It's not easy to win love back because our hearts tell us the wrong things. For example, when a girl breaks up with a boy, the first thing he wants to do is go after her and get her back. Sometimes chasing is better than the catch, it's exciting. It's in a mans nature to hunt. This is usually means downfall, when a woman simply wants some space and he keeps chasing, it does more damage than good.Although it can be hard for men to realise this, sometimes it can be the only way to get your ex back. What I mean by this is that when someone you love leaves you, any actions you take could seriously effect your chance of getting them back.For example, chasing still counts if you are texting or phoning them.
If you are a man then you know how much woman talk. Because of this woman need to feel like they have closed the relationship. But, let her initiate this call. By doing it this way you avoid coming across as needy. As a result this gives you a great start.
Now, you may be wondering if this will show her that you don't care. Allowing her the space she needs sets you up very well indeed for getting her back.
Sometimes woman make a big deal out of nothing just so they get their point across. It just so happens that the way they tend to do this is by breaking up with you. But, if she is in love with you, she doesn't really mean this. What she's really saying is "let me have some time to process what just went on."
If you have done something to hurt her, you need to be contrite when she calls you. Explain to her how much you appreciate her and value your relationship. But you need to give her the space she needs to process the hurt.
It's quite common for woman to do this just for the attention. Finding yourself in this scenario is difficult but you need to take control and let her know that you wont put up with hell raising just for the sake of it. The easiest way to avoid this situation is just to ignore it. And that means not to chase her every time she goes away.
There are many reasons that women walk away from you and tell you that they never want to see you again. Sometimes they are hurt and sometimes they are just trying to be manipulative. In either case, you don't want to be the first one to call because that puts you in the position of being desperate.
Instead, let her call you. By doing it this way it gives you the control not her. Be sympathetic to her needs, but don't put up with any bull. This is the first steps to getting your loved one back.
John Bead
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Five Wise Ways to Save Your Marriage
There are many things that couples can do to save their marriage. Although circumstances for each marriage are different, what I'm going to discuss in this article applies to every marriage.
1. Be Willing To Work on Your Marriage
Couples need to be willing to pick up the pieces and work with their spouse. Humble yourselves to each other. So many times couples blame one another for the disarray of the marriage because they are hurting inside. No one wants to feel hurt, pain and suffering. But what happens when we don't even try to forgive? The broken pieces of the marriage remain on the floor!
If no one is willing to pick up the pieces the marriage will remain broken. Negative emotions, past baggage, guilt and vulnerability will be carried with you into the next marriage or relationship. Don't think that remarriage is going to make you happy or solve your problems. That's not reality. The reality is you can pick up the pieces and resolve your martial problems and be a better marriage partner because of it.
2. Change Attitude From "Don't Care" to Committed
So how do you change an attitude from "don't care" to committed? You just do it. Understand that you probably walked into the marriage with non-commitment, even though your feelings told you otherwise. This day and age, many of us have not been taught the value of marriage and many of us don't really know what the bible says about marriage. This "don't care" attitude about the sanctity of marriage is what is killing marriages and families. What does God say about marriage? God says marriage is for a lifetime.
3. Forgive and Encourage Daily
Realize it's not just the big things that need forgiveness, but the everyday small things too. Forgiveness works very closely with acceptance. In marriage couples need to accept and tolerate the person they married. Forgive your husband for leaving the toilet seat up and watching too much television. Forgive your wife for not being a good cook or house cleaner. Do these small things really mean an end to the marriage?
We all have areas that need improved on. The best way to improve on ourselves is to encourage each other. Does that seem backwards to you? It is not backwards when you look at the big picture. When you encourage the person you married, you will be lifting them up in spirit, and in turn, they will see the positive aspects in you and do the same. Couples absolutely need to encourage one another every day. Instead of finding fault and bringing each other down, find the good in one another and bring each other up.
4. Appreciate Each Other More
This area in marriage is greatly lacking. Do you want to know why? Some of us take our marriage and everything in it for granted. Some of us never stop to think about all that our spouse does for us. Do we expect too much from the person we married. We somehow think that if only they would do this, or change to be like that, then we would be happy. But this kind of thinking is not reality, is it?
Stop and notice your marriage. When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciate them for all they do? Don't let the doldrums of marriage make you emotionally lazy. Show your appreciation in acts of kindness and love every single day of your marriage.
5. Realize Who The Creator of Marriage Is
Jesus Christ has already laid out the architectural design for a Christian marriage. He has given us the wisdom and the knowledge to live marriage God's way! If we manage our marriage under our own understanding it will have difficulties and possibly fail. We absolutely have to put God first so we can understand how to love the person we married in the ways of Christ. God is the Master Architect of marriage and for a happy marriage we need to base our actions on His design.
Angie Lewis
1. Be Willing To Work on Your Marriage
Couples need to be willing to pick up the pieces and work with their spouse. Humble yourselves to each other. So many times couples blame one another for the disarray of the marriage because they are hurting inside. No one wants to feel hurt, pain and suffering. But what happens when we don't even try to forgive? The broken pieces of the marriage remain on the floor!
If no one is willing to pick up the pieces the marriage will remain broken. Negative emotions, past baggage, guilt and vulnerability will be carried with you into the next marriage or relationship. Don't think that remarriage is going to make you happy or solve your problems. That's not reality. The reality is you can pick up the pieces and resolve your martial problems and be a better marriage partner because of it.
2. Change Attitude From "Don't Care" to Committed
So how do you change an attitude from "don't care" to committed? You just do it. Understand that you probably walked into the marriage with non-commitment, even though your feelings told you otherwise. This day and age, many of us have not been taught the value of marriage and many of us don't really know what the bible says about marriage. This "don't care" attitude about the sanctity of marriage is what is killing marriages and families. What does God say about marriage? God says marriage is for a lifetime.
3. Forgive and Encourage Daily
Realize it's not just the big things that need forgiveness, but the everyday small things too. Forgiveness works very closely with acceptance. In marriage couples need to accept and tolerate the person they married. Forgive your husband for leaving the toilet seat up and watching too much television. Forgive your wife for not being a good cook or house cleaner. Do these small things really mean an end to the marriage?
We all have areas that need improved on. The best way to improve on ourselves is to encourage each other. Does that seem backwards to you? It is not backwards when you look at the big picture. When you encourage the person you married, you will be lifting them up in spirit, and in turn, they will see the positive aspects in you and do the same. Couples absolutely need to encourage one another every day. Instead of finding fault and bringing each other down, find the good in one another and bring each other up.
4. Appreciate Each Other More
This area in marriage is greatly lacking. Do you want to know why? Some of us take our marriage and everything in it for granted. Some of us never stop to think about all that our spouse does for us. Do we expect too much from the person we married. We somehow think that if only they would do this, or change to be like that, then we would be happy. But this kind of thinking is not reality, is it?
Stop and notice your marriage. When was the last time you told your spouse how much you appreciate them for all they do? Don't let the doldrums of marriage make you emotionally lazy. Show your appreciation in acts of kindness and love every single day of your marriage.
5. Realize Who The Creator of Marriage Is
Jesus Christ has already laid out the architectural design for a Christian marriage. He has given us the wisdom and the knowledge to live marriage God's way! If we manage our marriage under our own understanding it will have difficulties and possibly fail. We absolutely have to put God first so we can understand how to love the person we married in the ways of Christ. God is the Master Architect of marriage and for a happy marriage we need to base our actions on His design.
Angie Lewis
How to Save Your Relationship - If You Need a Solid Plan Then Read This!
So you are going through a break up? Well it can be tough but there is a way out of this hell and it is not be moping around the house doing nothing. What you need to do at times like this is take action! Action that will allow you to save your relationship!
You may not feel like even getting out of bed in the mornings but this article hopefully will give you a plan to focus on to stay positive and also to work on getting your loved one back to you.
1. Make Contact - The first thing that you need to do if you want to save your relationship is make contact with them. You have to do this in an educated manner! It is no good banging on their door at all hours in the morning, or texting them on their cell phone and not leaving them alone. No to do this properly you should be polite and arrange to meet where both of you feel comfortable. Instead of dinner, plan a light lunch where you too will fell more comfortable.
2. Be Honest And Take The Blows - OK, so you meet up. It is no good holding a grudge or blaming them or yourself for the break up. It has happened and what you should be focused on now is the end result which is getting your lover back. You need to discuss your relationship openly and be honest about what you both want to be able to fix it. Take your time and I know it sounds mad, but relax and enjoy yourselves. Make it clear that you do want to save the relationship.
3. Moving On - Chances are after you have spoken to your partner and they have told you some of their issues you will be a little shocked. You probably had no idea they were so unhappy.
Although tell them that you will pay them more attention and work with them to make the relationship work - it is a cliche but it is a 2 way thing!
If you follow these 3 steps you will be closer to saving your relationship! Good Luck!
Sam Newton
You may not feel like even getting out of bed in the mornings but this article hopefully will give you a plan to focus on to stay positive and also to work on getting your loved one back to you.
1. Make Contact - The first thing that you need to do if you want to save your relationship is make contact with them. You have to do this in an educated manner! It is no good banging on their door at all hours in the morning, or texting them on their cell phone and not leaving them alone. No to do this properly you should be polite and arrange to meet where both of you feel comfortable. Instead of dinner, plan a light lunch where you too will fell more comfortable.
2. Be Honest And Take The Blows - OK, so you meet up. It is no good holding a grudge or blaming them or yourself for the break up. It has happened and what you should be focused on now is the end result which is getting your lover back. You need to discuss your relationship openly and be honest about what you both want to be able to fix it. Take your time and I know it sounds mad, but relax and enjoy yourselves. Make it clear that you do want to save the relationship.
3. Moving On - Chances are after you have spoken to your partner and they have told you some of their issues you will be a little shocked. You probably had no idea they were so unhappy.
Although tell them that you will pay them more attention and work with them to make the relationship work - it is a cliche but it is a 2 way thing!
If you follow these 3 steps you will be closer to saving your relationship! Good Luck!
Sam Newton
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
How Do I Fix My Relationship? - You Need a Game Plan!
It is perfectly normal to experience a crisis in a marriage. This is due to different opinions on certain things that may eventually lead to disagreements. You might be thinking, "How much effort should I spend to try and fix my relationship with my spouse?" The answer is simple: as much as time and effort you and your partner need.
Forgiveness is crucial to a marriage. You should always realize that nobody is perfect and entering into the marriage means accepting the flaws and mistakes of each other. If you always have a "fix my relationship" game plan, then you and your partner should be fine. After saying sorry and apologizing, you should both be able to move on and be ready to hurdle the next set of obstacles.
As much as you would like to depend on your partner most of the time, you should still have time for yourself and not overdo it. You might be thinking "How does this have anything to do with having to fix my relationship?" Well, this opens up a lot of issues altogether. The reason why couples fight is not being able to be there physically and emotionally with each other 24/7. It is okay to support each other during important moments, but at times where you can be independent, take advantage of this. This lessens expecting in the relationship as well.
Take care of each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is one of the "fix my relationship" advice that a lot of marriage counselors preach. Answering to your partners emotional needs only goes to show how important they are to you. Respecting your partners needs also goes to show how much you really love the person.
The last step to help attempt answer the question "How do I fix my relationship?" is to always enjoy each others company. Treat each other as best friends and don't be scared to be crazy and playful around each other to have good clean fun. Troubled marriages often lack the fun factor because life became too serious for both spouses through the course of the marriage.
Daniel coles
Forgiveness is crucial to a marriage. You should always realize that nobody is perfect and entering into the marriage means accepting the flaws and mistakes of each other. If you always have a "fix my relationship" game plan, then you and your partner should be fine. After saying sorry and apologizing, you should both be able to move on and be ready to hurdle the next set of obstacles.
As much as you would like to depend on your partner most of the time, you should still have time for yourself and not overdo it. You might be thinking "How does this have anything to do with having to fix my relationship?" Well, this opens up a lot of issues altogether. The reason why couples fight is not being able to be there physically and emotionally with each other 24/7. It is okay to support each other during important moments, but at times where you can be independent, take advantage of this. This lessens expecting in the relationship as well.
Take care of each other emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is one of the "fix my relationship" advice that a lot of marriage counselors preach. Answering to your partners emotional needs only goes to show how important they are to you. Respecting your partners needs also goes to show how much you really love the person.
The last step to help attempt answer the question "How do I fix my relationship?" is to always enjoy each others company. Treat each other as best friends and don't be scared to be crazy and playful around each other to have good clean fun. Troubled marriages often lack the fun factor because life became too serious for both spouses through the course of the marriage.
Daniel coles
How to Call a Man
Have you ever given your phone number to a gorgeous man hoping that he would call and ask you out? Have you ever spent long hours waiting by the phone wishing it would ring and he would be on the other end of the line? Do you feel bad when he doesn't call you immediately after your date? Don't worry you aren't alone; many women wish they knew how to call a man.
The after effects of a first date can be really nerve wracking because you come home and begin to anticipate his call, hoping that he wants a second date. Remember that some guys prefer not to call straight away, while others do not call at all. It can be tricky calling men, like a guessing game. Should you wait or should you call yourself? If you call first do you look desperate and needy?
Calling a man shouldn't be this difficult. Here are some tips on how to call a man.
At the very start of a relationship, the man should be the one who initiates the calls. Try to avoid calling but if you need to don't sound needy and desperate, keep the call light and fun. Communication is the key to a good relationship but boundaries are important. Calling him to see what he has eaten for dinner, or calling his office just to see if he is there makes you come off not only as needy and desperate but as creepy! He needs his own personal space so remember that.
Don't be too available. Stop picking up every single one of his calls. Let him wait a bit, let him wonder where you are and what your doing. Keep the chase going it will spark his imagination, which is always a good thing to do. But don't neglect him, there is a balance to this, practice and you will find your rhythm.
When you are calling your man, don't spend large amounts of time on the phone. Keep the calls short and sweet. Short calls will encourage more face-to-face meetings, which is what you want. Once you know how to call a man he won't want to be calling you he will want to be seeing you in person.
Tina Jones
The after effects of a first date can be really nerve wracking because you come home and begin to anticipate his call, hoping that he wants a second date. Remember that some guys prefer not to call straight away, while others do not call at all. It can be tricky calling men, like a guessing game. Should you wait or should you call yourself? If you call first do you look desperate and needy?
Calling a man shouldn't be this difficult. Here are some tips on how to call a man.
At the very start of a relationship, the man should be the one who initiates the calls. Try to avoid calling but if you need to don't sound needy and desperate, keep the call light and fun. Communication is the key to a good relationship but boundaries are important. Calling him to see what he has eaten for dinner, or calling his office just to see if he is there makes you come off not only as needy and desperate but as creepy! He needs his own personal space so remember that.
Don't be too available. Stop picking up every single one of his calls. Let him wait a bit, let him wonder where you are and what your doing. Keep the chase going it will spark his imagination, which is always a good thing to do. But don't neglect him, there is a balance to this, practice and you will find your rhythm.
When you are calling your man, don't spend large amounts of time on the phone. Keep the calls short and sweet. Short calls will encourage more face-to-face meetings, which is what you want. Once you know how to call a man he won't want to be calling you he will want to be seeing you in person.
Tina Jones
Communication is Key
I know a number of people in relationships, married and single who all seem to have problems communicating with their significant other. I do believe there is a learning curve when dealing with another person. You have to learn quite a few things about someone in order to effectively communicate with them. I have found couples reading books, seeking counseling and other methods in hopes to better their relationships. But I have to wonder, do we really know what it means to communicate with our significant other. Communication is more than just stating how you feel about a problem or situation. Here are some ways that helped me to be able to communicate effectively with my husband.
