you have for the marriage, find something that makes you passionate. Don't force yourself to be a better wife - just do what you enjoy doing.
Step 2: Communicate! Be creative with the ways you communicate with your spouse - send an Email, write a note, put it on a sticky, tell your spouse's friends, put a letter in the mail, start a chat session. Whatever you do, use all the resources available to you and just communicate.
Give your spouse an endearing nick name. The name should be pleasing to your spouse. Maybe think of characteristic to turn into a name - "Suzy Baker", "Flower", "Sunshine", "Hairy", "Prince Charming". This starts a new phase of communication only between the two of you. Let others know the special names for each other by speaking this way in public. All this builds your marriage bond.
Step 3: Re-group Always do an assessment of how well your plans are working. Come up with an exit plan - no, not exit your marriage. Exit a goal. If a goal does not give you the results you expected, what is your back-up plan? What resources will you need to shift to the back-up plan?
There may also be temporary lull in your marriage as you switch between plans - so be patient, a virtue in the secrets to marriage. Some marriages fail because the spouses can't deal with a temporary stall in plans. Be conscious that your marriage is a work in process and needs an infusion of ideas to get stronger.
Etta kit
Indeed, marriage can be just as simple as 1-2-3 and you can find your path to marital bliss, just by dotting your i's, minding your p's and q's, and putting some practical wisdom into practice. These efforts, though they seem small, along with some of your resourcefulness, can be rewarding.
Step 1: Set your relationship goals, with a plan, and love the details! In any relationship, marriage or otherwise, the details are important for you to know. What are your specific actions? Are you going to focus on dating or vacations? Will you date once weekly, or vacation twice per year, or other plans? Will you enlist your spouse with helping to pick out the spots?
How will you involve others in your life that these goals are important to your marriage? What will it take to accomplish these goals? Will you need to hire a back-up babysitter? Do you have the funds? How much of an investment are you willing to put into the marriage? Who else in your circle is willing to invest in your plans?
Look at this as creating your secrets to marriage business plan,. First, be realistic and not judgmental about the things you can do well. If you want to convince your spouse about plans you have for the marriage, find something that makes you passionate. Don't force yourself to be a better wife - just do what you enjoy doing.
Step 2: Communicate! Be creative with the ways you communicate with your spouse - send an Email, write a note, put it on a sticky, tell your spouse's friends, put a letter in the mail, start a chat session. Whatever you do, use all the resources available to you and just communicate.
Give your spouse an endearing nick name. The name should be pleasing to your spouse. Maybe think of characteristic to turn into a name - "Suzy Baker", "Flower", "Sunshine", "Hairy", "Prince Charming". This starts a new phase of communication only between the two of you. Let others know the special names for each other by speaking this way in public. All this builds your marriage bond.
Step 3: Re-group Always do an assessment of how well your plans are working. Come up with an exit plan - no, not exit your marriage. Exit a goal. If a goal does not give you the results you expected, what is your back-up plan? What resources will you need to shift to the back-up plan?
There may also be temporary lull in your marriage as you switch between plans - so be patient, a virtue in the secrets to marriage. Some marriages fail because the spouses can't deal with a temporary stall in plans. Be conscious that your marriage is a work in process and needs an infusion of ideas to get stronger.
Etta kit
How to Save Your Marriage - Yes, You Can Fix Your Marriage and Stop Your Divorce Now!
How sad is it that marriages start with such high expectations, joyful celebration and fabulous honeymoon. The harsh reality is that the only direction that you can go is down after that. While all marriages go down a bit, many marriages go way down - to the brink of divorce. My marriage was just like that - and I desperately wanted to fix it.
When things were heading south (to a divorce), I tried everything. I cried, I begged him not to leave, I acted like I didn't care - nothing worked. But - I had to do something to stop this divorce, I was desperate.
Time went on and things became worse. My spouse was barely home anymore (starting his new life, I assume) - I was waiting with dread for the divorce papers. I was so despondent but didn't know what to do.
Fast forward to today - we didn't end up getting a divorce. We have worked things out - our marriage is stronger than ever and we are more in love with each other than we have ever been.
Here's a tip. Don't ever beg your spouse. People always want what they can't get. What does this mean for a troubled marriage? "The more you try to show that you want someone, the less that he or she is going to want you". Do not beg to stop your divorce.
Should you talk about divorce? Well, this is different. Getting a divorce is an awful thing for all involved (even the person who wants the divorce). Even if nobody has mentioned a divorce, it doesn't mean that it isn't on both of your minds. It's kind of like the elephant in the room. If things look like they are headed in that direction anyway, you should be the one to take charge and bring up the subject. This way, the power goes to you to change the direction. If you do nothing, you lose control to try to stop the divorce.
These tips have helped me save my troubled marriage.
