Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How to Resolve Communication Problems in Relationships and Marriage

Communication problems in relationships and marriage can crop up at any time. No matter how in love you both are, miscommunication can happen.
Male Vs Female Logic
Neither men or women are absolutely logical. Making an effort to understand how the opposite gender looks at marriage and relationships, will help avoid many problems in them.
Active Listening
Both of you are one half of the communication problem. You may feel like you know what your partner is going to say, that you finish one another's sentences. But much is gained by hearing your partner out . You can restate what you have heard to make sure it is correct. This shows your loved one respect.
Not The Blame Game
It is best to work things out peacefully, and that means avoiding blaming one another. Focus on resolving, rather than blaming. Make sure you state your case in specifics. "You make me unhappy" gives no clue how to change the situation. "I feel upset when you look at other women's (add body part)" is more specific, and therefore more workable.
Prove It!
When you are discussing problems in relationships and marriage, make sure you can prove what you say. This relates back to specifics also: "You disrespected me in front of our friends" is too vague. Respect or disrespect is subjective, and standards differ. However, "I was embarrassed when you told Tony I wouldn't get the job" shows exactly what you mean.
Honesty With Kindness
If you don't discuss communication problems in relationships and marriage then the problems will ultimately destroy them. So talk about problems and issues as they arise, but do so kindly. If you are gentle and respectful you will find solutions.
Probably your partner doesn't want to hurt you, they want your relationship or marriage to grow and mature. They may be upset that you are unhappy but if you approach them as you would like them to approach you, then you can deal with communication problems in relationships and marriage easily and completely.
When Sara came to me with communication problems in her relationship, then this is part of the advice that I gave her. She and her partner Terry put this advice to work in their marriage, and now they tell me they are happier than ever.
Both of their children seem to be more settled too, because they have learned to actively listen to one another, and there is less shouting in their home

Elizabeth Fitz

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