Communication is more than talking
The above statement seems silly to say, but do we really understand that. I remember earlier in our relationship as long as I was able to say what I needed to say I felt that I communicated with my husband. But communication is more than just talking. Ask yourself a question. Do I listen to what my partner has to say? At one point I noticed that what I had to say was very important because it was my thoughts and how the situation affected me and once I was able to tell my husband my view I really didn't need to hear anything else. His view may have been different, but I really didn't care to understand it or even entertain it too much because my point was important and most valuable to me. However, I had to realize that his point and view was just as important to him as it was to me. So what do you do? Do you both just allow the other person to state their opinion, view, or point and that's it, you simply just move on? No, because that hasn't solved anything. Each party has to be will to give, entertain, understand, and sometimes adapt or include their partner's ideas. By doing this is doesn't make you less than who you are it just broadens your views and allows you to really understand and see the other person's point.
Pay attention to nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication is very important. In fact most of our communication is non verbal, however, in the midst of an issue, listening to non verbal communication can go out the window. I had to ask myself the following questions in order to see if I was paying attention to all of what my husband was telling me. Do I listen to what my partner didn't say? Do I listen to my partner's body language? What is my body language telling my partner? I found that at times I wasn't listening to his body language. His body language, eyes, hands were giving me cues as to what was making him uncomfortable, when he was confused, or letting me know I was simply crazy and he really doesn't know why I'm so mad. We talk in different ways, with our eyes, hands, the way we stand, and do we take this into consideration when having a discussion? I know I didn't but since then, I learned how to talk to him, he learned how to talk to me, therefore allowing us to better understand each other.
Societal and/or Family Differences
Have you ever wondered why your husband did the things he did or how could he even think in such a way? I did and still do at times over and over again. I have realized that our social and/or family differences play an extremely important part in communication. Gender difference is one of the reasons why we think differently, however there are other factors that play into it as well. My husband is his mother's first child, I'm the baby of my family. That plays a part in how we communicate or how we act towards each other. I come from a big family, it was just him and his brother and mom. Even the environment that we grew up in was different. All of these items play a huge part in the ability to understand where your partner is coming from and how the two of you talk to each other or get your point across.
These are just a few items that we all should take into consideration when communicating with our partner. Some may say I am being passive or giving an excuse for not standing my ground or speaking up. That is not the case at all. There is a way to effectively stand your ground and speak up without having chaos and turmoil in your household. Marriage is about making your household work and depending on what type of environment you want to live. All marriages have ups and downs, but how do you deal with your downs so you can continue to have ups
Felicia Ellis
Communication is more than talking
The above statement seems silly to say, but do we really understand that. I remember earlier in our relationship as long as I was able to say what I needed to say I felt that I communicated with my husband. But communication is more than just talking. Ask yourself a question. Do I listen to what my partner has to say? At one point I noticed that what I had to say was very important because it was my thoughts and how the situation affected me and once I was able to tell my husband my view I really didn't need to hear anything else. His view may have been different, but I really didn't care to understand it or even entertain it too much because my point was important and most valuable to me. However, I had to realize that his point and view was just as important to him as it was to me. So what do you do? Do you both just allow the other person to state their opinion, view, or point and that's it, you simply just move on? No, because that hasn't solved anything. Each party has to be will to give, entertain, understand, and sometimes adapt or include their partner's ideas. By doing this is doesn't make you less than who you are it just broadens your views and allows you to really understand and see the other person's point.
Pay attention to nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication is very important. In fact most of our communication is non verbal, however, in the midst of an issue, listening to non verbal communication can go out the window. I had to ask myself the following questions in order to see if I was paying attention to all of what my husband was telling me. Do I listen to what my partner didn't say? Do I listen to my partner's body language? What is my body language telling my partner? I found that at times I wasn't listening to his body language. His body language, eyes, hands were giving me cues as to what was making him uncomfortable, when he was confused, or letting me know I was simply crazy and he really doesn't know why I'm so mad. We talk in different ways, with our eyes, hands, the way we stand, and do we take this into consideration when having a discussion? I know I didn't but since then, I learned how to talk to him, he learned how to talk to me, therefore allowing us to better understand each other.
Societal and/or Family Differences
Have you ever wondered why your husband did the things he did or how could he even think in such a way? I did and still do at times over and over again. I have realized that our social and/or family differences play an extremely important part in communication. Gender difference is one of the reasons why we think differently, however there are other factors that play into it as well. My husband is his mother's first child, I'm the baby of my family. That plays a part in how we communicate or how we act towards each other. I come from a big family, it was just him and his brother and mom. Even the environment that we grew up in was different. All of these items play a huge part in the ability to understand where your partner is coming from and how the two of you talk to each other or get your point across.
These are just a few items that we all should take into consideration when communicating with our partner. Some may say I am being passive or giving an excuse for not standing my ground or speaking up. That is not the case at all. There is a way to effectively stand your ground and speak up without having chaos and turmoil in your household. Marriage is about making your household work and depending on what type of environment you want to live. All marriages have ups and downs, but how do you deal with your downs so you can continue to have ups
Felicia Ellis
Appreciation and Bonding With People
There are six basic human needs. They are: certainty, uncertainty, connection and love, personal growth, the need to contribute and significance. Each of these needs have to be filled if a person is to feel complete and whole.
Naturally, the need that is most pressing for anyone is the need that it not met. In a great majority of the cases, that unfulfilled need is the need for significance. The needs to feel important, that we matter, that we are somebody. People will go to any length to fill that need. And, if we can help people to fulfill that need, not only will it make us feel good, it can also create very strong bonds of friendship and goodwill.
Now, before another word is said about how we can benefit by helping someone else to fulfill a need it must be clearly stated that what we are talking about here is character ethic and not shallow manipulations. If the focus and intent of our actions is to sincerely contribute by helping someone to fulfill a need, we are on the path of a win/win situation.
On the other hand, if we are simply trying to manipulate someone by using clever tactics, sooner or later, the lack of sincerity will shine through and the whole thing will be exposed and fall apart. There is no substitute for integrity and nothing can replace sincerity.
The very best way that we can help someone fulfill the need for significance is though appreciation. Honest and sincere appreciation will always touch a person's heart. Sometimes a simple "thank you" or "congratulation for a job well done" will be enough to light a person's whole day.
There is nothing as needed and wanted as recognition. That is especially true with people who are near and dear to us. Because we are polite, we are quick to thank strangers. But what about the people that we spend most of our time with? Usually they are taken for granted. Why should that be?
As the proverb says, "As you sow so shall you reap." That is also true with appreciation and recognition. We get what we give - most of the time. Some people may feel uneasy about giving some appreciation. Those are the ones who need it the most.
Now, if we, ourselves, want to be appreciated, that can best be done by being interested rather than by being interesting. In other words, it is the attention that we give to other and not the attention that we attract to ourselves that will be truly appreciated.
Deep down, every one has this need to feel important. That is a genetic need that was implanted in the core of man's makeup in prehistoric times when belonging to the clan meant survival. That impulse is still with us and it is still as strong as ever.
A child will go to incredible length to attract attention and get that feeling of significance. Some children will even go as far as hurting themselves to get it. Sadly, some adults have never evolved from that stage. A mature individual still needs to fulfill the need for significance however will not seek it through self-destructive means.
Success in life depends very much on our capacity to bond with people. It is by bonding with people that we get acceptance and cooperation. That bonding can best be done by being genuinely interested in others and one of the best ways to do that is by being appreciative. Sometimes a smile or a simple nod will do it. A small price to pay for all the satisfaction that it brings.
Raymond comeau
Naturally, the need that is most pressing for anyone is the need that it not met. In a great majority of the cases, that unfulfilled need is the need for significance. The needs to feel important, that we matter, that we are somebody. People will go to any length to fill that need. And, if we can help people to fulfill that need, not only will it make us feel good, it can also create very strong bonds of friendship and goodwill.
Now, before another word is said about how we can benefit by helping someone else to fulfill a need it must be clearly stated that what we are talking about here is character ethic and not shallow manipulations. If the focus and intent of our actions is to sincerely contribute by helping someone to fulfill a need, we are on the path of a win/win situation.
On the other hand, if we are simply trying to manipulate someone by using clever tactics, sooner or later, the lack of sincerity will shine through and the whole thing will be exposed and fall apart. There is no substitute for integrity and nothing can replace sincerity.
The very best way that we can help someone fulfill the need for significance is though appreciation. Honest and sincere appreciation will always touch a person's heart. Sometimes a simple "thank you" or "congratulation for a job well done" will be enough to light a person's whole day.
There is nothing as needed and wanted as recognition. That is especially true with people who are near and dear to us. Because we are polite, we are quick to thank strangers. But what about the people that we spend most of our time with? Usually they are taken for granted. Why should that be?
As the proverb says, "As you sow so shall you reap." That is also true with appreciation and recognition. We get what we give - most of the time. Some people may feel uneasy about giving some appreciation. Those are the ones who need it the most.
Now, if we, ourselves, want to be appreciated, that can best be done by being interested rather than by being interesting. In other words, it is the attention that we give to other and not the attention that we attract to ourselves that will be truly appreciated.
Deep down, every one has this need to feel important. That is a genetic need that was implanted in the core of man's makeup in prehistoric times when belonging to the clan meant survival. That impulse is still with us and it is still as strong as ever.
A child will go to incredible length to attract attention and get that feeling of significance. Some children will even go as far as hurting themselves to get it. Sadly, some adults have never evolved from that stage. A mature individual still needs to fulfill the need for significance however will not seek it through self-destructive means.
Success in life depends very much on our capacity to bond with people. It is by bonding with people that we get acceptance and cooperation. That bonding can best be done by being genuinely interested in others and one of the best ways to do that is by being appreciative. Sometimes a smile or a simple nod will do it. A small price to pay for all the satisfaction that it brings.
Raymond comeau
How to Talk to Any Guy - Overcome Your Shyness
Are you one of those women who finds that your shyness is getting in the way of talking to guys you find attractive? Do you avoid approaching an attractive guy because you are afraid of saying the wrong thing? It's a common problem, but one that can be addressed by taking advantage of a few words of advice in the following article. If you want to learn how to talk to any guy, keep reading.
Figure out where your shyness comes from
In many cases, shyness comes from insecurity about your physical appearance. The cure for that is to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and figure out how to dress and apply makeup to bring out your best features.
Then, be sure to look your best every time you leave home - even if it's just to run errands. You never know whom you might run into at the grocery store or the post office and, if you know you look your best, it won't matter.
Are you afraid of rejection?
If you've experienced rejection in the past, as most women have, you may have a problem approaching men because you don't want to go through the pain and humiliation of being rejected again. It's not an easy problem to overcome, but it is possible.
Think about the times you've been rejected and accept that it is just part of the dating process - something everyone experiences from time to time. You know you are capable of attracting good men, but you can't expect to attract them all Maintain a positive attitude, and if you run into rejection remind yourself that it's the guy's loss, not yours.
Be yourself
The best way to break that wall of shyness you've erected around yourself is to try to forget that you are talking to an attractive guy and just converse as if you were talking to one of your girlfriends. It is a rare guy who will make the effort to penetrate the shyness "wall," so it's up to you to pretend it doesn't exist.
Smile and be friendly and approachable when you spot a guy you'd like to get to know. Ask him about himself and turn the discussion to topics that interest him. Most guys love to talk about themselves and will respond with enthusiasm to a woman who shows an interest in him.
Follow this advice and you'll soon know how to talk to any guy without hesitation.
Tina Jones
Figure out where your shyness comes from
In many cases, shyness comes from insecurity about your physical appearance. The cure for that is to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and figure out how to dress and apply makeup to bring out your best features.
Then, be sure to look your best every time you leave home - even if it's just to run errands. You never know whom you might run into at the grocery store or the post office and, if you know you look your best, it won't matter.
Are you afraid of rejection?
If you've experienced rejection in the past, as most women have, you may have a problem approaching men because you don't want to go through the pain and humiliation of being rejected again. It's not an easy problem to overcome, but it is possible.
Think about the times you've been rejected and accept that it is just part of the dating process - something everyone experiences from time to time. You know you are capable of attracting good men, but you can't expect to attract them all Maintain a positive attitude, and if you run into rejection remind yourself that it's the guy's loss, not yours.
Be yourself
The best way to break that wall of shyness you've erected around yourself is to try to forget that you are talking to an attractive guy and just converse as if you were talking to one of your girlfriends. It is a rare guy who will make the effort to penetrate the shyness "wall," so it's up to you to pretend it doesn't exist.
Smile and be friendly and approachable when you spot a guy you'd like to get to know. Ask him about himself and turn the discussion to topics that interest him. Most guys love to talk about themselves and will respond with enthusiasm to a woman who shows an interest in him.
Follow this advice and you'll soon know how to talk to any guy without hesitation.
Tina Jones
Do You Miss Your Ex? Sure Shot Tricks to Get Your Ex to Chase You Around Like Crazy
What wouldn't you do to get your lover back...to turn back time and start again with a clean slate? But you feel that things have gone a little too far...it seems too complicated and difficult. In spite of all this you want your ex back! I know the searing pain you feel each morning when you wake up, and every song that you heard together, every place that you visited serves as a painful reminder of your break up. But you can salvage your relationship and I shall tell you how.
Get a plan
Calling your ex repeatedly without having anything to say is not what we do. If your ex is not back with you, you need to stop trying for the moment. Get a plan and work according to it in a calm, mature and methodical manner.
Respect yourself
It's time that you learn to respect yourself. If you act like a complete push over, that's what you'll be and let me tell you, you will have no one else to blame except yourself. Ignore your ex for a while. Don't text, call or mail your ex. Give them a chance to miss you. Meanwhile, get your act straight and work on your shortcomings.
Be friends
Send a mail to your ex and apologize for your faults. Give your ex the credit for making you want to be a better person. Be friends with your ex's friends and family. They will keep him abreast of your life.
Get a life
The best way to get over a break-up is to get out there and have some fun. Keep yourself in circulation. Go on in life as though nothing has happened. Let your ex see that you are a strong and confident person and there are many more fish in the sea. I'm telling you, your ex is bound to see his/her mistake and will want you back.
Jason Leading
Get a plan
Calling your ex repeatedly without having anything to say is not what we do. If your ex is not back with you, you need to stop trying for the moment. Get a plan and work according to it in a calm, mature and methodical manner.
Respect yourself
It's time that you learn to respect yourself. If you act like a complete push over, that's what you'll be and let me tell you, you will have no one else to blame except yourself. Ignore your ex for a while. Don't text, call or mail your ex. Give them a chance to miss you. Meanwhile, get your act straight and work on your shortcomings.
Be friends
Send a mail to your ex and apologize for your faults. Give your ex the credit for making you want to be a better person. Be friends with your ex's friends and family. They will keep him abreast of your life.
Get a life
The best way to get over a break-up is to get out there and have some fun. Keep yourself in circulation. Go on in life as though nothing has happened. Let your ex see that you are a strong and confident person and there are many more fish in the sea. I'm telling you, your ex is bound to see his/her mistake and will want you back.
Jason Leading
How Tell If Your Spouse is Lying! Here Are Sure Shot Ways to Catch a Liar Almost Instantly
When we love somebody, we trust everything that they say. We assume that our spouse will never lie to us or try to hide anything from us. If you are one of those believers it's time to do a reality check. When one is doing something wrong then lying is the easiest thing to do. It comes naturally. However, there are a few things which are characteristic of a lying person and you need to be smart to detect these symptoms.
Being too defensive
Your spouse has suddenly become very defensive about simple things. For example, if you ask him/her what the plans for the weekend are, he/she will get defensive and question you back, mostly asking you of your intention. He/she will be suspicious of all the questions that you ask and will begin giving unnecessary explanations or excuses.
Inconsistency of explanations
If you believe that you are good at detecting lies, then keep your radar up for pinning down the inconsistencies that you find in your spouses' explanations. If your spouse is lying then it will get difficult for him/her to keep a track of what he/she is saying and discrepancies in conversations are bound to show up.
Use distractions to change topics
You will notice that your spouse will try to avoid certain topics and discussions at any cost. In order to do so, he/she will often use anger as a tool so that you let go of the current conversation. It has also been noticed that some lying spouses use humor and wit to get out of a spot. They'll have you laughing so hard that you'll forget the original issue.