Once I understood these critical things that set me on the right path. That track stopped my divorce - it will stop yours too, if you take the right steps.
I had such a troubled marriage that I thought there was no hope at all for reconciliation.
But today, I am still with my husband - I saved my marriage
Maggie Marshall
When things were heading south (to a divorce), I tried everything. I cried, I begged him not to leave, I acted like I didn't care - nothing worked. But - I had to do something to stop this divorce, I was desperate.
Time went on and things became worse. My spouse was barely home anymore (starting his new life, I assume) - I was waiting with dread for the divorce papers. I was so despondent but didn't know what to do.
Fast forward to today - we didn't end up getting a divorce. We have worked things out - our marriage is stronger than ever and we are more in love with each other than we have ever been.
Here's a tip. Don't ever beg your spouse. People always want what they can't get. What does this mean for a troubled marriage? "The more you try to show that you want someone, the less that he or she is going to want you". Do not beg to stop your divorce.
Should you talk about divorce? Well, this is different. Getting a divorce is an awful thing for all involved (even the person who wants the divorce). Even if nobody has mentioned a divorce, it doesn't mean that it isn't on both of your minds. It's kind of like the elephant in the room. If things look like they are headed in that direction anyway, you should be the one to take charge and bring up the subject. This way, the power goes to you to change the direction. If you do nothing, you lose control to try to stop the divorce.
These tips have helped me save my troubled marriage.
Once I understood these critical things that set me on the right path. That track stopped my divorce - it will stop yours too, if you take the right steps.
I had such a troubled marriage that I thought there was no hope at all for reconciliation.
But today, I am still with my husband - I saved my marriage
Maggie Marshall
To Save Your Marriage Before the Apple-Cart Tilts
Before you try to save your marriage, you ought to know why it failed in the first place. Most of us make the mistake of presuming that marital bliss is permanent. Especially when we have loved and married the person of our choice, things can never go wrong. But more often than not it does. We think the spark that we saw during the courtship days would remain forever. It never does. People change and so do their priorities, likes and dislikes. Unless you adapt to the changing situation, you are bound to clash with the new developments in your life.
All of us think that we are right and the other person is wrong. Spouse wanted space and you gave it. Spouse wanted a vacation and you acceded and so on. Despite making all the necessary 'compromises' and adjustments all the way, why does it have to be that one fine day you find that there are serious cracks in your marriage? Most of us get quite overwhelmed when a steady situation shows signs of imbalance. When the apple-cart tilts, we get nervous because we do now know how to manage change. So in a bid to save your marriage, you end up making some serious errors in judgment which further ruin your chances to save your marriage and worsens the all-ready sad situation. Here are some tips to save your marriage and how to avoid making those critical errors:
• You are already aware of the cracks in your marriage and one day your spouse announces his or her desire to end this agony. What is your first reaction? Anger, frustration, denial, aggression, tears? While these outbursts may be common when someone is pushed against the wall, it can never help to save your marriage. On the contrary, you need to be calm and collected and instead of reacting immaturely, take time to think more rationally about the steps you have to take to save your marriage. Crying, pleading or throwing tantrums never take anyone anywhere. You are simply pushing your spouse to follow his or her decision.
• To save your marriage, put an end to your endless stream of thoughts hovering around reasons why your marriage failed. Stop presuming for a change. Get the facts right - is there anyone else? Has the environment in the home got anything to do with it? Is your sex life satisfying? Who knows, with introspection, there could be several skeletons popping out of the in the cupboard? There could be issues with you, which need improvement or correction? Spend time to answer such questions before you try to pass on the blame on someone or something else.
• To save your marriage, it pays to remain hopeful and develop a positive attitude. Remember if you ask for doom, it would come. On the contrary, if you pin your hopes on all that went right, on all the reasons that kept you together for so long, focus on those strength areas and develop them further. There is no point in being fatalistic or pessimistic about the future. To save your marriage, you might need to take some harsh decisions, give up on some old habits and learn to bend more than you are used to.
• A marriage is about a relationship between two people. Therefore to save your marriage, nothing can be achieved single-handedly. You need the support and cooperation of your spouse all the way. And the only way you can involve your spouse in the process to save your marriage, is to have a frank and open discussion about your intentions. Ask his or her opinion about what could be the problem areas and work jointly so that the solution is mutually acceptable. It is futile to take unilateral decisions, even if they are made with all good intentions. To save your marriage is likewise a joint decision.
Why is saving your marriage so important to you?
Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions... especially marriage! We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.
Losing a spouse is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.
