Tuesday, August 18, 2009

How to Keep Him - Communication is the Key to the Best Relationships

It is so easy to express your thoughts and emotions with your girlfriends. So why is it so hard to have the same type of communication with your man? The reality is: men and women communicate in such different manners.
When women talk to their girlfriends, they spare no detail. They talk about their thoughts and the depth of their feelings and how those feelings make them react. When men talk, they get to the point with as little detail as possible and they're done.
It's like shopping. When a man goes to the mall, he knows exactly what store has his product. He goes directly to the store, purchases the first item that meets his needs and promptly leaves the mall. Women spend countless hours browsing from item to item. Men don't browse. They get in and they get out.
To establish good communication with your man, you need to learn how to talk to him. It is very different than talking to your girlfriends. Watch him when he speaks. All men have hot buttons that should never be pushed. They also have buttons that can be pushed with great results. Learn which buttons are off limits and which are open targets.
Pay attention to his body language. Does he tune you out when you begin to speak? If he does, you need to change your approach. Don't start your conversation with judgment. Don't compound your conversation with your opinion of his shortcomings and how he should correct them. If you start with either of these approaches, you'll never establish the level of communication you're seeking.
There is a time and place for everything. Don't start your conversations criticizing him or his actions. The topic of his selfishness shouldn't be addressed when he's watching the game. The topic of remodeling the house should not be addressed when he's sorting through piles of unpaid bills. .
Establish a tone that allows him to participate in the conversation. If he feels you are lecturing him or dictating your thoughts to him, he will surely tune you out. Instead, ask him for his opinion on your desired topic. Once he gives you his opinion, accept his thoughts and move on. Don't read a deeper meaning into the topic. Remember shopping, quick - in and out. If you find the topic pushes a hot button, you know that it's off limits; move on.
When it comes to communicating with your man, make him feel that he can tell you anything without repercussions. If he is uncomfortable talking to you; to put it simply, he won't talk to you. If he feels he can communicate with you on any topic, he will open a new level of closeness with you.

Teecee Go

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