Body language
This is the most obvious of all the signs. You will notice that your spouse avoids looking at you while he/she is lying and will look past you or see through you while talking. He/she might also fidget with something constantly like his/her hair and might even be unwilling to touch you during a conversation.
Jason Leading
Being too defensive
Your spouse has suddenly become very defensive about simple things. For example, if you ask him/her what the plans for the weekend are, he/she will get defensive and question you back, mostly asking you of your intention. He/she will be suspicious of all the questions that you ask and will begin giving unnecessary explanations or excuses.
Inconsistency of explanations
If you believe that you are good at detecting lies, then keep your radar up for pinning down the inconsistencies that you find in your spouses' explanations. If your spouse is lying then it will get difficult for him/her to keep a track of what he/she is saying and discrepancies in conversations are bound to show up.
Use distractions to change topics
You will notice that your spouse will try to avoid certain topics and discussions at any cost. In order to do so, he/she will often use anger as a tool so that you let go of the current conversation. It has also been noticed that some lying spouses use humor and wit to get out of a spot. They'll have you laughing so hard that you'll forget the original issue.
Body language
This is the most obvious of all the signs. You will notice that your spouse avoids looking at you while he/she is lying and will look past you or see through you while talking. He/she might also fidget with something constantly like his/her hair and might even be unwilling to touch you during a conversation.
Jason Leading
Sneaky Tactics to Reveal If Your Partner is Seeing Someone Else! Read This Right Away
If you are suspecting that your partner is seeing someone else you need to be sure that what you are thinking is true and not a figment of your imagination. Read the article below to find out whether your mate is up to no good behind your back.
Credit card statements
Your partner's credit card statement will tell you a lot about what he/she is up to. Look out for purchases made at florists, gift shops and motels. If you have not been the recipient of such gifts or flowers you will know for sure that someone else has. You will have ammunition to question your partner when you decide to confront him/her.
Make a note of his/her movements
Keep a diary and make a note of the days your partner says he/she is working late. If overtime is the excuse he/she is using, tally your record with his pay check. If there is no increase in the money he/she is earning you can be sure your partner is up to no good.
The way he/she is dressing
Has your partner suddenly started spending money on new colognes and perfumes? Is he/she taking extra care dressing up for work? These are signs that your partner is trying to look good for someone. Ask him/her why the special interest in clothes and if you are met with a vague non committal answer, you need to watch out.
Wait outside his/her workplace
As most affairs take place at the work place, wait outside his/her office and look out for him/her. If you see his/her car moving out of the parking lot when he/she has told you about working late, you will know something is up. Follow at a discreet distance and you will have your answer. Your partner is probably driving to meet the someone special in his/her life.
An Extremely Effective Way To Track A Cheating Spouse- There is an extremely effective trick which will help you spot a cheating spouse within seconds... No matter how sneaky your spouse is... He/she definitely can't fool you when you use this trick.
Jason Leading
Credit card statements
Your partner's credit card statement will tell you a lot about what he/she is up to. Look out for purchases made at florists, gift shops and motels. If you have not been the recipient of such gifts or flowers you will know for sure that someone else has. You will have ammunition to question your partner when you decide to confront him/her.
Make a note of his/her movements
Keep a diary and make a note of the days your partner says he/she is working late. If overtime is the excuse he/she is using, tally your record with his pay check. If there is no increase in the money he/she is earning you can be sure your partner is up to no good.
The way he/she is dressing
Has your partner suddenly started spending money on new colognes and perfumes? Is he/she taking extra care dressing up for work? These are signs that your partner is trying to look good for someone. Ask him/her why the special interest in clothes and if you are met with a vague non committal answer, you need to watch out.
Wait outside his/her workplace
As most affairs take place at the work place, wait outside his/her office and look out for him/her. If you see his/her car moving out of the parking lot when he/she has told you about working late, you will know something is up. Follow at a discreet distance and you will have your answer. Your partner is probably driving to meet the someone special in his/her life.
An Extremely Effective Way To Track A Cheating Spouse- There is an extremely effective trick which will help you spot a cheating spouse within seconds... No matter how sneaky your spouse is... He/she definitely can't fool you when you use this trick.
Jason Leading
Stop Being Clingy! 5 Tips to Keep You From Being the Girl Men Can't Stand
Being clingy, needy, or behaving in a codependent fashion is one of the biggest killers in a relationship. I've written numerous articles aimed at helping men who feel stuck in codependent or unhealthy relationships, and now I'd like to address women: Stop being clingy!
People develop clingy, needy tendencies -- which can also be termed "codependent behavior" -- for a variety of reasons, mostly resulting from childhood experiences or past betrayals. But if you find yourself in this pattern, you are pushing your partner away.
What can you do?
1) Become aware of habits that infringe on your man's independence.
Stop being so vigilant of his behavior, calling him several times a day, requiring all the details whenever he goes out, etc. Everyone needs a certain amount of freedom. Women typically want more intimacy than a man is able to provide, and healthy women find a balance. If you don't allow your man space and time to himself, you're suffocating the relationship.
2) Stop constantly testing him!
It's OK to have doubts and fears about the relationship -- you can work on them. But stop frequently asking him if he loves you, if he'll ever leave you, if he finds other women attractive, etc. Men find the constant barrage of testing and questioning stressful and exhausting.
3) Get a handle on jealousy, and don't show resentment for his female friends and acquaintances.
It's normal for him to have female friends. 50% of the world is female, so if you can't handle his interacting with women (some of whom are attractive), it's your problem,not his. Showing jealousy of other women is very unattractive to most men. It might take you some time before you stop feeling jealous, but at least you can stop showing your jealousy from this point on.
4) Recapture your independent spirit, and engage in activities outside the relationship.
Maybe go to dance classes by yourself. Not only will this foster your independent spirit, but it will let your boyfriend be the jealous one for a change. Get yourself out there -- don't be attached to your boyfriend at the hip! Sexy women have their own pursuits -- they're not constantly tagging along with their partners.
5) NOTICE when you're acting in a way that overwhelms or smothers him.
It's OK to occasionally discuss the relationship. It's not OK to analyze everything on a daily basis, forcing him to express exactly how he feels, and getting mad at him when he can't express it well. This drives men crazy -- we're often not good at talking about relationships, and we can be perfectly content without analyzing every detail. Save the analyzing for your girlfriends.
Michael Freeman
People develop clingy, needy tendencies -- which can also be termed "codependent behavior" -- for a variety of reasons, mostly resulting from childhood experiences or past betrayals. But if you find yourself in this pattern, you are pushing your partner away.
What can you do?
1) Become aware of habits that infringe on your man's independence.
Stop being so vigilant of his behavior, calling him several times a day, requiring all the details whenever he goes out, etc. Everyone needs a certain amount of freedom. Women typically want more intimacy than a man is able to provide, and healthy women find a balance. If you don't allow your man space and time to himself, you're suffocating the relationship.
2) Stop constantly testing him!
It's OK to have doubts and fears about the relationship -- you can work on them. But stop frequently asking him if he loves you, if he'll ever leave you, if he finds other women attractive, etc. Men find the constant barrage of testing and questioning stressful and exhausting.
3) Get a handle on jealousy, and don't show resentment for his female friends and acquaintances.
It's normal for him to have female friends. 50% of the world is female, so if you can't handle his interacting with women (some of whom are attractive), it's your problem,not his. Showing jealousy of other women is very unattractive to most men. It might take you some time before you stop feeling jealous, but at least you can stop showing your jealousy from this point on.
4) Recapture your independent spirit, and engage in activities outside the relationship.
Maybe go to dance classes by yourself. Not only will this foster your independent spirit, but it will let your boyfriend be the jealous one for a change. Get yourself out there -- don't be attached to your boyfriend at the hip! Sexy women have their own pursuits -- they're not constantly tagging along with their partners.
5) NOTICE when you're acting in a way that overwhelms or smothers him.
It's OK to occasionally discuss the relationship. It's not OK to analyze everything on a daily basis, forcing him to express exactly how he feels, and getting mad at him when he can't express it well. This drives men crazy -- we're often not good at talking about relationships, and we can be perfectly content without analyzing every detail. Save the analyzing for your girlfriends.
Michael Freeman
Stunning Tricks to Pull Your Ex Back Real Fast! You Definitely Don't Want to Miss These
Beating around the bush helps no one! Relationships most often turn sour when there is no sacrifice or giving on one side! Sometimes it is very difficult for one partner to do all the giving at all times! This is when the tie that has bound the two together, snaps! Perhaps the very same thing has happened to you and you are at your wit's end as to how to reconcile with your ex. Read the following tips which will help you get your ex back faster!
Stop playing the bruised victim!
Have you been going around looking like the whole world (not only your ex) has turned against you? There is nothing more pathetic than someone who tries to gain sympathy by turning on the crocodile tears and singing the "nobody loves me!" song! This type of attitude will only make your ex irritated with you.
Dump the "blame game"!
Have you gone around blaming your ex for everything? Remember it takes two hands to clap - it is more than likely that you have made the larger contribution! Don't be in a hurry to blame your ex. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at things with a new perspective - his/her way for a change!
Don't be in denial!
Most of the time it is easier to point a finger at someone else. Besides, the easiest way to take the attention off you is to get everyone to notice him/her! This type of attitude does not really hide the facts. Be ready to take on the responsibility! Admit your faults and start changing for the better.
Pick up the pieces.
Don't let your life lie in tatters around you. Pick up the pieces and move on. Okay, you too have been hurt, but unless you are ready to forget and move on, it will be very difficult to reignite the flames of love and passion between the two of you.
Warning: If You Do Not Act Now, Your Ex Is Going To Find Someone Else To Love and Have Sex With!- If you do not do something about this right now, your ex will forever be lost to someone else! You are about to find out exactly how you can get your ex begging to take you back instantly, no matter how messed up your current situation is! You will never be ignored, rejected, or hurt ever again! This is an absolute must know.
Jason Leading
Stop playing the bruised victim!
Have you been going around looking like the whole world (not only your ex) has turned against you? There is nothing more pathetic than someone who tries to gain sympathy by turning on the crocodile tears and singing the "nobody loves me!" song! This type of attitude will only make your ex irritated with you.
Dump the "blame game"!
Have you gone around blaming your ex for everything? Remember it takes two hands to clap - it is more than likely that you have made the larger contribution! Don't be in a hurry to blame your ex. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at things with a new perspective - his/her way for a change!
Don't be in denial!
Most of the time it is easier to point a finger at someone else. Besides, the easiest way to take the attention off you is to get everyone to notice him/her! This type of attitude does not really hide the facts. Be ready to take on the responsibility! Admit your faults and start changing for the better.
Pick up the pieces.
Don't let your life lie in tatters around you. Pick up the pieces and move on. Okay, you too have been hurt, but unless you are ready to forget and move on, it will be very difficult to reignite the flames of love and passion between the two of you.
Warning: If You Do Not Act Now, Your Ex Is Going To Find Someone Else To Love and Have Sex With!- If you do not do something about this right now, your ex will forever be lost to someone else! You are about to find out exactly how you can get your ex begging to take you back instantly, no matter how messed up your current situation is! You will never be ignored, rejected, or hurt ever again! This is an absolute must know.
Jason Leading
Monday, July 27, 2009
The Symbolic Meaning of the Engagement Ring
In the United States, as well as many other countries, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. This tradition is thought to be from the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the "vein of love," the vein that leads to the heart. They are promise rings. They are the promise of commitment and of things to come.
The ring is a symbol of two peoples love and obligation towards each other. It is an important time in the couple's lives and therefore choosing that perfect ring is the first step towards building a life together and therefore a lot of emphasis is placed on getting it right. It is a representation of your love and dedication and hence an extremely important piece of jewelry. The classic engagement ring is composed of two parts: a diamond and a setting. For the best value, find the ring setting she will love, then devote the remainder of your budget to a beautiful, certified diamond.
Diamonds are used the in most settings, mainly because of their durability and strength. These qualities are meant to symbolize the relationship, so the diamond is usually the centerpiece of the ring's setting. Diamonds are the best of all jewelry stones available to the serious jewelry buyer.
Platinum has become the new "it" metal for engagement rings, but it comes with a hefty price tag. Fortunately, there are plenty of metals on the market that are still beautiful, elegant and less expensive. Designer rings are always more expensive because they offer you the quality that comes with their name as well as a lifetime guarantee. You can find ready made rings in almost every jewelry store or you can custom make one to match your requirements, special design and budget.
Jeff Glasser
The ring is a symbol of two peoples love and obligation towards each other. It is an important time in the couple's lives and therefore choosing that perfect ring is the first step towards building a life together and therefore a lot of emphasis is placed on getting it right. It is a representation of your love and dedication and hence an extremely important piece of jewelry. The classic engagement ring is composed of two parts: a diamond and a setting. For the best value, find the ring setting she will love, then devote the remainder of your budget to a beautiful, certified diamond.
Diamonds are used the in most settings, mainly because of their durability and strength. These qualities are meant to symbolize the relationship, so the diamond is usually the centerpiece of the ring's setting. Diamonds are the best of all jewelry stones available to the serious jewelry buyer.
Platinum has become the new "it" metal for engagement rings, but it comes with a hefty price tag. Fortunately, there are plenty of metals on the market that are still beautiful, elegant and less expensive. Designer rings are always more expensive because they offer you the quality that comes with their name as well as a lifetime guarantee. You can find ready made rings in almost every jewelry store or you can custom make one to match your requirements, special design and budget.
Jeff Glasser
Finding Someone to Compliment You Instead of Supplementing You
Everything in your life is going well. A successful career, a new home, and even a handful of the best friends you could ever ask for. Yet, something is lacking. You've realized you invested so much into creating your own empire, that you have no one to share the benefits with. Now you're looking for someone to compliment you.
Though, often times we're looking for someone to supplement us rather than compliment us. We've all known someone like that at some point in our life; that one individual that is always jumping from relationship to relationship in search of "the one" who will complete them. Only you can decide when it's the right time to introduce someone into your life, but there are a few things you can do to make sure.
First, realize your direction in life. Know what you want and don't want ahead of time. What is it that you're looking for in a partner? How many times have we all heard that infamous line; we just don't want the same things. Knowing what you want and your potential partner want in the beginning will ease any tension later on down the road. People's wants and needs do change from time to time, but communicating this is key to any long lasting relationship.
Secondly, know how much time you are willing to invest in your relationship. If you want it to be casual in the beginning, lay it out there. Honesty and open communication are essential to any relationship. In the end, this will spare any hurt feelings. If there hurt either way, at least you can walk away knowing you were honest from day one.
Thirdly, don't expect your partner to conform to your ideas of what they should be. Remember you are looking for another being to share experiences and possibly your life with, and not a droid. They are their own individual with their own personality. If you wanted someone just like you, perhaps you should consider being asexual. Yes, asexual is actually an orientation.
There are many things that you can do to make sure you are ready to venture out into the dating world again. You don't have to go jumping off of blind man's leap. Dating should be fun and exciting. Though, at times it can be scary as well. It takes two complete individuals to make a whole relationship. Just remember, find someone that compliments you instead of supplements you.
John west
Though, often times we're looking for someone to supplement us rather than compliment us. We've all known someone like that at some point in our life; that one individual that is always jumping from relationship to relationship in search of "the one" who will complete them. Only you can decide when it's the right time to introduce someone into your life, but there are a few things you can do to make sure.
First, realize your direction in life. Know what you want and don't want ahead of time. What is it that you're looking for in a partner? How many times have we all heard that infamous line; we just don't want the same things. Knowing what you want and your potential partner want in the beginning will ease any tension later on down the road. People's wants and needs do change from time to time, but communicating this is key to any long lasting relationship.
Secondly, know how much time you are willing to invest in your relationship. If you want it to be casual in the beginning, lay it out there. Honesty and open communication are essential to any relationship. In the end, this will spare any hurt feelings. If there hurt either way, at least you can walk away knowing you were honest from day one.