But don't give up on the love of your life yet. There is still hope! You can reverse deterioration of your marriage and successfully reconnect with your spouse. Use my professional and personal experience to learn how you can bring the passion back into your marriage
Emma Audley
All of us think that we are right and the other person is wrong. Spouse wanted space and you gave it. Spouse wanted a vacation and you acceded and so on. Despite making all the necessary 'compromises' and adjustments all the way, why does it have to be that one fine day you find that there are serious cracks in your marriage? Most of us get quite overwhelmed when a steady situation shows signs of imbalance. When the apple-cart tilts, we get nervous because we do now know how to manage change. So in a bid to save your marriage, you end up making some serious errors in judgment which further ruin your chances to save your marriage and worsens the all-ready sad situation. Here are some tips to save your marriage and how to avoid making those critical errors:
• You are already aware of the cracks in your marriage and one day your spouse announces his or her desire to end this agony. What is your first reaction? Anger, frustration, denial, aggression, tears? While these outbursts may be common when someone is pushed against the wall, it can never help to save your marriage. On the contrary, you need to be calm and collected and instead of reacting immaturely, take time to think more rationally about the steps you have to take to save your marriage. Crying, pleading or throwing tantrums never take anyone anywhere. You are simply pushing your spouse to follow his or her decision.
• To save your marriage, put an end to your endless stream of thoughts hovering around reasons why your marriage failed. Stop presuming for a change. Get the facts right - is there anyone else? Has the environment in the home got anything to do with it? Is your sex life satisfying? Who knows, with introspection, there could be several skeletons popping out of the in the cupboard? There could be issues with you, which need improvement or correction? Spend time to answer such questions before you try to pass on the blame on someone or something else.
• To save your marriage, it pays to remain hopeful and develop a positive attitude. Remember if you ask for doom, it would come. On the contrary, if you pin your hopes on all that went right, on all the reasons that kept you together for so long, focus on those strength areas and develop them further. There is no point in being fatalistic or pessimistic about the future. To save your marriage, you might need to take some harsh decisions, give up on some old habits and learn to bend more than you are used to.
• A marriage is about a relationship between two people. Therefore to save your marriage, nothing can be achieved single-handedly. You need the support and cooperation of your spouse all the way. And the only way you can involve your spouse in the process to save your marriage, is to have a frank and open discussion about your intentions. Ask his or her opinion about what could be the problem areas and work jointly so that the solution is mutually acceptable. It is futile to take unilateral decisions, even if they are made with all good intentions. To save your marriage is likewise a joint decision.
Why is saving your marriage so important to you?
Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions... especially marriage! We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.
Losing a spouse is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.
But don't give up on the love of your life yet. There is still hope! You can reverse deterioration of your marriage and successfully reconnect with your spouse. Use my professional and personal experience to learn how you can bring the passion back into your marriage
Emma Audley
Friday, September 4, 2009
Have You Called Your Mother Lately?
When I worked in the old Bell System, Mother's Day was our largest day of toll revenue (long distance calls). We decided to try to enhance it even more and hired Alabama's legendary coach, Paul "Bear" Bryant to do a commercial for Mother's Day.
He was seated in his office in his crimson sweater to film a commercial that would become legendary. He was supposed to end in that old gravelly voice of his, "Have you called yo mama lately?" He did, but then he paused and went a bit off script. He looked far away as if to Heaven, and wistfully thought out loud, "I sure wish I could."
The old Bell System network could barely handle all the calls home to "mama" after the commercial aired. We had never seen anything like it. Lewis Grizzard wrote about it, and men made speeches about it.
Memories of that commercial made me think of my departed mother and a special Mother's Day, how I wish I could call her, and what I would say if she asked, "Son, I hear you say you want to serve Christ, but if they arrested you for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"
Many years ago, my mother rode the bus from her home near Tupelo, Miss. to visit me in Georgia. My 5-foot-3-inch, gray-haired little tornado had a layover in Atlanta. The neighborhood near the bus station had fallen on hard times, and a few unsavory characters lurked nearby. Mother's eyes fell upon a young girl of about 12 or 13 sitting across the station alone. Her eyes darted to and fro. She looked scared, and she had runaway written in the strain of her young face.
A stereotypical pimp suddenly appeared and began to circle the girl like a vulture. They trolled such places for runaways who were desperate and vulnerable, fresh recruits for the mean streets of the inner city. The 6-foot-4 predator began to talk to the girl. "Are you hungry baby? I'll feed you. Do you need a place to stay tonight? I'll put you up at my place." And, of course, the rest of the story is all too familiar. The girl would be out on the streets and likely dead by her 20s from street violence, drug overdose or AIDS.
My petite Mom looked around and everyone's eyes were averted, looking at the floor. No one wanted to get involved, the curse of our times. Mother stood up, marched defiantly to the girl, forced herself between the towering pimp and the scared little rabbit, and said, "C'mon honey, you are going to sit with me!" Then she gave the pimp "The Look." It was the look my brother and I avoided like the plague growing up. It was like looking down Dirty Harry's .44 magnum and hearing him say, "Go ahead, make my day!" He withered under her glare, and Mother robbed him of his prey. She took the young girl with her, and they talked. Mother bought her a bus ticket home to Louisiana.
