Friendships can be a lot of fun when things are going honky-dory on both ends, but what about when one keeps coming up with the same old problem over and over and over again? It may strain the relationship. You may feel like, oh no, here we go again, that same old stuff. Apparently it's not the same old stuff for the other person because they are still struggling with the same issue, so what can you, as friend do?
10 Positive Ways to Deal with That Same Old Problem:
1. Never say: Oh, that again! It's a real turn off and it invalidates your friend's feelings. It may be the same old, same old; however, it's rearing its ugly head and needs to be dealt with. You may be the only person who may be able to direct him or her to seek professional help.
2. Listen: Maintain that eye contact that says you care about what's going on with your friend. Turn that TV off, put that book down, turn that cell phone off or put it on silent, please.
3. Don't judge: Don't be quick to judge, that's the last thing your friend needs. The reason your friend is coming to you is because he or she is feeling confused about an issue. So what if it's the same issue, it's real.
4. Listen: Don't zone out, yes, you've heard that part already, but whatever you do, don't give that glaze-over look. It looks like an 'I don't care' look.
5. Allow: Give your friend the space and time to vent, cry, talk, or sob. Apparently your friend feels safe in sharing his or her innermost feelings, respect those feelings by allowing them to flow.
6. Listen: Use reflective listening. Ascertain what it is you're hearing and clarify if you need to, by doing this it sends the signal that you understand or at least that you're trying to understand.
7. Learn: Every friendship carries lessons and everyone can learn from them. Some of the most valuable lessons in life are taught through real friendships. These lessons are not a one way street, they go both ways. Learn from each other.
8. Listen: Don't just hear the words, but really listen to the underlying message and whatever you do, don't deny your friend's feelings. Denying their feelings can feel like you're belittling them.
9. Be honest: Being honest can hurt a friendship or put it on the rocks. When being honest be considerate and use tact. Think before you speak, if you need to write down notes before putting out your real thoughts, by all means do so, because once they're out you can't take your words back.
10. Listen: You will want someone to listen to you when it's your turn.
There's an old saying that says, "If you want to have friends, then be a friend". True friendships take work and depending on how much effort you put into your relationship, is how much you will get out of it. With good friendships, the odds are higher that someone will be there for you when it's your turn to cry.
Krystalina soash
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