Thirdly, don't expect your partner to conform to your ideas of what they should be. Remember you are looking for another being to share experiences and possibly your life with, and not a droid. They are their own individual with their own personality. If you wanted someone just like you, perhaps you should consider being asexual. Yes, asexual is actually an orientation.
There are many things that you can do to make sure you are ready to venture out into the dating world again. You don't have to go jumping off of blind man's leap. Dating should be fun and exciting. Though, at times it can be scary as well. It takes two complete individuals to make a whole relationship. Just remember, find someone that compliments you instead of supplements you.
John west
Tell-Tale Signs That Show He is Ready For Marriage
The decision to get married is something that poses a lot of challenges to us. It is not that we find any difficulty with the subject. Rather, the problem has to do with our boyfriends, who often seem to get stuck at the dating level. Many men find it very difficult to finally ask for the hands of their girlfriends in marriage. This is something that drives many of us to the brink of disaster as we become very frustrated.
However, you should not allow yourself to go through such a painful experience. Although your boyfriend may not talk about commitment, there are telltale signs that will help you to know when he is really serious. Here are some of the things that will help you to determine whether he is really ready to settle down with you.
Discussing the future
When your boyfriend is ready to commit, he will discuss his future plans with you. This in itself is a show of trust, but there is more.
Notice how he talks about that future. You may realize that he describes his plans in plural terms, using such words as 'we' and 'us'. This means that he is already considering you as someone with whom he expects to share that future.
You should therefore pay closer attention when you discuss issues so that you do not miss such subtle signals. This will help you to determine his stance as far as your dating is concerned.
Check how he makes his expenditure
Generally, a man who is getting ready for marriage will be quite careful with his money. A man will by nature take measures to ensure that he looks after his family well; hence when he makes some important investments, he is essentially getting ready for this responsibility. It is even more telling when he talks with you about such plans as buying a home, as this is a clear indication that he trusts you and respects your opinion.
Introducing you to his family
Introducing a friend to his family is an important step that a man will not take lightly. If you notice that he begins to allow you to get acquainted with his family members, this shows that he is confident about you and is ready to commit. This is his way of trying to make his family accept you, which is something that the men appreciate.
It is even more significant if he lets you take part in some of his family events. You will have made a very major step if you win the approval of these important people in his life.
With the help of these signs among others, you will be able to know that your boyfriend is getting ready for marriage even before he goes on his knees to propose.
You have the power within you to make him commit. Don't just leave it to fate or wait for him to approach you. Get the best surefire strategies that no one is telling you about. You will feel more confident when you visit make a man fall in love.
Teecee Go
However, you should not allow yourself to go through such a painful experience. Although your boyfriend may not talk about commitment, there are telltale signs that will help you to know when he is really serious. Here are some of the things that will help you to determine whether he is really ready to settle down with you.
Discussing the future
When your boyfriend is ready to commit, he will discuss his future plans with you. This in itself is a show of trust, but there is more.
Notice how he talks about that future. You may realize that he describes his plans in plural terms, using such words as 'we' and 'us'. This means that he is already considering you as someone with whom he expects to share that future.
You should therefore pay closer attention when you discuss issues so that you do not miss such subtle signals. This will help you to determine his stance as far as your dating is concerned.
Check how he makes his expenditure
Generally, a man who is getting ready for marriage will be quite careful with his money. A man will by nature take measures to ensure that he looks after his family well; hence when he makes some important investments, he is essentially getting ready for this responsibility. It is even more telling when he talks with you about such plans as buying a home, as this is a clear indication that he trusts you and respects your opinion.
Introducing you to his family
Introducing a friend to his family is an important step that a man will not take lightly. If you notice that he begins to allow you to get acquainted with his family members, this shows that he is confident about you and is ready to commit. This is his way of trying to make his family accept you, which is something that the men appreciate.
It is even more significant if he lets you take part in some of his family events. You will have made a very major step if you win the approval of these important people in his life.
With the help of these signs among others, you will be able to know that your boyfriend is getting ready for marriage even before he goes on his knees to propose.
You have the power within you to make him commit. Don't just leave it to fate or wait for him to approach you. Get the best surefire strategies that no one is telling you about. You will feel more confident when you visit make a man fall in love.
Teecee Go
The Candid Advice My Pastor Gave Me About Readiness - 3 Reasons Not to Date Yet
Most of the people that visit my site, like 85% of them come from the USA. I have heard that 35% of people in the USA attend church on Sunday and so I am sure almost a third of the readers might find this interesting. It was a very frank and honest chat. He outlined 3 things that had to be considered.
1. I had to find myself.
My pastor explained to me that when you are married that is was like yellow soda (me) mixing with blue soda ( my wife) into a union that made us green soda. He said it did not matter that she was not living with me anymore, the fact of the matter was that I was not yet back to my original yellow soda as parts of her blue were still in me. He said I needed to take a two year break from relationships in order to re-find myself and also to be in the right state of mind to enter into a mature relationship with another woman.
2. I had to allow time for healing and counseling.
My pastor knew that I had been abused as a child and said that this time alone would be a perfect time to enter into a time of healing for those things that happened in my childhood. I had some good friends in the church that could support me in this process, both male and female and it was a good opportunity to heal myself up and become a potentially better partner for the next lady.
3. I had to allow time to develop a deeper relationship with God.
My pastor knew that my wife was my idol and he suggested that the next two years be devoted to drawing closer to God so that no partner in the future would be unhealthy for my faith. He pointed out to me that a man can hold his lady in higher esteem than God and he pointed out that this was a great error.
I hope my pastors candid advice to me has given you food for thought
Mattew payne
1. I had to find myself.
My pastor explained to me that when you are married that is was like yellow soda (me) mixing with blue soda ( my wife) into a union that made us green soda. He said it did not matter that she was not living with me anymore, the fact of the matter was that I was not yet back to my original yellow soda as parts of her blue were still in me. He said I needed to take a two year break from relationships in order to re-find myself and also to be in the right state of mind to enter into a mature relationship with another woman.
2. I had to allow time for healing and counseling.
My pastor knew that I had been abused as a child and said that this time alone would be a perfect time to enter into a time of healing for those things that happened in my childhood. I had some good friends in the church that could support me in this process, both male and female and it was a good opportunity to heal myself up and become a potentially better partner for the next lady.
3. I had to allow time to develop a deeper relationship with God.
My pastor knew that my wife was my idol and he suggested that the next two years be devoted to drawing closer to God so that no partner in the future would be unhealthy for my faith. He pointed out to me that a man can hold his lady in higher esteem than God and he pointed out that this was a great error.
I hope my pastors candid advice to me has given you food for thought
Mattew payne
Top 10 Relationship Advice Tips For Single Parents
It is important for single parents to take some time to develop relationships with other adults. Otherwise there will be a feeling of isolation and that you have to do everything that needs to get done. Here are some tips on creating great relationships with others.
1. Take your Time
You may be tempted to start another relationship right away and go deep fast. However, building relationships take time. It has an ebb and flow to it. Give yourself time to heal from your split and let yourself meet people without setting expectations.
2. Define Boundaries
You will want to set your standard before you begin to meet others. How much time to you have to developing relationships, where do you want to meet, etc.
3. Decide what you want from the relationship
List out what you are looking for in a relationship. Do you want another single parent to talk to while your kids are on a play date? Are you wanting to set up a support system? How about someone to go out to dinner, just the two of you?
4. Understand what you bring to the relationship
A good question to ask yourself is why would someone want to be in relationship with you? What will they get out of the time and effort? Don't be hard on yourself and say nothing. You have a lot to offer.
5. Be open to something new/different
If you are wanting something different in your life, you have to be open to letting it in. What you think you want show up completely different than what you thought it would be like. You may find yourself thinking 'I've never done this before.'Â It is good to do things that bring you out of your comfort zone.
6. Ask for introductions
If you don't know anyone who fits what you are looking for, ask friends, family and co-workers, 'Who do you know, tha...?' It is amazing how helpful people are when they know what you are looking for.
7. Ask Questions
Now that you've met someone, ask them about themselves, what they like and dislike. What are they looking for?
8. Build trust
New relationships should start on even ground, however, there may be some trust issues you bring from the past. Be aware if emotions, attitudes and feelings are affecting how you interact with this new relationship. Start with something small. Plan to meet somewhere. Notice, did they show up on time? Did they do what they said they would? Keep that in mind as you develop this relationship.
9. Don't talk about the ex
Unless you have decided that this new relationship is to be one that helps you heal the past, leave your ex out of the conversation. Let this be a new relationship, try new activities and create fresh memories.
10. Introduce the kids
Depending on what you have defined for this relationship, you may introduce your kids to this person. Or you may not. Even if your children never meet your co-worker lunch buddy, you can talk about what you did during the day. It is a good example to let your children know that you have friends and take time to do things that are fun.
These tips on creating great relationships with others are focused on how to create a new, exciting life as a single parent. Being a single parent doesn't mean you have to do everything alone or never do something for yourself. So get out there and have some fun.
Laura Ries
1. Take your Time
You may be tempted to start another relationship right away and go deep fast. However, building relationships take time. It has an ebb and flow to it. Give yourself time to heal from your split and let yourself meet people without setting expectations.
2. Define Boundaries
You will want to set your standard before you begin to meet others. How much time to you have to developing relationships, where do you want to meet, etc.
3. Decide what you want from the relationship
List out what you are looking for in a relationship. Do you want another single parent to talk to while your kids are on a play date? Are you wanting to set up a support system? How about someone to go out to dinner, just the two of you?
4. Understand what you bring to the relationship
A good question to ask yourself is why would someone want to be in relationship with you? What will they get out of the time and effort? Don't be hard on yourself and say nothing. You have a lot to offer.
5. Be open to something new/different
If you are wanting something different in your life, you have to be open to letting it in. What you think you want show up completely different than what you thought it would be like. You may find yourself thinking 'I've never done this before.'Â It is good to do things that bring you out of your comfort zone.
6. Ask for introductions
If you don't know anyone who fits what you are looking for, ask friends, family and co-workers, 'Who do you know, tha...?' It is amazing how helpful people are when they know what you are looking for.
7. Ask Questions
Now that you've met someone, ask them about themselves, what they like and dislike. What are they looking for?
8. Build trust
New relationships should start on even ground, however, there may be some trust issues you bring from the past. Be aware if emotions, attitudes and feelings are affecting how you interact with this new relationship. Start with something small. Plan to meet somewhere. Notice, did they show up on time? Did they do what they said they would? Keep that in mind as you develop this relationship.
9. Don't talk about the ex
Unless you have decided that this new relationship is to be one that helps you heal the past, leave your ex out of the conversation. Let this be a new relationship, try new activities and create fresh memories.
10. Introduce the kids
Depending on what you have defined for this relationship, you may introduce your kids to this person. Or you may not. Even if your children never meet your co-worker lunch buddy, you can talk about what you did during the day. It is a good example to let your children know that you have friends and take time to do things that are fun.
These tips on creating great relationships with others are focused on how to create a new, exciting life as a single parent. Being a single parent doesn't mean you have to do everything alone or never do something for yourself. So get out there and have some fun.
Laura Ries
Why Are Men Scared of Commitment? Find Out His Reasons
It is not uncommon for guys to be scared of commitment and so you ask "why are men scared of commitment?" Commitment seems to be the hardest thing that you can get from a guy. In reality, men are always jittery when it comes to marriage and family. Scared enough that they would want to pack up and go away from you. Settling down for some guys seems to be an elusive thing. Find out some of his reasons below.
1 - He is not free anymore. This is the most common reason when it comes to the question "why are men scared of commitment." Well, to admit the fact when you are committed to a relationship, you will loose a certain freedom for yourself. This means you will always take into account the other person in no matter what you do.
2 - He feels like his privacy is invaded. Men always feel protective of their own privately built space. They usually don't like it when they have to share something they consider as their own. They don't especially have any inkling to like it when they see girl stuffs cluttering their room, their closet and bathroom.
3 - He is immature. When a guy accepts that he is immature that is why he can't commit, acknowledge this and appreciate him because he was able to admit the truth to himself and that it will be a good thing for you both. You will only have problems later on if you force him to commit himself to you.
4 - He experienced traumatic event before. A big impact on a man's ego as well as in his commitment is when he experienced something traumatic like some woman he went serious with and was willing to spend forever with before has coldly broke his heart of something to that effect.
If you ask "why are men scared of commitment," you should also ask yourself the same thing. Men and women alike share common fears when it comes to commitment.
There are other reasons that men have when it comes to settling down. However, there are also ways where you can get around them and subtly make them the one who proposes to you. If you want the secrets unveiled, you will need all the information you can on how to discover what makes his heart melt. You can find out more here and prepare for a journey that will lead you to his heart and eventually keep him forever.
Sarah Smith
1 - He is not free anymore. This is the most common reason when it comes to the question "why are men scared of commitment." Well, to admit the fact when you are committed to a relationship, you will loose a certain freedom for yourself. This means you will always take into account the other person in no matter what you do.
2 - He feels like his privacy is invaded. Men always feel protective of their own privately built space. They usually don't like it when they have to share something they consider as their own. They don't especially have any inkling to like it when they see girl stuffs cluttering their room, their closet and bathroom.
3 - He is immature. When a guy accepts that he is immature that is why he can't commit, acknowledge this and appreciate him because he was able to admit the truth to himself and that it will be a good thing for you both. You will only have problems later on if you force him to commit himself to you.
4 - He experienced traumatic event before. A big impact on a man's ego as well as in his commitment is when he experienced something traumatic like some woman he went serious with and was willing to spend forever with before has coldly broke his heart of something to that effect.
If you ask "why are men scared of commitment," you should also ask yourself the same thing. Men and women alike share common fears when it comes to commitment.
There are other reasons that men have when it comes to settling down. However, there are also ways where you can get around them and subtly make them the one who proposes to you. If you want the secrets unveiled, you will need all the information you can on how to discover what makes his heart melt. You can find out more here and prepare for a journey that will lead you to his heart and eventually keep him forever.
Sarah Smith
Someone Special Holding Your Happiness Hostage?
What is happiness? When will we actually achieve or attain true happiness? I guess no one really has the answer to these questions and those who have given us answers, have those answers open to interpretation. But we all have a sense of what happiness is like, what that feeling is, what it causes inside of us and how it makes us see the beauty and glory in everything and everyone.
Many of us believe, that real happiness will come into our lives only when we find that one true person whom we love, who loves us back and is our perfect soul mate. I personally used to think along those lines too, that all my life problems, dissatisfaction and unhappiness would be gone, If I managed to find the perfect girl for myself. Let's be honest, So many of us truly believe that if we can find that perfect someone special, then all the happiness in the world would come rushing into our lives and we'll live happily ever after...just like the perfect Disney story.
It's almost everyone's hidden or sometimes displayed, heartfelt desire to have someone special in their life. And I think It's great. It's wonderful actually. It's our innate, natural god given desire, so it's cool for us to be open about it and not hide it.
The Problem
The problem arises when we start thinking that happiness will come to us ONLY when we find that someone 'RIGHT', that happiness will only show itself in all it's splendor when we're in that relationship with them. And THIS is where things start to fall apart.
By thinking in these terms, like this. We end up making our happiness dependent on something outside of our realm of control. Like the weather. You can't control the weather and similarly you can't control when you're going to meet the RIGHT person. Consider this; what are the chances of a Disney style 'happily ever after' happening in real life? 1 in a 1000? considering reality, it's more like 1 in a 1000000 (million). Do you really want to put your happiness on something that has those kinds of odds? Now I'm not saying that perfect couples don't exist. I'm just saying that it's a rare occurrence and instead of waiting on chance for that rarity to occur in your life. You should learn to live for your own happiness.
You can't keep holding yourself back from life and happiness, thinking that happiness will happen only when you find that special someone. Look inside of you...DEEP inside of you and many of you might find that you're holding your happiness hostage consciously or most probably subconsciously. Do you really want something other than yourself , to be in control of your happiness? I don't.