That little girl will never know who that angel was who came into her life and saved her. There were no crowds applauding, no plaques to be given out. Mother was alone with her conscience and her God and displayed what real character is all about: doing the right thing when no one is watching.
On Mother's Day in 2003 as I came home, I thought of that day in Atlanta and many others like it where Mother modeled the code she lived by. Mother had fallen on Christmas Eve while going to work at age 84. She remained a personal care giver for the elderly and the terminally ill and would still today had her own strong body not finally betrayed her unbreakable spirit and will. She suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and we spent Christmas and New Year's in the hospital trying to relieve the damage to her precious hard head we credited with her survival.
She began to recover from her fall and was determined to show her mettle, the stuff that strong women of her generation seemed to have in abundance. She called just before Mother's Day and said something was wrong, and we were soon to find out why she really fell and what they had missed at Christmas.
Mother and I went to the doctors prepared. We arrived with a detailed list of symptoms and pertinent data to enable him to see this patient, not as an old lady to be dismissed with the usual prescription for painkillers, but a person suffering from a serious ailment.
The young doctor was not jaded and was very aggressive and after some x-rays, he told us that he thought Mother's cancer had returned. It had been 16 years since her mastectomy, but he felt that was it was cancer based on the pictures. Something about that word, cancer, that implies something evil and invasive, not like a failing heart or liver, but something dark and sinister.
The test confirmed the worst: stage 4, inoperable. We made the rounds of the specialists, drawing fluid from her chest, listening to the pros and cons, and finally enough was enough, and we opted for the hospice program. I agreed to stay with Mother as her primary care-giver, and it was the most difficult, trying thing I have ever done. The time with her was also a gift from God.
I would like to say that Mother imparted great wisdom and insights to me, but she had already done that through her many examples of courage and character like the time in Atlanta. The 11 weeks I spent with her did yield precious memories of days gone by, people gone but not forgotten, a sense of who the people I came from really were and priceless moments saying nothing more than "that peach tasted delicious," or "that back rub was wonderful," and "I love you, son."
Just before the end, it seemed the animals of the forests began to gather round her house on the edge of her ancient forest. The birds she fed came in an abundance of colors, songbirds sang at our windows and peered in at the woman who cared for them. Rabbits munched on her daylilies at our front door and refused to run away when approached. Even a pair of elusive fox came up at dusk as the Whippoorwill's call echoed through the hollows of Temple Grove.
Mother looked at me, and said, "Son, do you hear the birds singing?" "Yes, I do," I answered. "No," she said, as she clutched her Bible, "I mean the one who answered me during my prayers?" Not long after that, Mother was gone, her pain relieved, and with a look on her face that suggested she knew something that we did not, but one day would.
Have you called your Mama lately?
Merle Temple
He was seated in his office in his crimson sweater to film a commercial that would become legendary. He was supposed to end in that old gravelly voice of his, "Have you called yo mama lately?" He did, but then he paused and went a bit off script. He looked far away as if to Heaven, and wistfully thought out loud, "I sure wish I could."
The old Bell System network could barely handle all the calls home to "mama" after the commercial aired. We had never seen anything like it. Lewis Grizzard wrote about it, and men made speeches about it.
Memories of that commercial made me think of my departed mother and a special Mother's Day, how I wish I could call her, and what I would say if she asked, "Son, I hear you say you want to serve Christ, but if they arrested you for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?"
Many years ago, my mother rode the bus from her home near Tupelo, Miss. to visit me in Georgia. My 5-foot-3-inch, gray-haired little tornado had a layover in Atlanta. The neighborhood near the bus station had fallen on hard times, and a few unsavory characters lurked nearby. Mother's eyes fell upon a young girl of about 12 or 13 sitting across the station alone. Her eyes darted to and fro. She looked scared, and she had runaway written in the strain of her young face.
A stereotypical pimp suddenly appeared and began to circle the girl like a vulture. They trolled such places for runaways who were desperate and vulnerable, fresh recruits for the mean streets of the inner city. The 6-foot-4 predator began to talk to the girl. "Are you hungry baby? I'll feed you. Do you need a place to stay tonight? I'll put you up at my place." And, of course, the rest of the story is all too familiar. The girl would be out on the streets and likely dead by her 20s from street violence, drug overdose or AIDS.
My petite Mom looked around and everyone's eyes were averted, looking at the floor. No one wanted to get involved, the curse of our times. Mother stood up, marched defiantly to the girl, forced herself between the towering pimp and the scared little rabbit, and said, "C'mon honey, you are going to sit with me!" Then she gave the pimp "The Look." It was the look my brother and I avoided like the plague growing up. It was like looking down Dirty Harry's .44 magnum and hearing him say, "Go ahead, make my day!" He withered under her glare, and Mother robbed him of his prey. She took the young girl with her, and they talked. Mother bought her a bus ticket home to Louisiana.
