Most of the people that visit my site, like 85% of them come from the USA. I have heard that 35% of people in the USA attend church on Sunday and so I am sure almost a third of the readers might find this interesting. It was a very frank and honest chat. He outlined 3 things that had to be considered.
1. I had to find myself.
My pastor explained to me that when you are married that is was like yellow soda (me) mixing with blue soda ( my wife) into a union that made us green soda. He said it did not matter that she was not living with me anymore, the fact of the matter was that I was not yet back to my original yellow soda as parts of her blue were still in me. He said I needed to take a two year break from relationships in order to re-find myself and also to be in the right state of mind to enter into a mature relationship with another woman.
2. I had to allow time for healing and counseling.
My pastor knew that I had been abused as a child and said that this time alone would be a perfect time to enter into a time of healing for those things that happened in my childhood. I had some good friends in the church that could support me in this process, both male and female and it was a good opportunity to heal myself up and become a potentially better partner for the next lady.
3. I had to allow time to develop a deeper relationship with God.
My pastor knew that my wife was my idol and he suggested that the next two years be devoted to drawing closer to God so that no partner in the future would be unhealthy for my faith. He pointed out to me that a man can hold his lady in higher esteem than God and he pointed out that this was a great error.
I hope my pastors candid advice to me has given you food for thought
Mattew payne
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