The solution
Is there a solution? I mean, these things are natural and inbuilt. We can't deny our instinctual tendency to expect and look forward to the happiness we foresee in the future, of being with that special someone. I agree. But the key here, is to look forward to the future, but not suffer due to it, in the present. you can't live your life by 'copping out' to the excuse that happiness will come only when you meet 'Prince/princess charming.' Don't be so shallow and naive or rather in many cases LAZY. You can't give in to the belief, that a single event/person is the main source of happiness in your life. Things don't work that way and that's the WONDERFUL part about it!!
You don't Need a reason to be happy. It's all inbuilt. It's the natural order of beings.The innate mode of the soul, the spirit in you,is to be HAPPY. It makes me sad to think that most of the world has been fooled ( read programmed) into thinking that you need a REASON to be HAPPY.
What to do next
My dad used to say that if you love what you're doing, then everything will automatically come to you in abundance and this implies for the right person too, to come into your life. So start actually LIVING your life. It's like the song by T.I. - live your life. Just live your life and do the things that you know would give you lasting fulfillment. Get a new job, make some music, write a book, dance, travel the world, meet new people( usually the best for a lot of reasons), start gardening, fashion designing...Do anything that makes you happy and have the COURAGE to do it.
Do the things in life that naturally make you happy regardless of what other people say. You don't need approval or anyone's permission to be happy and do what you love. By doing the things that challenge, excite and enlighten you, you satisfy the soul and open yourself up to the universe and everything else, even that special someone will, in their due time, enter into your life. :)
Ashwin Thapliyal
Many of us believe, that real happiness will come into our lives only when we find that one true person whom we love, who loves us back and is our perfect soul mate. I personally used to think along those lines too, that all my life problems, dissatisfaction and unhappiness would be gone, If I managed to find the perfect girl for myself. Let's be honest, So many of us truly believe that if we can find that perfect someone special, then all the happiness in the world would come rushing into our lives and we'll live happily ever after...just like the perfect Disney story.
It's almost everyone's hidden or sometimes displayed, heartfelt desire to have someone special in their life. And I think It's great. It's wonderful actually. It's our innate, natural god given desire, so it's cool for us to be open about it and not hide it.
The Problem
The problem arises when we start thinking that happiness will come to us ONLY when we find that someone 'RIGHT', that happiness will only show itself in all it's splendor when we're in that relationship with them. And THIS is where things start to fall apart.
By thinking in these terms, like this. We end up making our happiness dependent on something outside of our realm of control. Like the weather. You can't control the weather and similarly you can't control when you're going to meet the RIGHT person. Consider this; what are the chances of a Disney style 'happily ever after' happening in real life? 1 in a 1000? considering reality, it's more like 1 in a 1000000 (million). Do you really want to put your happiness on something that has those kinds of odds? Now I'm not saying that perfect couples don't exist. I'm just saying that it's a rare occurrence and instead of waiting on chance for that rarity to occur in your life. You should learn to live for your own happiness.
You can't keep holding yourself back from life and happiness, thinking that happiness will happen only when you find that special someone. Look inside of you...DEEP inside of you and many of you might find that you're holding your happiness hostage consciously or most probably subconsciously. Do you really want something other than yourself , to be in control of your happiness? I don't.
The solution
Is there a solution? I mean, these things are natural and inbuilt. We can't deny our instinctual tendency to expect and look forward to the happiness we foresee in the future, of being with that special someone. I agree. But the key here, is to look forward to the future, but not suffer due to it, in the present. you can't live your life by 'copping out' to the excuse that happiness will come only when you meet 'Prince/princess charming.' Don't be so shallow and naive or rather in many cases LAZY. You can't give in to the belief, that a single event/person is the main source of happiness in your life. Things don't work that way and that's the WONDERFUL part about it!!
You don't Need a reason to be happy. It's all inbuilt. It's the natural order of beings.The innate mode of the soul, the spirit in you,is to be HAPPY. It makes me sad to think that most of the world has been fooled ( read programmed) into thinking that you need a REASON to be HAPPY.
What to do next
My dad used to say that if you love what you're doing, then everything will automatically come to you in abundance and this implies for the right person too, to come into your life. So start actually LIVING your life. It's like the song by T.I. - live your life. Just live your life and do the things that you know would give you lasting fulfillment. Get a new job, make some music, write a book, dance, travel the world, meet new people( usually the best for a lot of reasons), start gardening, fashion designing...Do anything that makes you happy and have the COURAGE to do it.
Do the things in life that naturally make you happy regardless of what other people say. You don't need approval or anyone's permission to be happy and do what you love. By doing the things that challenge, excite and enlighten you, you satisfy the soul and open yourself up to the universe and everything else, even that special someone will, in their due time, enter into your life. :)
Ashwin Thapliyal
Friday, July 24, 2009
Where to Meet Girls - 2 Great Locations For Meeting More Women
Being able to know where to meet girls is very important because if you don't meet them than you cannot begin to date them. The problem today is you may not know the right locations where to meet the type of woman that you want. As a result of this may have caused you frustration in your dating life causing you to settle for woman of far lower quality than what you are used to. In this article I will outline two great spots where you can meet the girl you always wanted.
Grocery Store If you want to learn where to meet girls the grocery store is a great place to start. Most women are appointed to do the cooking for the household causing them to flock to the grocery store on a consistent basis. This is a good sign for you because it provides a steady flow of attractive woman for you to approach. The best part is women of all ages come to the grocery store because at the end of the day everyone needs food.
Online Dating Websites such as face book and my space are now some of the top twenty visited sites on the internet. This shows that online dating went from something that was considered odd to something that is perfectly normal and acceptable in today's world. The great thing about online dating is it will let you practice your attraction creating skills with the woman and you won't have to get rejected face to face.
John Banks
Grocery Store If you want to learn where to meet girls the grocery store is a great place to start. Most women are appointed to do the cooking for the household causing them to flock to the grocery store on a consistent basis. This is a good sign for you because it provides a steady flow of attractive woman for you to approach. The best part is women of all ages come to the grocery store because at the end of the day everyone needs food.
Online Dating Websites such as face book and my space are now some of the top twenty visited sites on the internet. This shows that online dating went from something that was considered odd to something that is perfectly normal and acceptable in today's world. The great thing about online dating is it will let you practice your attraction creating skills with the woman and you won't have to get rejected face to face.
John Banks
How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out Today
How to get a guy to ask you out is on the minds of most women who want to go out with a guy (usually one in particular), but for some reason just can't figure out how to send the right signal first that they're interested and then to get them to ask them to do something. This article will explore some tips to help you to get a guy to ask you out.
Find something that you have in common If you have something in common with the guy - start up a conversation about it. For example, if he is a baseball fan (and you are) - perhaps you can start a conversation about the most recent game results. Say something like "boy, didn't XXX play great last night". Maybe you could also mention that you happen to have tickets to an upcoming game and see what his reaction is.. You could apply this technique to just about anything that you have in common. And - if you don't have anything in common to use this technique, why would you even want to know how to get a guy to ask you out - at least for this guy. Don't waste your time.
Ask him out! Just do it - ask him out yourself. This is a common thing today. If he happens to say no, accept it graciously and move in. It is possible that he might be interested in you, but just might not be feeling like he is in the right 'place' to pursue a relationship. Of course - if he says YES, then enjoy your night out!
Nancy Nash
Find something that you have in common If you have something in common with the guy - start up a conversation about it. For example, if he is a baseball fan (and you are) - perhaps you can start a conversation about the most recent game results. Say something like "boy, didn't XXX play great last night". Maybe you could also mention that you happen to have tickets to an upcoming game and see what his reaction is.. You could apply this technique to just about anything that you have in common. And - if you don't have anything in common to use this technique, why would you even want to know how to get a guy to ask you out - at least for this guy. Don't waste your time.
Ask him out! Just do it - ask him out yourself. This is a common thing today. If he happens to say no, accept it graciously and move in. It is possible that he might be interested in you, but just might not be feeling like he is in the right 'place' to pursue a relationship. Of course - if he says YES, then enjoy your night out!
Nancy Nash
How to Get Over Shyness With Women
Ask any guy and he'll tell you that he's at least a little shy around girls. Self-confidence is absolutely vital when it comes to dealing with women, but it's easily shaken when we get rejected. On the flip side, being successful in your interaction is a massive boost to one's self-confidence.
Regardless, before you leap into the fray, you must boost your self-confidence. Below you'll find three tips to help improve your confidence.
How to Get Over Shyness and Be More Confident Around Girls
Tip #1: "Act Relaxed." Even if you're not really feeling comfortable and self-assured in a situation, you should just try and fake it.
It's important to keep in mind that there are many fish in the sea, so even if you mess up with one girl, there are many others to try with. However, if you really have your sights set on one particular girl, then you should try to appear that you're not particularly interested in her. If you come across as desperate for her attention, she won't give you the time of day.
Tip #2: "Use The Astral Projection Technique." Picture yourself in a place where you're totally surrounded by pretty girls. Now imagine yourself being total suave and cool and have no confidence issues. Try and match your mindset to this imaginary world and it will start to come true for you.
Tip #3: "Control the Balance of Power." Another way to fight confidence troubles is to remove a woman's power to reject you. This goes right along with Tip #1 - if you stay cool and don't act like you're desperate to get with her, but rather just want to casually talk, you'll find that the sexual tension starts to build and she'll end being the one to pursue you
Derek Rake
Regardless, before you leap into the fray, you must boost your self-confidence. Below you'll find three tips to help improve your confidence.
How to Get Over Shyness and Be More Confident Around Girls
Tip #1: "Act Relaxed." Even if you're not really feeling comfortable and self-assured in a situation, you should just try and fake it.
It's important to keep in mind that there are many fish in the sea, so even if you mess up with one girl, there are many others to try with. However, if you really have your sights set on one particular girl, then you should try to appear that you're not particularly interested in her. If you come across as desperate for her attention, she won't give you the time of day.
Tip #2: "Use The Astral Projection Technique." Picture yourself in a place where you're totally surrounded by pretty girls. Now imagine yourself being total suave and cool and have no confidence issues. Try and match your mindset to this imaginary world and it will start to come true for you.
Tip #3: "Control the Balance of Power." Another way to fight confidence troubles is to remove a woman's power to reject you. This goes right along with Tip #1 - if you stay cool and don't act like you're desperate to get with her, but rather just want to casually talk, you'll find that the sexual tension starts to build and she'll end being the one to pursue you
Derek Rake
Dating Attractive Women - 3 Tips You Need to Know
Most guys want to be able to date beautiful women. After all, we are naturally visually oriented. So, it's only natural that when you see an attractive woman, your first thoughts turn to sex and dating. Guess what, though? Most guys never really get to do any more than just take a look, and that's it. Wouldn't it be nice to know that you ARE the kind of guy that can do more than just look?
You know that there are other guys out there that do have these kinds of experiences. You see them in clubs and bars and you can't wrap your head around how they do it. They aren't always the best looking guy and many times, they don't have a lot of money.
So, what is the secret that you don't know? Why do they get the attention of these beautiful girls while you stand on the sidelines? Here are 3 tips that should really get you moving in the right direction...getting closer to doing more than just looking!
1. Start seeing yourself as the kind of guy that gets laid. If you don't see yourself this way, then no one will. Want hotties to look at you with a little bit of lust? They aren't going to do this if you look like the kind of guy that never gets laid.
2. Don't get all serious about approaching a beautiful woman. This is when you are going to get nervous and start second guessing yourself. Relax and have fun with it.
3. Learn how to create sexual tension. A little bit can go a LONG way here and when you know how to turn this on in just the right way, you can walk up to that girl you have been checking out and walk away with her number and maybe much more.
Chris tyler
You know that there are other guys out there that do have these kinds of experiences. You see them in clubs and bars and you can't wrap your head around how they do it. They aren't always the best looking guy and many times, they don't have a lot of money.
So, what is the secret that you don't know? Why do they get the attention of these beautiful girls while you stand on the sidelines? Here are 3 tips that should really get you moving in the right direction...getting closer to doing more than just looking!
1. Start seeing yourself as the kind of guy that gets laid. If you don't see yourself this way, then no one will. Want hotties to look at you with a little bit of lust? They aren't going to do this if you look like the kind of guy that never gets laid.
2. Don't get all serious about approaching a beautiful woman. This is when you are going to get nervous and start second guessing yourself. Relax and have fun with it.
3. Learn how to create sexual tension. A little bit can go a LONG way here and when you know how to turn this on in just the right way, you can walk up to that girl you have been checking out and walk away with her number and maybe much more.
Chris tyler
How to Attract Super Hot Girls - Even If You're Completely Super Average
The majority of the time, for average looking guys, it just seems beyond the realm of possibility to be able to attract hot girls. However, this is only true when you don't have access to the right techniques. While some of these secret methods are controversial, they are also highly effective and can help you get with any woman even if you're poor and unattractive.
Once you've learned the right moves, you'll notice that your ability to seduce woman will be increased substantially. Here are three solid methods to start you in the right direction...
How to Get with Super Hot Girls - Even If You're Completely Average
Technique #1: "Push Her Emotional Buttons." Women are naturally emotional creatures, so it helps if you come at them from that angle. I'm not suggesting that you should go up to her and start declaring your undying love - not at all.
Instead, what you want to do is ensure that she remains the center of the attention without giving up control of the interaction. Keep focusing on her feelings, and she'll start to look at you like you're Romeo to her Juliet (this move is referred to as "value elicitation" in the seduction community).
Technique #2: "Leave Her Hanging." You can easily win over a girl by teasing her, and leaving her begging for more. Each time she indicates her interest in you, then back off completely - go rejoin your group and pretty much ignore her for a bit. She'll eventually come following after you - just make sure that you don't break off your interaction before you've got her "hooked."
Technique #3: "Use Fractionation." To achieve amazing success with women, learn how to use fractionation" hypnosis as a seduction tool. This technique is based on principles of NLP, or neuro-lingustic programming, and it's powerfully effective for making women fall in love - it can take just 15 minutes. Use this tactic and you'll get jaw-dropping results.
Derek Rake
Once you've learned the right moves, you'll notice that your ability to seduce woman will be increased substantially. Here are three solid methods to start you in the right direction...
How to Get with Super Hot Girls - Even If You're Completely Average
Technique #1: "Push Her Emotional Buttons." Women are naturally emotional creatures, so it helps if you come at them from that angle. I'm not suggesting that you should go up to her and start declaring your undying love - not at all.
Instead, what you want to do is ensure that she remains the center of the attention without giving up control of the interaction. Keep focusing on her feelings, and she'll start to look at you like you're Romeo to her Juliet (this move is referred to as "value elicitation" in the seduction community).
Technique #2: "Leave Her Hanging." You can easily win over a girl by teasing her, and leaving her begging for more. Each time she indicates her interest in you, then back off completely - go rejoin your group and pretty much ignore her for a bit. She'll eventually come following after you - just make sure that you don't break off your interaction before you've got her "hooked."
Technique #3: "Use Fractionation." To achieve amazing success with women, learn how to use fractionation" hypnosis as a seduction tool. This technique is based on principles of NLP, or neuro-lingustic programming, and it's powerfully effective for making women fall in love - it can take just 15 minutes. Use this tactic and you'll get jaw-dropping results.
Derek Rake
Some of the Best Places to Meet People
I can not say it any clearer. A Bar is a place that you would want to go if you were looking for other people who like to drink. But what do you do if want to meet a friendly, non-drinker? Then I would have to say that we may need to look at other locations.
Are you the shy type? I am too. I combined my shyness along with my love for sports activities and joined a coed softball team through my company. Joining a team develop you into a team player and will help you break the ice with a few of your fellow team mates, which could lead to a first date.
What do you do if your company does not have any sports activities? Well, let look at what a self employed person might do. You could join a club or become an active participant in you local neighborhood groups.