That little girl will never know who that angel was who came into her life and saved her. There were no crowds applauding, no plaques to be given out. Mother was alone with her conscience and her God and displayed what real character is all about: doing the right thing when no one is watching.
On Mother's Day in 2003 as I came home, I thought of that day in Atlanta and many others like it where Mother modeled the code she lived by. Mother had fallen on Christmas Eve while going to work at age 84. She remained a personal care giver for the elderly and the terminally ill and would still today had her own strong body not finally betrayed her unbreakable spirit and will. She suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and we spent Christmas and New Year's in the hospital trying to relieve the damage to her precious hard head we credited with her survival.
She began to recover from her fall and was determined to show her mettle, the stuff that strong women of her generation seemed to have in abundance. She called just before Mother's Day and said something was wrong, and we were soon to find out why she really fell and what they had missed at Christmas.
Mother and I went to the doctors prepared. We arrived with a detailed list of symptoms and pertinent data to enable him to see this patient, not as an old lady to be dismissed with the usual prescription for painkillers, but a person suffering from a serious ailment.
The young doctor was not jaded and was very aggressive and after some x-rays, he told us that he thought Mother's cancer had returned. It had been 16 years since her mastectomy, but he felt that was it was cancer based on the pictures. Something about that word, cancer, that implies something evil and invasive, not like a failing heart or liver, but something dark and sinister.
The test confirmed the worst: stage 4, inoperable. We made the rounds of the specialists, drawing fluid from her chest, listening to the pros and cons, and finally enough was enough, and we opted for the hospice program. I agreed to stay with Mother as her primary care-giver, and it was the most difficult, trying thing I have ever done. The time with her was also a gift from God.
I would like to say that Mother imparted great wisdom and insights to me, but she had already done that through her many examples of courage and character like the time in Atlanta. The 11 weeks I spent with her did yield precious memories of days gone by, people gone but not forgotten, a sense of who the people I came from really were and priceless moments saying nothing more than "that peach tasted delicious," or "that back rub was wonderful," and "I love you, son."
Just before the end, it seemed the animals of the forests began to gather round her house on the edge of her ancient forest. The birds she fed came in an abundance of colors, songbirds sang at our windows and peered in at the woman who cared for them. Rabbits munched on her daylilies at our front door and refused to run away when approached. Even a pair of elusive fox came up at dusk as the Whippoorwill's call echoed through the hollows of Temple Grove.
Mother looked at me, and said, "Son, do you hear the birds singing?" "Yes, I do," I answered. "No," she said, as she clutched her Bible, "I mean the one who answered me during my prayers?" Not long after that, Mother was gone, her pain relieved, and with a look on her face that suggested she knew something that we did not, but one day would.
Have you called your Mama lately?
Merle Temple
Great Relationship Advice For Building a Strong Foundation
You've found your perfect partner and you want to find ways so you don't mess it up. Looking for tips at this stage is a great sign. For a fresh new relationship, getting advice on how to build a solid foundation will have a massive impact on your future together.
Be Your Real Self
Spending the initial months acting as someone your not is a complete waste of time, as in reality your partner won't know the real you. At the beginning of your relationship you should take it slowly. One of the fastest ways to kill a budding relationship is to jump into bed too soon or live like you're attached at the hip. No matter how crazy you are about each other, try not to spend every waking minute together. Take some timeout to spend with your friends and yourself. This will create some mystery and will help to keep your feet on the ground.
Maintain a friendship
Ultimately, friendship is the foundation of any happy, long-term relationship. Friendship will help to get you over the bumps in the road. Usually once we have been around another person for awhile we tend to take them for granted and nitpick their behavior. Don't fall into that trap. Even when you disagree, you need to treat your partner the same respect you'd show any other close friend.
Handle Conflict
While it may not be very comfortable, conflict is not only inevitable, it's also an opportunity for growth. Handling disagreements in a new way could reveal better ways of doing things.
The trick is not to let irritations build up. If something your partner does seriously bothers you, bring it up with kindness and gentleness. If may be easier to solve than you expect. Letting issues brew is a recipe for disaster. Learning new techniques and skills in communication is really important to keep your new relationship moving forward.
Learn new skills to make your relationship work
If you've found your true love. You should look at resources that teach you new skills that will allow you to have a successful partnership. Sure, no two relationships are the same, but the ones that last do have certain things in common.
Starting a new relationship isn't always easy but by starting off with the right tools it will enable you to build a strong base on which long term commitment depends on. The right advice at the beginning of your relationship will start you off on the path to success.
