Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Taking the leap- From friends to lovers

The transition from friends to lovers can be difficult to do especially if you have been friends for a long time. You know that it can also be quite scary for a girl to hear that her guy best friend is falling in love with her. So the best you can do is to endure a little more time hiding your real feelings and continue being one of the "girlfriends". I can only imagine what a torture it can be hearing her lusting about this guy or talking about how great the date or the sex was. Just think that enduring this pain has a greater purpose.
Taking her by surprise that you're inlove with her can do more harm than good. You will be risking the long and beautiful friendship. If you don't do it right your friend might think that you took advantage of her friendship just to get close to her and get her attention. Your attraction to her can be misinterpreted as betrayal and manipulation to win her interest. So if you want to change lanes from friends to lovers, do it correctly and with finesse. First thing that you should do is to think and try to put your place in her place.
How would you feel if the person you truly trust and feel comfortable with and considers as "one of the guy" now sees you differently? Predictably, you will now feel strange and uncomfortable towards her. You can no longer express yourself to her because you're careful not to hurt her feelings. You can now kiss your wonderful friendship goodbye. If you have thought deeply of the consequences of leaping from friends to lovers, you might need to slow down and create an action plan. The good news is, if you want to do that change from friends to lovers, you have the advantage.
You know her more than any other guy in the planet. All you have to do is give her that attention she needs. Take care of her, pamper her. Let your actions do the talking. The reason she puts you in a friend category is because you treated her like one of her girlfriend treats her. Exert an extra effort. Open the door for her, extend the chair when she's about to sit down, download her favorite music in her ipod, help her with her errands, put a coat on her when its cold. Let other people notice how a great guy you are and let her be the envy of her girlfriends.
When she talks about the guy she's crazy about, listen and naturally inject your own opinions on what you would do if you're in a relationship. For instance, you can say something like "if I found the girl of my dreams, I will pamper her and take care of her the way I take care of you. I will love her and do my best not to hurt her. I will protect her and make her smile always. I will not just a lover to her but a best friend, just like us..." In making a transition from friends to lovers, do it gradually.
Bit by bit let her see your potential as a mate. Let her see you in a different light. Let her see that you can be more than friends and that turning friends to lovers can be a good thing.

Ruth Purple

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