The bottom line is that if you want to meet people then go to where there are a lot of people. Look to meet people when you are at the shopping mall or pro-sporting events are two places that pop to mind. Be ready to strike up a conversation and see if there is anyone there that you are able to make a connection with. I even once decided to take a cooking class at the local community college in order to get out and meet someone. Not only was I able to converse with some new faces, but I learned to make a mean cake.
Douglas Quinn
Are you the shy type? I am too. I combined my shyness along with my love for sports activities and joined a coed softball team through my company. Joining a team develop you into a team player and will help you break the ice with a few of your fellow team mates, which could lead to a first date.
What do you do if your company does not have any sports activities? Well, let look at what a self employed person might do. You could join a club or become an active participant in you local neighborhood groups.
The bottom line is that if you want to meet people then go to where there are a lot of people. Look to meet people when you are at the shopping mall or pro-sporting events are two places that pop to mind. Be ready to strike up a conversation and see if there is anyone there that you are able to make a connection with. I even once decided to take a cooking class at the local community college in order to get out and meet someone. Not only was I able to converse with some new faces, but I learned to make a mean cake.
Douglas Quinn
Eight Tips For a Successful Date
Going on a first date can be tough on anyone. We all feel that we have to be cool or dashing in order to earn the rights to a second date. It is a lot of pressure during the first date that it sometimes blows up in our face. But there are those times when everything clicks and goes right. How do you make sure that the first date will always help you get that second date? Well here are 7 helpful tips that will help anyone make sure that they begin and end the date on the right foot.
1. Make a plan for the first date. Planning a date requires that you know something about the women that you want to court. Is she a vegetarian? What type of food does she like? Is she a romantic, or does she like hanging out at the ball park? Spending a little time on the phone with her, prior to the date, will not only show that you are organize, but that you have an active interest in her.
2. Personal Hygiene is King. Showing up on your date in ratty clothes smelling like a trash can says that you do not care about yourself. And how in the world could you care for her, if you have no pride your personal hygiene? So comb your hair, brush your teeth and dress appropriately for the date activities.
3. Flowers and Candy Never Hurt Anyone. Always show up with a small gift for her. This is a special occasion that will be remembered throughout your relationship. Show her that you want this to be a night to remember by showing up with flowers or candy.
4. Be Mindful of Your Manners. Show here that you have some educate and that you are educated. Nothing can kill the mood than watching someone chew there food with an open mouth, or get hostile with the parking attendant.
5. Make and Keep Eye Contact Throughout the Night. If she is talking about a boring topic, make sure that you keep that eye contact. Keeping eye contact during the conversation reiterates that you are truly interested in her and not what is on the television behind her.
6. Be an Active Participant in During the Date. Ask her questions. Get to know her likes and dislikes. What are her dreams and aspirations in both the near and long range future. Show here that you have an active interest in her and also communicate the dreams and aspirations that you have as well.
7. Friendly Silences and the Final Moment. Sit down with her in a silent moment shows that there is a trustful bond between the two of you. Some of the best moments in a date are the ones that have some quiet time.
8. The Final Moment. Look for the following signs to see if there is a possibility for that first kiss. Did she grab the breath mint after the meal? Did she brush or hold your hand during your conversation? If any of these is a yes, then lean in to give her a soft kiss and let it develop from there. And when you are done, do not forget to ask her for a second date.
Douglas Quinn
1. Make a plan for the first date. Planning a date requires that you know something about the women that you want to court. Is she a vegetarian? What type of food does she like? Is she a romantic, or does she like hanging out at the ball park? Spending a little time on the phone with her, prior to the date, will not only show that you are organize, but that you have an active interest in her.
2. Personal Hygiene is King. Showing up on your date in ratty clothes smelling like a trash can says that you do not care about yourself. And how in the world could you care for her, if you have no pride your personal hygiene? So comb your hair, brush your teeth and dress appropriately for the date activities.
3. Flowers and Candy Never Hurt Anyone. Always show up with a small gift for her. This is a special occasion that will be remembered throughout your relationship. Show her that you want this to be a night to remember by showing up with flowers or candy.
4. Be Mindful of Your Manners. Show here that you have some educate and that you are educated. Nothing can kill the mood than watching someone chew there food with an open mouth, or get hostile with the parking attendant.
5. Make and Keep Eye Contact Throughout the Night. If she is talking about a boring topic, make sure that you keep that eye contact. Keeping eye contact during the conversation reiterates that you are truly interested in her and not what is on the television behind her.
6. Be an Active Participant in During the Date. Ask her questions. Get to know her likes and dislikes. What are her dreams and aspirations in both the near and long range future. Show here that you have an active interest in her and also communicate the dreams and aspirations that you have as well.
7. Friendly Silences and the Final Moment. Sit down with her in a silent moment shows that there is a trustful bond between the two of you. Some of the best moments in a date are the ones that have some quiet time.
8. The Final Moment. Look for the following signs to see if there is a possibility for that first kiss. Did she grab the breath mint after the meal? Did she brush or hold your hand during your conversation? If any of these is a yes, then lean in to give her a soft kiss and let it develop from there. And when you are done, do not forget to ask her for a second date.
Douglas Quinn
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Top 3 Marriage Killers - How to Avoid and Fix Them and Save Your Marriage Before It's Too Late
The top 3 marriage killers are appropriately named. They will creep into your marriage without warning, take over and before you know it, they're causing havoc and mayhem. If they're not stopped, they WILL end your marriage. So if you want to save your marriage, then make sure you do whatever it takes to avoid them.
The Top 3 Marriage Killers
1) Emotional Distance - When there is distance between a couple, particularly emotional distance there is always the chance for things to go wrong.
We are social creatures. We crave both physical and emotional contact with other people and we will often do whatever it takes to have that contact.
So, whenever you're not feeling close to your spouse, you can easily find yourself looking to someone else for that closeness and that brings real danger to your marriage.
The longer this distance goes on between you and your spouse, the more difficult it becomes to heal.
To fix the number one on the "Top 3 Marriage Killers List" make sure that you fully involve yourself in what your spouse is interested in, make time for you both to be together. Talk to your spouse regularly and share moments of love just like you did when you were courting.
2) Lack of Communication - When things go wrong, if you and your spouse can't talk about it, then you have a tough job on your hands fixing things. That's why it's vital that you avoid the number two on the list.
In your mind go back to when you were dating and you were in the honeymoon stages of your marriage and remember how you used to talk then.
Make time at the end of the day to discuss your individual days!
Never be too busy to listen to your spouse!
Try and be sympathetic and not judgmental when your spouse comes to you with a problem!
3) Face up to Problems - There's a saying that you should never go to sleep on a problem and there is some truth in that. As one of the "Top 3 Marriage Killers" goes one of the worst things that many married people do, is to not face up to problems when they first appear.
To save your marriage, make sure that you start immediately to deal with the tough issues. What might have been something small and unimportant can over time, become huge and lead to major problems.
Pick your moment about how you and when you deal with your problems, but deal with them you must and deal with them now!
If you're afraid to deal with conflict in marriage, then start by accepting that both of you have to compromise and give and you must find a way to disagree without wounding and hurting each other badly.
Mo Simpson
The Top 3 Marriage Killers
1) Emotional Distance - When there is distance between a couple, particularly emotional distance there is always the chance for things to go wrong.
We are social creatures. We crave both physical and emotional contact with other people and we will often do whatever it takes to have that contact.
So, whenever you're not feeling close to your spouse, you can easily find yourself looking to someone else for that closeness and that brings real danger to your marriage.
The longer this distance goes on between you and your spouse, the more difficult it becomes to heal.
To fix the number one on the "Top 3 Marriage Killers List" make sure that you fully involve yourself in what your spouse is interested in, make time for you both to be together. Talk to your spouse regularly and share moments of love just like you did when you were courting.
2) Lack of Communication - When things go wrong, if you and your spouse can't talk about it, then you have a tough job on your hands fixing things. That's why it's vital that you avoid the number two on the list.
In your mind go back to when you were dating and you were in the honeymoon stages of your marriage and remember how you used to talk then.
Make time at the end of the day to discuss your individual days!
Never be too busy to listen to your spouse!
Try and be sympathetic and not judgmental when your spouse comes to you with a problem!
3) Face up to Problems - There's a saying that you should never go to sleep on a problem and there is some truth in that. As one of the "Top 3 Marriage Killers" goes one of the worst things that many married people do, is to not face up to problems when they first appear.
To save your marriage, make sure that you start immediately to deal with the tough issues. What might have been something small and unimportant can over time, become huge and lead to major problems.
Pick your moment about how you and when you deal with your problems, but deal with them you must and deal with them now!
If you're afraid to deal with conflict in marriage, then start by accepting that both of you have to compromise and give and you must find a way to disagree without wounding and hurting each other badly.
Mo Simpson
Advice For Troubled Marriage - The Truth No One Dares to Share
This topic, advice for troubled marriage has appeared in millions of books worldwide but still people are looking for the right one. I am no expert but I have come to realize one thing that most people are afraid to say. That is, you need to invest money into your marriage.
I know that sounds a bit off but it is the truth. Let me ask you the following questions before I unpack my argument.
• How much have you spent on your looks this year? • How much have you invested in your children (school fees, savings, well fare etc.) • How much have you invested in your career (college fees, seminars, books etc.)
I am sure you have probably spent hundreds of thousands.
All of those things form part of your life and you have done the right thing by spending money to keep them going. Now, how much have you spent investing in your marriage? Except for the money spent on your wedding.
I hope you get my point here and if you were looking for any other type of advice for troubled marriages then you are in the wring place.
You need to take time to learn as much as you can about your spouse. That takes talking to him or her and buying books and resources that will help you understand relationships better. There is no way you will wake up one day and find yourself knowing everything there is to know about marriage.
Do not try to re-invent the wheel just learn from others who have been there and also take the time to see what experts have to say on the subject. The truth is your marriage is unique and no one can really offer you tailor made advice but at least you will have a base to start on.
I am not trying to sell you anything here but I am telling you something no one else will. The day I got this "revelation" was the day my own marriage started taking shape. It didn't happen in one day nor did it happen in 20 days but after investing heavily on it for months I started seeing really good returns
Siyant Olekoe
I know that sounds a bit off but it is the truth. Let me ask you the following questions before I unpack my argument.
• How much have you spent on your looks this year? • How much have you invested in your children (school fees, savings, well fare etc.) • How much have you invested in your career (college fees, seminars, books etc.)
I am sure you have probably spent hundreds of thousands.
All of those things form part of your life and you have done the right thing by spending money to keep them going. Now, how much have you spent investing in your marriage? Except for the money spent on your wedding.
I hope you get my point here and if you were looking for any other type of advice for troubled marriages then you are in the wring place.
You need to take time to learn as much as you can about your spouse. That takes talking to him or her and buying books and resources that will help you understand relationships better. There is no way you will wake up one day and find yourself knowing everything there is to know about marriage.
Do not try to re-invent the wheel just learn from others who have been there and also take the time to see what experts have to say on the subject. The truth is your marriage is unique and no one can really offer you tailor made advice but at least you will have a base to start on.
I am not trying to sell you anything here but I am telling you something no one else will. The day I got this "revelation" was the day my own marriage started taking shape. It didn't happen in one day nor did it happen in 20 days but after investing heavily on it for months I started seeing really good returns
Siyant Olekoe
How to Save a Dying Relationship
We all want our romantic relationships to last. As much as possible, we hope to make it as smooth sailing as possible. Nonetheless, such ideal situation never really exists. There will come a time when disagreement between couples will surface. Problems and confrontations will arise, and soon after, what seemed to be inseparable and indestructible begins to crumble and shatter into pieces. You then wonder how you can save your dying relationship.
Of course, if you were in this case, you'd want to save the dying relationship. You'd do anything in your power to bring back the pieces together. We cannot afford to lose someone we hold so dear to our heart that's why we struggle to find ways to patch things up.
In most cases, the early stages of a relationship determine if a couple is meant to last. It is where you get to know your partner better and that is the time when you decide if you can accept everything that your partner is. This is the time when you try to adjust yourself toward your partner and you also work on compromising some of your own ideals and preferences for the sake of attuning your lifestyle, and probably your mindset, parallel to your partner.
At times, conflicts may arise and you may at times feel that things aren't working out the way they're supposed to. Then you start getting frustrated, and slowly, your ties begin to loosen up, beginning to separate the bonds that once were so strong.
It is a sad ending if such happens. Sometimes, pride gets in the way. Because of anger and frustration, you end up losing the relationship.
The thing is, because of too much pride and anger you forget to realize the worth of your partner. You tend to disregard everything that you've been through. More often than not, you realize these things but a little late than necessary. This will bring you much pain than you've ever felt which will make you think what you could have done instead.
There's a lot you can do to save your relationship. However, no matter what plan of action you choose, the success of saving the relationship wells from both of your conscious effort to make things work.
Both of you must want to patch things up. You must take time to understand the situation, accept the things you've done wrong, and start with a determined stance of making things better for the sake of love. At times, your partner may want to have some space and time to mull things over and that is perfectly okay.
Communication is key; everything works out when there is communication. Let your partner know what you want and don't want, and what you're willing to compromise. Make your partner feel that you want the relationship to last and that you are willing to give anything just to make it work.
Coming into terms to save a dying relationship may be complex for some but it is relatively easy. This stems from your sincerity and genuine desire to be with the one you love. If you have that in your heart, then nothing can be a problem.
Melissa Haworth
Of course, if you were in this case, you'd want to save the dying relationship. You'd do anything in your power to bring back the pieces together. We cannot afford to lose someone we hold so dear to our heart that's why we struggle to find ways to patch things up.
In most cases, the early stages of a relationship determine if a couple is meant to last. It is where you get to know your partner better and that is the time when you decide if you can accept everything that your partner is. This is the time when you try to adjust yourself toward your partner and you also work on compromising some of your own ideals and preferences for the sake of attuning your lifestyle, and probably your mindset, parallel to your partner.
At times, conflicts may arise and you may at times feel that things aren't working out the way they're supposed to. Then you start getting frustrated, and slowly, your ties begin to loosen up, beginning to separate the bonds that once were so strong.
It is a sad ending if such happens. Sometimes, pride gets in the way. Because of anger and frustration, you end up losing the relationship.
The thing is, because of too much pride and anger you forget to realize the worth of your partner. You tend to disregard everything that you've been through. More often than not, you realize these things but a little late than necessary. This will bring you much pain than you've ever felt which will make you think what you could have done instead.
There's a lot you can do to save your relationship. However, no matter what plan of action you choose, the success of saving the relationship wells from both of your conscious effort to make things work.
Both of you must want to patch things up. You must take time to understand the situation, accept the things you've done wrong, and start with a determined stance of making things better for the sake of love. At times, your partner may want to have some space and time to mull things over and that is perfectly okay.
Communication is key; everything works out when there is communication. Let your partner know what you want and don't want, and what you're willing to compromise. Make your partner feel that you want the relationship to last and that you are willing to give anything just to make it work.
Coming into terms to save a dying relationship may be complex for some but it is relatively easy. This stems from your sincerity and genuine desire to be with the one you love. If you have that in your heart, then nothing can be a problem.
Melissa Haworth
Monday, July 20, 2009
Keep My Woman Happy - Relationship Advice on How to Keep a Woman Happy
Keeping your woman happy is a crucial part of any successful relationship. Here I provide some advice if you need to make your lady happy. All mature men know that good looks are not what attract women, what women find most attractive in men is a depth of feelings and emotional empathy.
You must have noticed that some of the most undistinguished looking men, men who are just plain ordinary in their looks are hitched to some of the most beautiful intelligent women you have ever seen! So let me tell you if you have been putting on a display that is not the real you in some way, solely to impress your girl give it up right now and be yourself.
Just being confident and happy in whom and what you are will make you an attractive man to be with. All women find confidence a bigger draw than looks.
Pay attention! Yes pay attention to her, when you get home from work don't talk about your day ask your lady how her day was, every day set five minutes apart for her to tell you how she has been all day, and listen too! Take in all the she has to say and comment on what she has said to show that you have paid attention.