Tracey Todd
Be Your Real Self
Spending the initial months acting as someone your not is a complete waste of time, as in reality your partner won't know the real you. At the beginning of your relationship you should take it slowly. One of the fastest ways to kill a budding relationship is to jump into bed too soon or live like you're attached at the hip. No matter how crazy you are about each other, try not to spend every waking minute together. Take some timeout to spend with your friends and yourself. This will create some mystery and will help to keep your feet on the ground.
Maintain a friendship
Ultimately, friendship is the foundation of any happy, long-term relationship. Friendship will help to get you over the bumps in the road. Usually once we have been around another person for awhile we tend to take them for granted and nitpick their behavior. Don't fall into that trap. Even when you disagree, you need to treat your partner the same respect you'd show any other close friend.
Handle Conflict
While it may not be very comfortable, conflict is not only inevitable, it's also an opportunity for growth. Handling disagreements in a new way could reveal better ways of doing things.
The trick is not to let irritations build up. If something your partner does seriously bothers you, bring it up with kindness and gentleness. If may be easier to solve than you expect. Letting issues brew is a recipe for disaster. Learning new techniques and skills in communication is really important to keep your new relationship moving forward.
Learn new skills to make your relationship work
If you've found your true love. You should look at resources that teach you new skills that will allow you to have a successful partnership. Sure, no two relationships are the same, but the ones that last do have certain things in common.
Starting a new relationship isn't always easy but by starting off with the right tools it will enable you to build a strong base on which long term commitment depends on. The right advice at the beginning of your relationship will start you off on the path to success.
Tracey Todd
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Falling in Love With Your Best Friend? Can Friends Be Lovers?
What should you do if you find yourself falling in love with your best friend? Can a platonic friendship turn into a love relationship? Would you like some advice on how to make that guy your boyfriend? Following are some good bits of information to keep in mind if you suddenly find yourself in love with your best friend.
Slowly but noticeably change your relationship. You don't want to start throwing out romantic innuendoes right away, but you could become more involved with him and his activities. Let him see that you are attempting to spend more of your free time with him and that you really enjoy his company. He will get used to you being around for all of his good times also, and will realize that he misses you if you're not.
Make a conscious effort at this point to distance yourself from being one of the guys. Although that is how it's always been, you will need to change this if you are now falling in love with your best friend. You want him to look at you differently and this will be slightly awkward in the beginning, but worth it. Once again, you'll have to move gradually so as not to leave him shaking his head in disbelief as though he has no idea who you are anymore. He will begin to fall in line with your actions without even realizing it.
Now is the time to start flirting with him. This will also be a little awkward, but it will definitely be worth the effort. Practice subtlety as you do not want to scare him away with changes that may be too drastic. Add a little sensuality to your wardrobe and try to touch him for no reason at all. You can believe that he will notice and will be flattered as long as you don't go overboard.
Falling in love with your best friend can be a fabulous beginning. You already know each other's likes and dislikes, each other's temperament, and are reassured that you can always count on each other. The advantages are many, so follow this advice and you will get what you are hoping for.
Tina Jones
Slowly but noticeably change your relationship. You don't want to start throwing out romantic innuendoes right away, but you could become more involved with him and his activities. Let him see that you are attempting to spend more of your free time with him and that you really enjoy his company. He will get used to you being around for all of his good times also, and will realize that he misses you if you're not.
Make a conscious effort at this point to distance yourself from being one of the guys. Although that is how it's always been, you will need to change this if you are now falling in love with your best friend. You want him to look at you differently and this will be slightly awkward in the beginning, but worth it. Once again, you'll have to move gradually so as not to leave him shaking his head in disbelief as though he has no idea who you are anymore. He will begin to fall in line with your actions without even realizing it.
Now is the time to start flirting with him. This will also be a little awkward, but it will definitely be worth the effort. Practice subtlety as you do not want to scare him away with changes that may be too drastic. Add a little sensuality to your wardrobe and try to touch him for no reason at all. You can believe that he will notice and will be flattered as long as you don't go overboard.
Falling in love with your best friend can be a fabulous beginning. You already know each other's likes and dislikes, each other's temperament, and are reassured that you can always count on each other. The advantages are many, so follow this advice and you will get what you are hoping for.
Tina Jones
Is it Lust Or Love? Find Out How to Capture a Guy's Heart
Are you hoping to capture a guy's heart at long last? Are there really things that you can do to make him fall in love? Do you want to be more than his latest date? All you need to do to change how he thinks about you is to follow this surefire advice on how to capture a guy's heart and make him fall madly in love!
Connect With His Mind
You need to have brain sex with your guy long before you actually sleep with him. Stimulate his mind, find out what he's made of. Talk to him, build up a genuine friendship. Find out what you have in common and start to do these things together as a couple, or maybe within a group of friends. If he likes a certain author, read a couple of that author's books and discuss them with him. Let him know there's more to you than just a pretty face.
