There comes a time in our lives when we must decide with finality whether or not we are going to follow Christ in earnest. We want to know God's Will, set in our hearts to do it, but when it comes to action, we run the other way. Why? Most of the time, God's Will requires that we totally trust His leading without having the slightest hint of what the future holds. It requires change from the norm. Often enough, that change is convoluted and mysterious. We don't like that and that is where the struggle begins. Following the Will of God suddenly becomes following Him "our way".
In his fine book, "Experiencing God", Henry Blackaby wrote, "You cannot continue life as usual or stay where you are, and go with God at the same time. That is true throughout Scripture. Noah could not continue life as usual and build an ark at the same time Jonah had to leave his home and overcome a major prejudice in order to preach in Nineveh. Saul (later Paul) had to completely change directions in life in order to be used of God to preach the Gospel to the Gentiles."
What does it cost to follow Jesus? Often times, the cost is more than we want to pay comfortably. What we really want is a comfortable relationship with Him just as long as He doesn't interrupt our lives. It's true that Jesus always accepts us where we are. However, He never leaves us there. When the prodigal son returned home, his father did not leave him the way he arrived. Gold rings, robes, feasting (and a bath I hope!) were heaped on the son.
We need to understand that Jesus is Our Friend. To understand our relationship as His friends, we need to learn the true definition of a friend, according to Scriptures. I believe that once we do that, our struggles to follow the Will of God become less and less. At the same time, we learn how to be true friends to others.
Twelve (12) Ingredients to Successful Friendships:
1.Love:
Read Proverbs 17:17. The word "friend" is so misused today that it has lost its true meaning. A true friend loves even when it's sorely uncomfortable. A friend is a friend even when it hurts. A friend never leaves you flat when everyone else has. When adversity strikes, a true friend is there with you. In a marriage, your spouse is your best human friend or should be. And you, because you know what Jesus requires of a friend, you are your spouses best friend. A friend loves you when you stink, when you're grumpy and when you've gained 50 pounds. When you're sick, a friend will cook homemade chicken soup and if necessary, spoon-feed you. May I ask? Are you this kind of friend?
2.Commitment:
Read 1 Cor 13:7. One word sums up this passage: Hosea. I got the point with Hosea because some Christians will declare, "I am not Jesus!" That's very true. But there is the human non-God example of true commitment. Do you have a Gomer in your life? All things are possible through Christ, including loving the unlovable.
3.Honesty:
Read Ephesians 4:15. We love to tell others about themselves and have the audacity to call it "being honest". Let's ask ourselves this: what was the intent? Was it to edify or to bring down? The answer to this question will reveal to us if we spoke in love. Proverbs 27:17,19 explains this further.
4.Trust:
Read Proverbs 20:6. Can you recall a time when you messed up so badly that you wish someone would understand you? You realized how stupid your mistake was and you wish you could make it right with your friend? Jesus does that. We can trust Him to have our best interests in mind, even when we mess up royally. Has someone hurt you? Can you be trusted to forgive and forget? Can you be trusted to be a true friend? It's very hard, I know. I've wrestle with it daily. Yet, it's not impossible. Besides, Jesus requires us to do the same as He did on the Cross.
5.Loyalty:
Read Proverbs 17:17. How loyal are we? I can tell you this: Jesus is absolutely loyal to us. Would you be loyal even when at times it is downright unbearable? I was delivering flowers many years ago to this beautiful home. I rang the doorbell and waited. An older man, bent over and frail, answered the door. I was puzzled because the card was addressed to a lady. When I asked about this, he waved me in and told me to deliver it to his wife. The moment I stepped over the threshold, I froze in my tracks. His wife was sitting in her chair, even more frail and immobilized. Next to her on the table was a soup bowl. In her husband's hand was a spoon. On her chest was a bib. This bent over frail old man had been feeding his beloved. I delivered her flowers and left. In my van, I choked back my tears. Jesus had just taught me what loyalty meant.
6.Communication/Sharing:
Read Hebrews 13:16. Do we communicate well? I am not talking about just yapping non-stop. I knew a florist once. She had always wanted flowers from her man. He never gave her a flower because he thought he could never give her the right kind of rose. In his mind, he thought she would criticize the flower and indirectly criticizing him. Little did he know that he was actually communicating a different message to his girlfriend. What message are you communicating to your friend?
7.Support:
Read Ecc: 9, 10. This one is self-explanatory. We all have been in situations when we had no one, relatives or otherwise to turn to in times of troubles. Even God said it is not good for man to be alone. Are you a supporting friend? Can you be counted on to be a friend at 3 am?
8.Encouragement:
Read Philippians 4:8. We all have something that needs changing and we know it. What we fail to realize that there are lovely things about ourselves. Jesus encourages us. He is our cheerleader. He is our personal trainer. He says that even our feet our lovely to Him. Have we looked at the good qualities of our friends? Or are we critical? At one time or another, our friends are going to down in the pits. We need not to be like Job's friends. Rather, we need to be like Christ encouraging and speaking lovely things over our friends.
9.Kindness:
Read Job 6:14. So our friend messed it up again! What is our response? What is Jesus' response to us when we mess up over and over again? What would you like it to be? Can we suffer our friends and be kind anyway? Remember, the same mercy you show will be the same mercy that will be shown to you in your time of need.
10.Availability:
Read Proverbs 27:10. The phone rings at 3:00 am. It's your friend. S/he needs to talk. S/he was just told that their spouse wants a divorce. They are devastated. You just went to bed two hours ago. You were preparing a presentation for your boss and you're bone tired. Will you mumble something and return to bed? Or will you get up, make some coffee and talk with your friend in need?
11.Confidence/Dependability:
Read Galatians 5:10. Trials have just arrived for your friends and you know he heaped it upon himself. What do you do? Will you stop visiting, talking, counseling and praying for him? Would you buy a bag of groceries for him? What would you do? Can you be a dependable friend in his time of need? Or would you abandon him like the disciples abandoned Jesus? Did Jesus abandon you?
12.Forgiveness:
Read Proverbs 17:9. I have to admit I have been guilty of this one in particular. I met a person long ago, who has been in trouble for most of her life. You could set your clock with her propensity to get into a mess. I would sit down with her and counsel her at length. But for all the counseling, I never gave her a chance. I did what others had done to her. I was guilty just the same. I did not forgive and forget. I did not think lovely things about this young one. I failed in my walk with Christ.
You see, if we are truly followers of Christ, as much as it is possible, we are to be true friends to others around us. True friendship is valuable and never easy. When we think of true friendship light of Matthew 25:31-46, it is a necessity and a command of God to His children.
Jonny Riviera
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