Your relationship could be in a rut, so you will need to shake things up. Try different things, when was the last time you took her flowers. Come to that have you ever taken her flowers?! Wait for the next fine weekend and go for a picnic, YES A PICNIC, it's cheap and easy. Go and buy the food yourself, get some nice wine, (don't forget the corkscrew or glasses and blanket) and go to the forest or beach, wherever she would prefer. SHE WILL LOVE THIS!
Stop taking her for granted, she could leave at any time so give her reasons not to, be nice, be kind and considerate, think about things from her point of view and never forget that men and women see the world and everything in it slightly differently.
Where you see black and white and rationality she will see colors and varying amounts of grey all tinged with emotions. Men and women are not the same do not forget that. This sounds stupid but it is a must for a successful relationship, Make her laugh! In every list in every woman's magazine "a good sense of humor" comes top or second top in what a women want in a man.
There is a saying "those who play together stay together" and believe me it is absolutely true. Apart from the obvious fact that it is harder to stray when you are in her company, if you share a common interest or hobby it will form a closer bond between you.
Get your act together with your dress and grooming do you look like a slob? How would you like it if she did not take care of her appearance? Get some new clothes; shave in the mornings especially on your days off! And for Pete's sake clean up and smell nice.
Women need their social network of friends and family, they often won't miss a week without seeing their mother's, so make the effort to be nice and pleasant towards her friends and family.
All these things are plainly common sense, but I nearly lost my love from my life because I wasn't paying attention to my lady.
Look, I know how it feels to nearly lose the love of your life. I have been there and been through it. You can actually keep your lady happy if you are willing to work at it. You just need to follow the right plan. It is not rocket science! I've got a video guide for you at my website that is guaranteed to keep the romance alive in your relationship. It is actually much easier to speak to real people who have been there and done that, than to a pay a specialist to give you canned information about making relationships work. This system is proven to work time and time again. Be Positive and Take action NOW! You are now taking the same steps that I took when I nearly lost the love of my life.
Tom Donofon
You must have noticed that some of the most undistinguished looking men, men who are just plain ordinary in their looks are hitched to some of the most beautiful intelligent women you have ever seen! So let me tell you if you have been putting on a display that is not the real you in some way, solely to impress your girl give it up right now and be yourself.
Just being confident and happy in whom and what you are will make you an attractive man to be with. All women find confidence a bigger draw than looks.
Pay attention! Yes pay attention to her, when you get home from work don't talk about your day ask your lady how her day was, every day set five minutes apart for her to tell you how she has been all day, and listen too! Take in all the she has to say and comment on what she has said to show that you have paid attention.
Your relationship could be in a rut, so you will need to shake things up. Try different things, when was the last time you took her flowers. Come to that have you ever taken her flowers?! Wait for the next fine weekend and go for a picnic, YES A PICNIC, it's cheap and easy. Go and buy the food yourself, get some nice wine, (don't forget the corkscrew or glasses and blanket) and go to the forest or beach, wherever she would prefer. SHE WILL LOVE THIS!
Stop taking her for granted, she could leave at any time so give her reasons not to, be nice, be kind and considerate, think about things from her point of view and never forget that men and women see the world and everything in it slightly differently.
Where you see black and white and rationality she will see colors and varying amounts of grey all tinged with emotions. Men and women are not the same do not forget that. This sounds stupid but it is a must for a successful relationship, Make her laugh! In every list in every woman's magazine "a good sense of humor" comes top or second top in what a women want in a man.
There is a saying "those who play together stay together" and believe me it is absolutely true. Apart from the obvious fact that it is harder to stray when you are in her company, if you share a common interest or hobby it will form a closer bond between you.
Get your act together with your dress and grooming do you look like a slob? How would you like it if she did not take care of her appearance? Get some new clothes; shave in the mornings especially on your days off! And for Pete's sake clean up and smell nice.
Women need their social network of friends and family, they often won't miss a week without seeing their mother's, so make the effort to be nice and pleasant towards her friends and family.
All these things are plainly common sense, but I nearly lost my love from my life because I wasn't paying attention to my lady.
Look, I know how it feels to nearly lose the love of your life. I have been there and been through it. You can actually keep your lady happy if you are willing to work at it. You just need to follow the right plan. It is not rocket science! I've got a video guide for you at my website that is guaranteed to keep the romance alive in your relationship. It is actually much easier to speak to real people who have been there and done that, than to a pay a specialist to give you canned information about making relationships work. This system is proven to work time and time again. Be Positive and Take action NOW! You are now taking the same steps that I took when I nearly lost the love of my life.
Tom Donofon
How to Keep Your Relationship Alive (and Healthy!)
Now this isn't rocket science but it appears it isn't obvious to a lot of people - dare I say 'most' people. Its all about making an effort, communication, being positive...see told you it wasn't rocket science.
To make it easier Ill do a list for you.
1. Talk to each other, he open and honest about how your feeling, good and bad, just be tactful !!
2. Make an effort, this means with yourself, as well as with your partner. Don't fall into the trap of not taking the time with how you look because he/she loves you, just the way you are - always make an effort, this could be going to the gym or going for a walk (together, with the kids, whatever works)
3. Tell each other much you love each other, regularly, what you appreciate about each other.
4. Have 'date nights' where you get dressed up, separately if possible and then just before you go out you reveal yourselves to each other - its fun and will remind you both why you fell in love.
5. Ensure your children get used to spending time in another room on their own regularly, so you and your partner can spend time every day just talking, the two of you.
Nothing worse than you not being able to talk because one of the children wants 'mummy'...not easy I know - but with persistence it can be done - haven't you watched Super Nanny!! Yes if you have a young baby then thats not always possible but there will be a time when the baby is in bed (preferably not in your room) when Mum and Dad can have some time together, appreciate everyone is tired with a young baby around but still make the effort to connect, it only takes a minute to show appreciation. Mums often develop low self esteem after children - think their bodies aren't attractive anymore - its up to the dads to remind them that they still are. Dads don't get away scot free either ! Its up to you to keep yourselves looking good as well. It takes two to make a relationship work - I know its not easy, but it can be done and as I said its not rocket science, just takes effort on both sides. Good Luck !
Helen Lingard
To make it easier Ill do a list for you.
1. Talk to each other, he open and honest about how your feeling, good and bad, just be tactful !!
2. Make an effort, this means with yourself, as well as with your partner. Don't fall into the trap of not taking the time with how you look because he/she loves you, just the way you are - always make an effort, this could be going to the gym or going for a walk (together, with the kids, whatever works)
3. Tell each other much you love each other, regularly, what you appreciate about each other.
4. Have 'date nights' where you get dressed up, separately if possible and then just before you go out you reveal yourselves to each other - its fun and will remind you both why you fell in love.
5. Ensure your children get used to spending time in another room on their own regularly, so you and your partner can spend time every day just talking, the two of you.
Nothing worse than you not being able to talk because one of the children wants 'mummy'...not easy I know - but with persistence it can be done - haven't you watched Super Nanny!! Yes if you have a young baby then thats not always possible but there will be a time when the baby is in bed (preferably not in your room) when Mum and Dad can have some time together, appreciate everyone is tired with a young baby around but still make the effort to connect, it only takes a minute to show appreciation. Mums often develop low self esteem after children - think their bodies aren't attractive anymore - its up to the dads to remind them that they still are. Dads don't get away scot free either ! Its up to you to keep yourselves looking good as well. It takes two to make a relationship work - I know its not easy, but it can be done and as I said its not rocket science, just takes effort on both sides. Good Luck !
Helen Lingard
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
How to Make Friends Who Will Make You More Friends
Let me ask you a question: What have been the most important influences in your life? Wait, before you answer I bet I can guess what they all have in common: People. That's right. Relationship are the most important course of influence you will ever experience.
Not only that, if you were to study the death bed research you would find that no one ever talks about how much money they made. They never talk about how much time they spent at work or even what they accomplished. It's all about the times which they shared with the most important people in their life. So how can you begin to enrich the relationships in your life?
By learning how to make friends which will make you more friends.
Now surely there is more to positive influence than knowing how to make friends. I mean of course they need to be good friends. That is why it is so important to make friends who will want to introduce you to their friends. This begins not with the type of friends you choose but with the type of person you become. You see, most of the time people are going to like you for how you make them feel when they are around you. If you want to make people feel good, you must become someone who sets a good example by who you are.
Here are a few tips for how to make friends who will make you more friends:
· Be a better listener than you are a talker
There is almost nothing better that you can do than be a good listener. People generally only listen to others knowing that is will soon be their turn to talk. While surely we all need to be heard, someone is more likely to listen to you if they know that you care enough to do the same for them. Knowing how to make friends usually requires doing things which most people just won't. Here is a tip to being a better listener: When you are listening to someone, make sure that you turn off the dialogue which is going on in your mind. Meaning thinking about how to respond or even thinking too much about what they are saying. Why? Because if too much is going on inside your mind while you are listening to them, then you are really listening to yourself instead.
· Seek to understand people instead of trying to be right
Being right does not build relationships and it certainly won't help you in learning how to make friends worth keeping. Sometimes we are afraid to tell people that we understand them because we somehow think that means that we are agreeing with them. Truly understanding a person is nothing more than valuing their perspective. Try this: The next time that you disagree with someone don't try to persuade them. Instead, see if you can find out why they believe what they do. You may be surprised at what you will learn, and how much it will strengthen the relationship.
These are some simple yet powerful steps you can take today to learn how to make friends who will make you more friends. So write them down and put them where you can see them every day.
Violetta Ristevska
Not only that, if you were to study the death bed research you would find that no one ever talks about how much money they made. They never talk about how much time they spent at work or even what they accomplished. It's all about the times which they shared with the most important people in their life. So how can you begin to enrich the relationships in your life?
By learning how to make friends which will make you more friends.
Now surely there is more to positive influence than knowing how to make friends. I mean of course they need to be good friends. That is why it is so important to make friends who will want to introduce you to their friends. This begins not with the type of friends you choose but with the type of person you become. You see, most of the time people are going to like you for how you make them feel when they are around you. If you want to make people feel good, you must become someone who sets a good example by who you are.
Here are a few tips for how to make friends who will make you more friends:
· Be a better listener than you are a talker
There is almost nothing better that you can do than be a good listener. People generally only listen to others knowing that is will soon be their turn to talk. While surely we all need to be heard, someone is more likely to listen to you if they know that you care enough to do the same for them. Knowing how to make friends usually requires doing things which most people just won't. Here is a tip to being a better listener: When you are listening to someone, make sure that you turn off the dialogue which is going on in your mind. Meaning thinking about how to respond or even thinking too much about what they are saying. Why? Because if too much is going on inside your mind while you are listening to them, then you are really listening to yourself instead.
· Seek to understand people instead of trying to be right
Being right does not build relationships and it certainly won't help you in learning how to make friends worth keeping. Sometimes we are afraid to tell people that we understand them because we somehow think that means that we are agreeing with them. Truly understanding a person is nothing more than valuing their perspective. Try this: The next time that you disagree with someone don't try to persuade them. Instead, see if you can find out why they believe what they do. You may be surprised at what you will learn, and how much it will strengthen the relationship.
These are some simple yet powerful steps you can take today to learn how to make friends who will make you more friends. So write them down and put them where you can see them every day.
Violetta Ristevska
life is full of love
Since my teen age days, I always wondered when will I meet the prince of my life... Life is so fast paced that one after the other, all aspirations went into vain. Any girl of my age then would have made the same mistakes caused by the rush of youth and juices of love.
My teen age days are long gone, and I sometimes wonder, what would have been if I would have made right choices in life.
All my relationships were awesome. Full of love and care. But my search of that "someone special" always forced me to move out of a relationship and to move on..... What a shame...... At one point in my life, I was left with no choice but to hate myself and long for someone to hold my hand and to tell that I am still love worthy.
Not only me , I have seen many girls making the same mistake. If you are wondering what is my age, well I am still young.
If I look back today, no doubt I get filled with remorse of what mistakes I have made. Not to mention the need of apology to all those whose hearts were broken by me in some way or the other. Whether it was my parents, friends or lovers.
Life is full of love.... Love is all around. Love is in the form of your pet waiting for you to play with it. Love is the first drop of rain which can take you back in memories. Love is the first time your dad taught you how to ride a bike. Love is when your mom gave you the right shade of lip gloss. Love is when your brother told you not to go out with that guy. Love is when your sister wore your favourite top. Love is when you sat with your friend saying .. nothing... Love is what you think of yourself. Love is admitting your faults and carry on with this beautiful life. Love is telling your future husband all that you have done in life, all that you are proud or ashamed of... Love is to believe in you and spend your rest of the life with the one who is your prince charming.
Vijayata lakhanpal
My teen age days are long gone, and I sometimes wonder, what would have been if I would have made right choices in life.
All my relationships were awesome. Full of love and care. But my search of that "someone special" always forced me to move out of a relationship and to move on..... What a shame...... At one point in my life, I was left with no choice but to hate myself and long for someone to hold my hand and to tell that I am still love worthy.
Not only me , I have seen many girls making the same mistake. If you are wondering what is my age, well I am still young.
If I look back today, no doubt I get filled with remorse of what mistakes I have made. Not to mention the need of apology to all those whose hearts were broken by me in some way or the other. Whether it was my parents, friends or lovers.
Life is full of love.... Love is all around. Love is in the form of your pet waiting for you to play with it. Love is the first drop of rain which can take you back in memories. Love is the first time your dad taught you how to ride a bike. Love is when your mom gave you the right shade of lip gloss. Love is when your brother told you not to go out with that guy. Love is when your sister wore your favourite top. Love is when you sat with your friend saying .. nothing... Love is what you think of yourself. Love is admitting your faults and carry on with this beautiful life. Love is telling your future husband all that you have done in life, all that you are proud or ashamed of... Love is to believe in you and spend your rest of the life with the one who is your prince charming.
Vijayata lakhanpal
Long Distance relationship advice
We've all been there at one stage or another... the dreaded long distance relationship.
It might be a full blown geographic problem because one of you moved away for school, family or work. Maybe you met online and simply live on opposite sides of the country. Or perhaps you're temporarily apart while one of you is traveling for the summer. Whatever the reason for the distance separating the two of you, it sucks, doesn't it?
There is almost nothing worse than being apart from the guy you love!
But the news isn't all bad. You can use your time away from each other to show him just how inventive and fun you can be, even when he's not right there next to you. It'll make him miss you all the more... and think how awesome that will make things when you next get to see each other ;)
So here are some great tips you can use to make sure the distance isn't all doom and gloom. In fact, you'll be able to use them to actually strengthen your relationship (it's true!) AND have a whole load of fun along the way.
Let's have a look at the tools at your disposal. Everyone has at least one of the following:
1. a phone 2. the internet 3. pen and paper 4. a camera...
...so there are no excuses! Using any one of these tools you can really rock his world with dirty notes and surprise messages, and using a combination of all of them? Well, you'll be unstoppable!
Here are just some of the suggestions I have on how you can use these tools to spice up your long distance relationship.
1. The Phone
Of course you already know about phone sex. If you've done it before you'll know how fun it can be to talk about what you'd like him to be doing to you, what you're doing to yourself, or any number of other little scenarios you think he will enjoy. And if you haven't done it before, now's the time to start! Just begin by telling him how much you've desired him all day and how you pictured him when you masturbated last night... and let it go from there.
I know phone sex can be a bit daunting for some people, though, so if you're not comfortable with it just yet, here are some other ways you can use your phone to let your guy know you're thinking of him:
* Text messaging: Sometimes it's a lot easier to be dirty in a text than it is to say the words out loud. Plus, you can send a text any time of the day or night regardless of the time zones that might be separating you.
* Picture messaging: Guys are extremely visual, so send him a saucy picture when he isn't expecting it. Stuck for ideas? How about taking your phone with you to the restroom next time you go and take a shot of your boobs for him (even in your bra). He'll have a huge grin in his face all day when he gets it!