Build Respect For Each Other
Leading on from connecting with his mind, start to build a healthy respect for one another's views and opinions. Find something about him that you truly admire and let him know it! Ask for his opinion on important issues in your life and let him offer you guidance even if you think you know it all anyway. There is always something more to learn.
Abstain From Sex
For the short term at least, keep your relationship non-sexual. Flirt with the guy, let him know you find him sexually attractive, just don't go all the way too soon. Your relationship will be stronger for it in the long run. If you're not having sex, you'll be sure that it's love, not lust, that helped you to capture this guy's heart.
Tina L jones
Connect With His Mind
You need to have brain sex with your guy long before you actually sleep with him. Stimulate his mind, find out what he's made of. Talk to him, build up a genuine friendship. Find out what you have in common and start to do these things together as a couple, or maybe within a group of friends. If he likes a certain author, read a couple of that author's books and discuss them with him. Let him know there's more to you than just a pretty face.
Build Respect For Each Other
Leading on from connecting with his mind, start to build a healthy respect for one another's views and opinions. Find something about him that you truly admire and let him know it! Ask for his opinion on important issues in your life and let him offer you guidance even if you think you know it all anyway. There is always something more to learn.
Abstain From Sex
For the short term at least, keep your relationship non-sexual. Flirt with the guy, let him know you find him sexually attractive, just don't go all the way too soon. Your relationship will be stronger for it in the long run. If you're not having sex, you'll be sure that it's love, not lust, that helped you to capture this guy's heart.
Tina L jones
How to Resolve Communication Problems in Relationships and Marriage
Communication problems in relationships and marriage can crop up at any time. No matter how in love you both are, miscommunication can happen.
Male Vs Female Logic
Neither men or women are absolutely logical. Making an effort to understand how the opposite gender looks at marriage and relationships, will help avoid many problems in them.
Active Listening
Both of you are one half of the communication problem. You may feel like you know what your partner is going to say, that you finish one another's sentences. But much is gained by hearing your partner out . You can restate what you have heard to make sure it is correct. This shows your loved one respect.
Not The Blame Game
It is best to work things out peacefully, and that means avoiding blaming one another. Focus on resolving, rather than blaming. Make sure you state your case in specifics. "You make me unhappy" gives no clue how to change the situation. "I feel upset when you look at other women's (add body part)" is more specific, and therefore more workable.
Prove It!
When you are discussing problems in relationships and marriage, make sure you can prove what you say. This relates back to specifics also: "You disrespected me in front of our friends" is too vague. Respect or disrespect is subjective, and standards differ. However, "I was embarrassed when you told Tony I wouldn't get the job" shows exactly what you mean.
Honesty With Kindness
If you don't discuss communication problems in relationships and marriage then the problems will ultimately destroy them. So talk about problems and issues as they arise, but do so kindly. If you are gentle and respectful you will find solutions.
Probably your partner doesn't want to hurt you, they want your relationship or marriage to grow and mature. They may be upset that you are unhappy but if you approach them as you would like them to approach you, then you can deal with communication problems in relationships and marriage easily and completely.
When Sara came to me with communication problems in her relationship, then this is part of the advice that I gave her. She and her partner Terry put this advice to work in their marriage, and now they tell me they are happier than ever.
Both of their children seem to be more settled too, because they have learned to actively listen to one another, and there is less shouting in their home
Elizabeth Fitz
Male Vs Female Logic
Neither men or women are absolutely logical. Making an effort to understand how the opposite gender looks at marriage and relationships, will help avoid many problems in them.
Active Listening
Both of you are one half of the communication problem. You may feel like you know what your partner is going to say, that you finish one another's sentences. But much is gained by hearing your partner out . You can restate what you have heard to make sure it is correct. This shows your loved one respect.
Not The Blame Game
It is best to work things out peacefully, and that means avoiding blaming one another. Focus on resolving, rather than blaming. Make sure you state your case in specifics. "You make me unhappy" gives no clue how to change the situation. "I feel upset when you look at other women's (add body part)" is more specific, and therefore more workable.
Prove It!
When you are discussing problems in relationships and marriage, make sure you can prove what you say. This relates back to specifics also: "You disrespected me in front of our friends" is too vague. Respect or disrespect is subjective, and standards differ. However, "I was embarrassed when you told Tony I wouldn't get the job" shows exactly what you mean.
Honesty With Kindness
If you don't discuss communication problems in relationships and marriage then the problems will ultimately destroy them. So talk about problems and issues as they arise, but do so kindly. If you are gentle and respectful you will find solutions.
Probably your partner doesn't want to hurt you, they want your relationship or marriage to grow and mature. They may be upset that you are unhappy but if you approach them as you would like them to approach you, then you can deal with communication problems in relationships and marriage easily and completely.
