Someone Special Holding Your Happiness Hostage?

What is happiness? When will we actually achieve or attain true happiness? I guess no one really has the answer to these questions and those who have given us answers, have those answers open to interpretation. But we all have a sense of what happiness is like, what that feeling is, what it causes inside of us and how it makes us see the beauty and glory in everything and everyone.
Many of us believe, that real happiness will come into our lives only when we find that one true person whom we love, who loves us back and is our perfect soul mate. I personally used to think along those lines too, that all my life problems, dissatisfaction and unhappiness would be gone, If I managed to find the perfect girl for myself. Let's be honest, So many of us truly believe that if we can find that perfect someone special, then all the happiness in the world would come rushing into our lives and we'll live happily ever after...just like the perfect Disney story.
It's almost everyone's hidden or sometimes displayed, heartfelt desire to have someone special in their life. And I think It's great. It's wonderful actually. It's our innate, natural god given desire, so it's cool for us to be open about it and not hide it.
The Problem
The problem arises when we start thinking that happiness will come to us ONLY when we find that someone 'RIGHT', that happiness will only show itself in all it's splendor when we're in that relationship with them. And THIS is where things start to fall apart.
By thinking in these terms, like this. We end up making our happiness dependent on something outside of our realm of control. Like the weather. You can't control the weather and similarly you can't control when you're going to meet the RIGHT person. Consider this; what are the chances of a Disney style 'happily ever after' happening in real life? 1 in a 1000? considering reality, it's more like 1 in a 1000000 (million). Do you really want to put your happiness on something that has those kinds of odds? Now I'm not saying that perfect couples don't exist. I'm just saying that it's a rare occurrence and instead of waiting on chance for that rarity to occur in your life. You should learn to live for your own happiness.
You can't keep holding yourself back from life and happiness, thinking that happiness will happen only when you find that special someone. Look inside of you...DEEP inside of you and many of you might find that you're holding your happiness hostage consciously or most probably subconsciously. Do you really want something other than yourself , to be in control of your happiness? I don't.
The solution
Is there a solution? I mean, these things are natural and inbuilt. We can't deny our instinctual tendency to expect and look forward to the happiness we foresee in the future, of being with that special someone. I agree. But the key here, is to look forward to the future, but not suffer due to it, in the present. you can't live your life by 'copping out' to the excuse that happiness will come only when you meet 'Prince/princess charming.' Don't be so shallow and naive or rather in many cases LAZY. You can't give in to the belief, that a single event/person is the main source of happiness in your life. Things don't work that way and that's the WONDERFUL part about it!!
You don't Need a reason to be happy. It's all inbuilt. It's the natural order of beings.The innate mode of the soul, the spirit in you,is to be HAPPY. It makes me sad to think that most of the world has been fooled ( read programmed) into thinking that you need a REASON to be HAPPY.
What to do next
My dad used to say that if you love what you're doing, then everything will automatically come to you in abundance and this implies for the right person too, to come into your life. So start actually LIVING your life. It's like the song by T.I. - live your life. Just live your life and do the things that you know would give you lasting fulfillment. Get a new job, make some music, write a book, dance, travel the world, meet new people( usually the best for a lot of reasons), start gardening, fashion designing...Do anything that makes you happy and have the COURAGE to do it.
Do the things in life that naturally make you happy regardless of what other people say. You don't need approval or anyone's permission to be happy and do what you love. By doing the things that challenge, excite and enlighten you, you satisfy the soul and open yourself up to the universe and everything else, even that special someone will, in their due time, enter into your life. :)

Ashwin Thapliyal