* Voice messaging: Call your guy when you know he's asleep or busy, so you get is voicemail or answering machine, then leave a wonderfully dirty message he'll hear the next time he checks it. Guaranteed to make him smile.
2. The Internet
Hop online and send your guy dirty emails or suggestive instant messages. It's an excellent way to get time together, and you can be as dirty as you like, wherever you are... even at work (just use a personal email account!).
And then there's webcamming :) If you both have internet access MAKE SURE you each have a webcam you can use so you'll be able to see each other, no matter where you are. Remember, again, that guys can be very visual, so a webcam is your opportunity to let him see what he's missing.
3. Pen and Paper
Failing all forms of modern technology, there is good old fashioned pen and paper. Everyone loves getting mail, and your guy is going to LOVE a letter filled with all the things you're going to do to him when you see him again. You can also send photos, CDs, mementos, etc. But bear in mind you're not a penpal, you're his lover. If you really want to get him hot, leave out the teddy bears... keep the content strictly adult.
4. A Camera
Well, I'm not sure I have to expand on this one. Just recall that men love an image we can stare at time and again (hello... this is why we love porn!). Why not make yourself his own personal porn star? You can keep it tasteful if you want... or really go to town. Either way he's going to love you for it and remember why he wants to be back with you as soon as he is able.
So how about that? Has this given you some ideas about how to add a spark to your long distance love? I hope so!
I realized when I was going through this list that I haven't even scratched the surface, so stay tuned for the next article I have planned on this topic... it'll cover some essential dos and don'ts for keeping your long distance relationship alive and THRIVING.
Evan Michael
It might be a full blown geographic problem because one of you moved away for school, family or work. Maybe you met online and simply live on opposite sides of the country. Or perhaps you're temporarily apart while one of you is traveling for the summer. Whatever the reason for the distance separating the two of you, it sucks, doesn't it?
There is almost nothing worse than being apart from the guy you love!
But the news isn't all bad. You can use your time away from each other to show him just how inventive and fun you can be, even when he's not right there next to you. It'll make him miss you all the more... and think how awesome that will make things when you next get to see each other ;)
So here are some great tips you can use to make sure the distance isn't all doom and gloom. In fact, you'll be able to use them to actually strengthen your relationship (it's true!) AND have a whole load of fun along the way.
Let's have a look at the tools at your disposal. Everyone has at least one of the following:
1. a phone 2. the internet 3. pen and paper 4. a camera...
...so there are no excuses! Using any one of these tools you can really rock his world with dirty notes and surprise messages, and using a combination of all of them? Well, you'll be unstoppable!
Here are just some of the suggestions I have on how you can use these tools to spice up your long distance relationship.
1. The Phone
Of course you already know about phone sex. If you've done it before you'll know how fun it can be to talk about what you'd like him to be doing to you, what you're doing to yourself, or any number of other little scenarios you think he will enjoy. And if you haven't done it before, now's the time to start! Just begin by telling him how much you've desired him all day and how you pictured him when you masturbated last night... and let it go from there.
I know phone sex can be a bit daunting for some people, though, so if you're not comfortable with it just yet, here are some other ways you can use your phone to let your guy know you're thinking of him:
* Text messaging: Sometimes it's a lot easier to be dirty in a text than it is to say the words out loud. Plus, you can send a text any time of the day or night regardless of the time zones that might be separating you.
* Picture messaging: Guys are extremely visual, so send him a saucy picture when he isn't expecting it. Stuck for ideas? How about taking your phone with you to the restroom next time you go and take a shot of your boobs for him (even in your bra). He'll have a huge grin in his face all day when he gets it!
* Voice messaging: Call your guy when you know he's asleep or busy, so you get is voicemail or answering machine, then leave a wonderfully dirty message he'll hear the next time he checks it. Guaranteed to make him smile.
2. The Internet
Hop online and send your guy dirty emails or suggestive instant messages. It's an excellent way to get time together, and you can be as dirty as you like, wherever you are... even at work (just use a personal email account!).
And then there's webcamming :) If you both have internet access MAKE SURE you each have a webcam you can use so you'll be able to see each other, no matter where you are. Remember, again, that guys can be very visual, so a webcam is your opportunity to let him see what he's missing.
3. Pen and Paper
Failing all forms of modern technology, there is good old fashioned pen and paper. Everyone loves getting mail, and your guy is going to LOVE a letter filled with all the things you're going to do to him when you see him again. You can also send photos, CDs, mementos, etc. But bear in mind you're not a penpal, you're his lover. If you really want to get him hot, leave out the teddy bears... keep the content strictly adult.
4. A Camera
Well, I'm not sure I have to expand on this one. Just recall that men love an image we can stare at time and again (hello... this is why we love porn!). Why not make yourself his own personal porn star? You can keep it tasteful if you want... or really go to town. Either way he's going to love you for it and remember why he wants to be back with you as soon as he is able.
So how about that? Has this given you some ideas about how to add a spark to your long distance love? I hope so!
I realized when I was going through this list that I haven't even scratched the surface, so stay tuned for the next article I have planned on this topic... it'll cover some essential dos and don'ts for keeping your long distance relationship alive and THRIVING.
Evan Michael
female orgasm secrets
Arousing a girl is the secret to giving her the orgasms you want. Sex is all about romance and romancing for a girl and the way to arouse her is primarily by this kind of approach. Attracting her- Attracting her is of prime importance. You are bound to catch her attention with your jokes and jovial nature. She will definitely like you for your capacity to keep people in splits of laughter, your light heartedness and humor. A woman is not attracted only by the outer looks of a person but by his personality. So, groom yourself to be a perfect woman's man. Appreciate her- Appreciating her and things about her will make you her best man. She will like the way you appreciate and admire her for everything. It is not only her looks and clothes or sense of dressing that should be appreciated, but also her achievements and qualities. Let her feel like a rare person. Create a perfect scene- Create a perfect scene to get her in the mood for love. Make her comfortable being with you. Create the perfect ambience that spells LOVE and ROMANCE to take her aback. That will arouse her to heights of ecstasy and she will be ready for the rest to follow. Dancing, necking and petting are all part of the arousal. The way you kiss her too will convey the very passion and fire that is kindling within you. The foreplay- This is the eventual secret. Foreplay plays a very important role. Do not start with undressing and baring her right at the start. Do it gradually and more like a tease while you fondle and touch her all over. The breasts and nipples especially are very sensitive. Next, the thighs, the clitoris and the vaginal region help in the ultimate orgasm.
Jason Leadind
Jason Leadind
10 Rules for friendly fighting for couples
For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever be heard. In the heat of a moment, it is always a choice whether to go for a run or run your partner down.
On the other hand, no two people in the world, no matter how made for each other they feel, will ever agree about everything at all times. (It would be quite boring if they did.) Couples do need to be able to negotiate differences. They do need to have room for constructive criticism. They do need a way to assert opinions and to disagree. And they do need to have a way to express intense feelings (that the other person may not understand or support) without feeling that they will be judged as lacking for doing so.
A healthy relationship requires knowing the skills necessary for “friendly fighting” — dealing with conflict respectfully and working together to find a workable solution. Friendly fighting means working out differences that matter. It means engaging passionately about things we feel passionate about, without resorting to hurting one another. It helps us let off steam without getting burned. Friendly fighting lets us “fight” and still stay friends.
Couples in mature, healthy relationships seem intuitively to understand the notion of friendly fighting. Some people have been fortunate enough to grow up in families where their parents modeled how to disagree without being disagreeable. Others were so horrified by the way their folks treated each other that they refuse to repeat the behavior in their own relationships. Most couples, though, learn the art of friendly fighting by working it out together and supporting each other in staying in close relationship even when differences mystify, frustrate, and upset them. Most come up with stated or unstated rules for engagement that are surprisingly similar.
Below are some tips to ensure that conflicts will strengthen your marriage instead of harm it.
Ten rules for friendly fighting: or how to ensure that conflicts will strengthen your marriage instead of harm it.
1.Embrace conflict. There is no need to fear it. Conflict is normal, even healthy. Differences between you mean that there are things you can learn from each other. Often conflict shows us where we can or need to grow.
2.Go after the issue, not each other. Friendly fighting sticks with the issue. Neither party resorts to name calling or character assassination. It’s enough to deal with the problem without adding the new problem of hurting each other’s feelings.
3.Listen respectfully. When people feel strongly about something, it’s only fair to hear them out. Respectful listening means acknowledging their feelings, either verbally or through focused attention. It means never telling someone that he or she “shouldn’t” feel that way. It means saving your point of view until after you’ve let the other person know you understand that they feel intensely about the subject, even if you don’t quite get it.
4.Talk softly. The louder someone yells, the less likely they are to be heard. Even if your partner yells, there’s no need to yell back. Taking the volume down makes it possible for people to start focusing on the issues instead of reacting to the noise.
5.Get curious, not defensive. Defending yourself, whether by vehemently protesting your innocence or rightness or by turning the tables and attacking, escalates the fight. Instead of upping the ante, ask for more information, details, and examples. There is usually some basis for the other person’s complaint. When you meet a complaint with curiosity, you make room for understanding.
6.Ask for specifics. Global statements that include the words “always” and “never” almost always get you nowhere and never are true. When your partner has complaints, ask to move from global comments of exasperation to specific examples so you can understand exactly what he or she is talking about. When you have complaints, do your best to give your partner examples to work with.
7.Find points of agreement. There almost always are parts of a conflict that can be points of agreement. Finding common ground, even if it’s agreeing that there is a problem, is an important start to finding a common solution.
8.Look for options. Fighting ends when cooperation begins. Asking politely for suggestions or alternatives invites collaboration. Careful consideration of options shows respect. Offering alternatives of your own shows that you also are willing to try something new.
9.Make concessions. Small concessions can turn the situation around. If you give a little, it makes room for the other person to make concessions too. Small concessions lead to larger compromises. Compromise doesn’t have to mean that you’re meeting each other exactly 50-50. Sometimes it’s a 60-40 or even 80-20 agreement. This isn’t about scorekeeping. It’s about finding a solution that is workable for both of you.
10.Make peace. An elderly friend who has been married for 68 years tells me that she and her husband made a rule on their wedding day never to go to bed angry. They agreed from the outset that the relationship is more important than winning arguments. Sometimes this meant they stayed up very, very late until they came to a workable compromise. Sometimes it meant that one or the other of them decided the issue wasn’t really important enough to lose sleep over. Since they both value the marriage, neither one gave in or gave up most of the time. When one did give in or give up, the other showed appreciation and made a peace offering of his or her own. These folks still love each other after 68 years of the inevitable conflicts that come with living with another person. They are probably onto something.
Marie Hartwell
On the other hand, no two people in the world, no matter how made for each other they feel, will ever agree about everything at all times. (It would be quite boring if they did.) Couples do need to be able to negotiate differences. They do need to have room for constructive criticism. They do need a way to assert opinions and to disagree. And they do need to have a way to express intense feelings (that the other person may not understand or support) without feeling that they will be judged as lacking for doing so.
A healthy relationship requires knowing the skills necessary for “friendly fighting” — dealing with conflict respectfully and working together to find a workable solution. Friendly fighting means working out differences that matter. It means engaging passionately about things we feel passionate about, without resorting to hurting one another. It helps us let off steam without getting burned. Friendly fighting lets us “fight” and still stay friends.
Couples in mature, healthy relationships seem intuitively to understand the notion of friendly fighting. Some people have been fortunate enough to grow up in families where their parents modeled how to disagree without being disagreeable. Others were so horrified by the way their folks treated each other that they refuse to repeat the behavior in their own relationships. Most couples, though, learn the art of friendly fighting by working it out together and supporting each other in staying in close relationship even when differences mystify, frustrate, and upset them. Most come up with stated or unstated rules for engagement that are surprisingly similar.
Below are some tips to ensure that conflicts will strengthen your marriage instead of harm it.
Ten rules for friendly fighting: or how to ensure that conflicts will strengthen your marriage instead of harm it.
1.Embrace conflict. There is no need to fear it. Conflict is normal, even healthy. Differences between you mean that there are things you can learn from each other. Often conflict shows us where we can or need to grow.
2.Go after the issue, not each other. Friendly fighting sticks with the issue. Neither party resorts to name calling or character assassination. It’s enough to deal with the problem without adding the new problem of hurting each other’s feelings.
3.Listen respectfully. When people feel strongly about something, it’s only fair to hear them out. Respectful listening means acknowledging their feelings, either verbally or through focused attention. It means never telling someone that he or she “shouldn’t” feel that way. It means saving your point of view until after you’ve let the other person know you understand that they feel intensely about the subject, even if you don’t quite get it.
4.Talk softly. The louder someone yells, the less likely they are to be heard. Even if your partner yells, there’s no need to yell back. Taking the volume down makes it possible for people to start focusing on the issues instead of reacting to the noise.
5.Get curious, not defensive. Defending yourself, whether by vehemently protesting your innocence or rightness or by turning the tables and attacking, escalates the fight. Instead of upping the ante, ask for more information, details, and examples. There is usually some basis for the other person’s complaint. When you meet a complaint with curiosity, you make room for understanding.
6.Ask for specifics. Global statements that include the words “always” and “never” almost always get you nowhere and never are true. When your partner has complaints, ask to move from global comments of exasperation to specific examples so you can understand exactly what he or she is talking about. When you have complaints, do your best to give your partner examples to work with.
7.Find points of agreement. There almost always are parts of a conflict that can be points of agreement. Finding common ground, even if it’s agreeing that there is a problem, is an important start to finding a common solution.
8.Look for options. Fighting ends when cooperation begins. Asking politely for suggestions or alternatives invites collaboration. Careful consideration of options shows respect. Offering alternatives of your own shows that you also are willing to try something new.
9.Make concessions. Small concessions can turn the situation around. If you give a little, it makes room for the other person to make concessions too. Small concessions lead to larger compromises. Compromise doesn’t have to mean that you’re meeting each other exactly 50-50. Sometimes it’s a 60-40 or even 80-20 agreement. This isn’t about scorekeeping. It’s about finding a solution that is workable for both of you.
10.Make peace. An elderly friend who has been married for 68 years tells me that she and her husband made a rule on their wedding day never to go to bed angry. They agreed from the outset that the relationship is more important than winning arguments. Sometimes this meant they stayed up very, very late until they came to a workable compromise. Sometimes it meant that one or the other of them decided the issue wasn’t really important enough to lose sleep over. Since they both value the marriage, neither one gave in or gave up most of the time. When one did give in or give up, the other showed appreciation and made a peace offering of his or her own. These folks still love each other after 68 years of the inevitable conflicts that come with living with another person. They are probably onto something.
Marie Hartwell
10 Secrets of Happy Couples
They might be 30, or 75. They come in all colors, shapes, sizes and income brackets. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been together. Whatever the demographics, when you see a happy couple, you just know it!
How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”
Happy Couples and Their Secrets
1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.
Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.
2. Work on the relationship.
An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.
3. Spend time together.
There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.
4. Make room for “separateness.”
Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.
5. Make the most of your differences.
Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.
6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.
If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. If you do both of these things at once you’ve got a winning plan!
7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.
There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.
8. Communicate!
Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even though you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.
9. Honesty is essential.
You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as breathing.
10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.
Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.
Making these secrets an integral part of your relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. If you maintain your efforts, however, you will likely reap what you sow.
Maud Purcell
How do these couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”
Happy Couples and Their Secrets
1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.
Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.
2. Work on the relationship.
An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.
3. Spend time together.
There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.
4. Make room for “separateness.”
Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.
5. Make the most of your differences.
Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.
6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.
If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. If you do both of these things at once you’ve got a winning plan!
7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.
There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.
8. Communicate!
Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even though you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.
9. Honesty is essential.
You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as breathing.
10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.
Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.
Making these secrets an integral part of your relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up. If you maintain your efforts, however, you will likely reap what you sow.
Maud Purcell
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