When Sara came to me with communication problems in her relationship, then this is part of the advice that I gave her. She and her partner Terry put this advice to work in their marriage, and now they tell me they are happier than ever.
Both of their children seem to be more settled too, because they have learned to actively listen to one another, and there is less shouting in their home
Elizabeth Fitz
Three Keys to Better Relationships
Do you wish you could improve your relationships with family members and friends? Who wouldn't want to do that? The good news is that it can be done. Let's take a look at three ways you can get along better with anyone.
God's Word has a lot to say about relating to others, and some of the best principles are found in James 1:19. In the New King James Version, that verse reads, "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
1.) Notice first that you should be "quick to hear." That sounds easy, but you know it's not. Our society and our educational system teaches us how to express ourselves. We're taught how to get our point across. But we are not taught how to listen to other people. How often do you really listen to your loved ones and friends? If you're like me, you're too busy thinking about what you want to say. You pretend to be listening to your friend, but your mind is elsewhere. So how do you begin to really listen to the other person? Three quick suggestions. Develop a genuine interest in other people. Be curious about them. Don't be so focused on yourself all the time that you forget to be interested in what interests them. Maintain proper eye contact with the other person in the conversation. You shouldn't stare, but nor should you be looking all over the room and watching other people while your friend is talking to you. And be accepting of your friend's views. You don't have to turn every conversation into a debate. That often generates tension. You can listen to your friend's opinion without giving up your own convictions. Lighten up a bit!
2.) Notice second that the verse tells you to be "slow to speak." It's pretty hard for your friend or family member to open up to you if you are talking so much that they don't get a chance to speak. Go ahead and share your thoughts, but pause once in a while and give the other person time to speak. You may have to wait for several seconds before the other person opens up, but force yourself to wait. Silence is not your enemy in a conversation.
3.) The author of this passage of Scripture left the hardest part for last. He says you should be "slow to anger." Now, some of you have a short fuse and some of you have one that's a bit longer. Either way, getting angry in relationships never produces anything good. As James says, "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I don't have some kind of magic pill to give you to help you keep from getting angry. All I can do is encourage you to pray that God would curb your anger and fill your heart with His love and compassion for people. Nothing stops communication in my home quicker than when I lose my temper and get angry. You and I will never totally conquer sinful anger in our lives. Of course, there are times when it is proper to be angry; like when you see evil being done to other people, but there is also a negative, relationship-killing anger that we must resist. I've found that cultivating a genuine love for and interest in other people helps me avoid some of the anger that I might have otherwise expressed.
Well, that is a quick summary of three principles that will help you get along better with everyone you meet. Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger! These principles take time to apply, but it is worth the effort.
Glen Averil
God's Word has a lot to say about relating to others, and some of the best principles are found in James 1:19. In the New King James Version, that verse reads, "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
1.) Notice first that you should be "quick to hear." That sounds easy, but you know it's not. Our society and our educational system teaches us how to express ourselves. We're taught how to get our point across. But we are not taught how to listen to other people. How often do you really listen to your loved ones and friends? If you're like me, you're too busy thinking about what you want to say. You pretend to be listening to your friend, but your mind is elsewhere. So how do you begin to really listen to the other person? Three quick suggestions. Develop a genuine interest in other people. Be curious about them. Don't be so focused on yourself all the time that you forget to be interested in what interests them. Maintain proper eye contact with the other person in the conversation. You shouldn't stare, but nor should you be looking all over the room and watching other people while your friend is talking to you. And be accepting of your friend's views. You don't have to turn every conversation into a debate. That often generates tension. You can listen to your friend's opinion without giving up your own convictions. Lighten up a bit!
2.) Notice second that the verse tells you to be "slow to speak." It's pretty hard for your friend or family member to open up to you if you are talking so much that they don't get a chance to speak. Go ahead and share your thoughts, but pause once in a while and give the other person time to speak. You may have to wait for several seconds before the other person opens up, but force yourself to wait. Silence is not your enemy in a conversation.
3.) The author of this passage of Scripture left the hardest part for last. He says you should be "slow to anger." Now, some of you have a short fuse and some of you have one that's a bit longer. Either way, getting angry in relationships never produces anything good. As James says, "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." I don't have some kind of magic pill to give you to help you keep from getting angry. All I can do is encourage you to pray that God would curb your anger and fill your heart with His love and compassion for people. Nothing stops communication in my home quicker than when I lose my temper and get angry. You and I will never totally conquer sinful anger in our lives. Of course, there are times when it is proper to be angry; like when you see evil being done to other people, but there is also a negative, relationship-killing anger that we must resist. I've found that cultivating a genuine love for and interest in other people helps me avoid some of the anger that I might have otherwise expressed.
Well, that is a quick summary of three principles that will help you get along better with everyone you meet. Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger! These principles take time to apply, but it is worth the effort.
Glen Averil
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